grahambrack.bsky.social
Crime novelist and assistant curate in Northamptonshire
115 posts
298 followers
244 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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"Don't take on so, dear. If we can smuggle him into the Houses of Parliament he could make upwards of ten guineas a week and these days he won't even have to join the Conservative Party." #GirlsOwnCC
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Excellent!
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Sarah and Gerald were determined that Boutique Cruises weren't going to hear the last of this. When they asked for a sea view they were rather taking the inclusion of a cabin for granted. #GirlsOwnCC
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Juliet reached for her eraser. When the captain turned round she realised that she must revise the silhouette she was drawing to include a telescope rather than her first impression. #GirlsOwnCC
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I look forward to this every week. Thank you for this innocent (well, relatively innocent) fun.
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"You don't think you've overdone the fake tan, Gerald?" #GirlsOwnCC
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"So I seized his assegai and gave a flick of the wrist and the end came off in my hand - you don't look very well, Roger dear. Was it something I said?"
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"You'll have to row round to Folkestone. Look, a boatload has already landed here today."
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Having seven daughters had certainly aged Doris (and completely done for Harold).
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When I trained as a Reader his “Tensions” was a required book. His crisis of faith led him to some rather odd redefinitions though, as you hint, he understood the pastoral need being served.
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A photo? Aren’t you taking the artist who can’t draw hands?
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“Chin up, Marilyn. If they can elect someone from Chicago as Pope I see no reason why Cambridge University can’t have a Chancellor from Milton Keynes.” #GirlsOwnCC
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♫ Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Oh my gosh, look at her butt (Oh-oh-oh)
Oh my gosh, look at her butt
Look at her butt, look at, look at, look at
Look at her butt ♫
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They tried hard but Bayswater didn't seem to be ready for a Three Degrees tribute band. #GirlsOwnCC
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I've played for teams where 15 runs for the last 7 wickets would be an above par result.
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Done.
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"Think, girls! I know we'd all had quite a few tequila slammers last night but surely one of you can remember who thought it would be a capital jest to swallow the front door key." #GirlsOwnCC
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"Right, so now we need to sort out which of us is going to be Sporty Spice." #GirlsOwnCC
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“You’re lucky. You only have to hide one badly-drawn hand behind your back. I’m condemned to spend my entire life behind fences because he can’t draw legs either.” #GirlsOwnCC
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"So you see, Inspector, I was showing him the flamenco dances I had learned on my recent trip to Spain, failed to notice that he had fainted with ecstasy and accidentally stamped fifteen times on his groin during my - and his - big finish." #GirlsOwnCC
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"Right, when I give the word, Mildred, ram the Oxford eight and I bags being rescued by that hulking stroke they have." #GirlsOwnCC
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It gave the sisters a thrill to think that every time they rowed past Mr Farage another two midget immigrants were hidden under their skirts. #GirlsOwnCC
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"Yes, I think that qualifies as projectile vomiting." #GirlsOwnCC
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"You wouldn't believe a shuttlecock could get up there, would you?" #GirlsOwnCC
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"Let's go home, Roger. The pigeons have already ruined your hat. Goodness knows what flying lions will do." #GirlsOwnCC
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"Not bad, Mrs Dooley, but them Ferrari fellas can change all the tyres in 3.88 seconds." #GirlsOwnCC
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'P'rhaps if you sit in the middle 'e won't keep going round in circles, Lizzie.' #GirlsOwnCC
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"And then the bitch sank her teeth into my calf just below my knee and ripped my trousers. Well, you expect that kind of thing from her Pekinese, but quite frankly I thought the Duchess of Devonshire would show more self-control." #GirlsOwnCC
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Julia could never understand why she didn’t win the Nobel Prize for chemistry for her groundbreaking work creating the perfect Mojito. #GirlsOwnCC
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My sympathy on your loss.
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Thank you!
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"He's been like this ever since he discovered that nobody has invented Andrex yet." #GirlsOwnCC
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Do you think he knows we've filled our sleeves with his Winalot? #GirlsOwnCC
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Of course.
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Better than the other way round. Old ladies get really upset when you try to put your fish and chips wrappers under their hats.
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Having been on an intensive hand-drawing course, the artist had now lost the ability to draw convincing ears too. #GirlsOwnCC
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It’s very disconcerting trying to work while my wife is watching someone giving birth every fifteen minutes in the next room.
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"The cat took a nibble out of this one and we haven't been able to get him off the chandelier for four days." #GirlsOwnCC
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After speaking to her friends Ethel had discovered that Gerald’s golden syrup baths were not a normal feature of married life.
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Then there's the added question of trying to work out which appliance is beeping. Is the freezer door open? Has the dishwasher finished its cycle? Does the washing machine's filter need cleaning? Does the fridge need defrosting? No, the doorbell has lost connection to the internet again.
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Bonzer had strong suspicions that the waxwork effigy of his mistress was starting to melt from the feet upwards. #GirlsOwnCC
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Ours was hoping for a pet gorilla. She will be disappointed, but not until July.
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"When you said why don't we get Brahms and Liszt I didn't realise you meant buying new sheet music." #GirlsOwnCC
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"Maybe if you didn't hit the keys so hard Albert wouldn't have to hold the front on the piano." #GirlsOwnCC