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hadenreynolds.bsky.social
wind in bamboo forest...spirit making furniture, or tearing it apart blm
1,345 posts 327 followers 323 following
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Butcherbirds are named so because of their tendency to impale and tenderise their prey, beating it against branches or pushing it against thorns or sharp twigs. What are you even doing with your life, you piece of shit.

submitted 17 hours ago • 3 comments

When a women tells me her name, I always follow up with, "Oh, like the cheese?" no matter what her name is.

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

Break ups are funny bc it’s like, I saw your boobs and honestly, not for me

submitted 4 days ago • 5 comments

Daylight touches the bedroom ceiling. The spider and the bottle fly of the night before are both now gone. As the sun rays inspect each moulded shadow, they reveal no evidence of a victor, but somehow even less of the fallen. Scholars will question the living relatives for clues.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

On rainy days, our dog sighs like a steam locomotive arriving at a train station in Vienna

submitted 13 days ago • 18 comments

Jesus was technically the first person to do an unboxing video when he rolled out of that tomb

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

brb i have to take my yearly easter shower in the blood of christ to prepare for the zombie hunt

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

In my day we had small butts and we were ok with it

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

I exercised for two minutes

submitted 5 days ago • 22 comments

People who feel obligated to leave the house just bc it’s warm out, please leave your hermit friends alone. The weather doesn’t make the public tolerable all of the sudden.

submitted 5 days ago • 7 comments

Hi! I’m Toby, and sometimes life gets me down, so I can barely imagine how you must be feeling

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I dream in color because Jesus dyed for my sins

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

Of course there's butter on my duvet, I'm not NEW here.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

North of Jenner CA last Sunday

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Is there a rehab out there that doesn't require an addiction? I’d love to relax and journal for 28 days.

submitted 7 days ago • 16 comments

Wish you were (elsew)here

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

Friend zoned my husband again

submitted 8 days ago • 8 comments

l just plugged the usb into my laptop, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE.

submitted 8 days ago • 43 comments

me: our dog has a chip in her. sorry, our dog has some chips on her. i spilled chips on our dog. haha, actually, we don’t have a dog. i ate some chips, though. yesterday. no salsa. lawyer: juror number four, you can go home.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

“Hello” is short for “Hell no”

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments