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invinciblemoose.bsky.social
this is where I talk about ancient aliens shit because my friend and family are tired of it. i work at StackOverflow reporting all new questions as duplicates.
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I was just looking on tinder and saw a girl so pretty she made me dunk my Oreo in milk for too long

submitted 433 days ago • 0 comments

Next they’ll be like “your parents are old enough to remember phones that couldn’t use the internet”

submitted 437 days ago • 0 comments

I hope one day Jamie Foxx says to someone “Actually it’s pronounced Fox-ix”

submitted 440 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah that white flag means “I SURRENDER”, you fucking war criminals.

submitted 442 days ago • 0 comments

Hi, my name's Ray. I'll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun. *misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*

submitted 444 days ago • 8 comments

submitted 444 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t respect watch collectors because they only ever wear one at a time and have two wrists. Nobody takes their hobbies seriously anymore.

submitted 444 days ago • 0 comments

it's so awesome that someone actually made this in the 1800s. this is like what a 6 year old would come up with in a comic as the Ultimate Weapon

submitted 446 days ago • 83 comments

She was like “fuck your journey doc, I am going out guns blazing”

submitted 446 days ago • 0 comments

I love how every zoom call still has to open 5 windows to launch

submitted 447 days ago • 0 comments

I love that he’s still so dedicated to physical comedy

submitted 451 days ago • 0 comments

I’m going to change my ringtone to the song that they play at the beginning of all ads for Jerkmate dot com. Then when it goes off in public I will shake my head in disapproval at anyone who recognizes it.

submitted 452 days ago • 0 comments

Glad we finally know

submitted 466 days ago • 0 comments

25% of Americans die before retirement, so do everything you want to before then.

submitted 467 days ago • 0 comments

I am taking great joy at the level of misery Elon Musk is going through right now.

submitted 470 days ago • 0 comments

One day doctors are going to come out and say something like “Leaning while you sit is bad for you” and I am going to ignore it just like toll fees from other states.

submitted 472 days ago • 0 comments

Dave Attell would be so proud

submitted 472 days ago • 0 comments

There is nothing you can do that would make me more certain that you’re not a man yet than trying to fistfight someone. Grow the fuck up and be a man. You have wrinkles and bags under your eyes you old bitch.

submitted 474 days ago • 0 comments

Too much dust in your house? Pour some bleach into your ventilation system.

submitted 475 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 479 days ago • 0 comments

So happy to see NPR is turning into a clickbait source. Did they hire writers from teen vogue or something?

submitted 479 days ago • 0 comments

This is actually terrible. There are going to be millions of douchebags using this to have internet fights.

submitted 483 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine the level of conceit you must possess to assume everyone wants the same thing as you.

submitted 483 days ago • 0 comments

realizing in week 2 of heating my home with wood that im going to be splitting logs and carrying wood for the rest of my life. however i have also realized it's one of the only things that grows on trees

submitted 486 days ago • 13 comments

Shocked, eh? After he ate magnets? This is the story that will get him elected one day.

submitted 484 days ago • 0 comments

So I drove into Nevada today, where fun is legal, and I stopped at a campground for the night. I realized I am not actually in the campground,I am in a parking lot I think. I was half expecting a knock because I am running my generator to recharge my batteries and don’t want to do it in the camp.

submitted 484 days ago • 1 comment

“We used an iPhone to record it, why is this so hard to understand?” They said.

submitted 484 days ago • 0 comments

I hope YouTube is taking note of how many videos about avoiding procrastination I am adding to my “watch later” list

submitted 486 days ago • 0 comments

They need to stop fucking around and either cut bagels all the way through or not at all.

submitted 491 days ago • 0 comments

a few years ago i ate at a food truck that was so bad i had to take a photo to remember never to eat there again

submitted 493 days ago • 32 comments

Acknowledging a tragedy and posting about how nobody ever does anything about it is the liberal version of thoughts and prayers.

submitted 493 days ago • 0 comments

Don’t trust Google with your privacy, and especially don’t let them see all of your web traffic. How will they use it? They’re not making this for free.

submitted 495 days ago • 0 comments