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jakemeats.bsky.social
18 posts 53 followers 128 following
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Posts 43 Comments 5

Never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, or an anti-vaxxer why their grandparents had 9 siblings.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Grab a spoon bestie we’re tasting bog pudding tonight

submitted 7 days ago • 15 comments

"You're not my surreal Dad!"

submitted 9 days ago • 35 comments

Me: Hi, may I please see the wine list? Waiter: Ma'am, it's 8 AM. Me: Oh, sorry. Good morning, may I please see the wine list?

submitted 9 days ago • 173 comments

How did Mr Tumble sneakily recreating the cover to Black Sabbath's debut album escape me for so many years?

submitted 9 days ago • 25 comments

I love this description. The fries come thrown under the bus.

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

Robert Plant: "I just wrote a song about a girl" Jimmy Page (relieved): "Cool! A love song?" RP: "Yes, about finding my true love" JP: "Great, a classic love song" RP: "Well it does take place in the darkest depths of Mordor. And there's a weird little guy" JP (under breath): "fuck, this again"

submitted 12 days ago • 16 comments

I believe!

submitted 14 days ago • 348 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 132 comments

How I’m feeling tonight

submitted 14 days ago • 18 comments

She speaks truth.

submitted 14 days ago • 1237 comments

Don’t all act surprised when Reform get in at the next election.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

fuck around then, Pingu

submitted 15 days ago • 4 comments

jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline

submitted 15 days ago • 75 comments

Musk is the living embodiment of AI: a broken, tech-bro tool that inserts itself into everyone's life unsolicited and makes everything worse.

submitted 17 days ago • 136 comments

every day we see more and more evidence of society descending into utter lawlessness and chaos

submitted 17 days ago • 492 comments

[Cartoon villain helpdesk] Helpdesk: hello what’s your emergency Villain: I’m trying to get away with something Helpdesk: ok Villain: but there’s these meddling kids Helpdesk: (almost drops phone) you need to get the fuck out of there right now

submitted 186 days ago • 2 comments

If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat, while most of the other monkeys starved, scientists would study that monkey to figure out what the heck was wrong with it. When humans do it, we put them on the cover of Forbes. - NRJ

submitted 17 days ago • 47 comments

I’ve had enough of the depressing news of late, time to settle down with some new films I ordered, I’ve never watched before. Ah! What are these? Threads and when the wind blows…. Sounds like a laugh

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

@irvinewelsh.bsky.social I love your novels, and this isn’t a judgment, but what have you got against dogs? Some messed up stuff happens to dogs in most of your books (death by fireworks, crippled by bolt cutters, fed to alligators lol)

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 20 days ago • 47 comments

morning

submitted 20 days ago • 2 comments

asserting dominance in prison by introducing myself as mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell

submitted 23 days ago • 7 comments

This is what the government did with 120K+ Japanese Americans in 1942. I know. I was there in those camps.

submitted 23 days ago • 3627 comments

THEM: Let me take you down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are hot. ME: What's the grass situation?

submitted 25 days ago • 13 comments

Auschwitz was at the end of a long process. It did not start from gas chambers. This hatred was gradually developed by humans. From ideas, words, stereotypes & prejudice through legal exclusion, dehumanization & escalating violence... to systematic and industrial murder. Auschwitz took time.

submitted 27 days ago • 1093 comments

#SaveThePCC Some of you may have read about the situation regarding our new landlord wishing to add a new redevelopment break clause, with only 6 months notice to our lease. For now, we're simply asking you all to share & sign the petition below; you.38degrees.org.uk/p/princechar...

submitted 26 days ago • 81 comments

Baffy foxical conk splodge

submitted 27 days ago • 11 comments

The inventor of waxing strips has died. RIP

submitted 27 days ago • 13 comments

The news can be depressing but at least I can always relax drinking a delicious cup of rich Colombian coffee. Now to take a big sip while opening my laptop to nytimes dot com

submitted 27 days ago • 4 comments

There’s nothing suspicious at all about Margot Robbie. Definitely nothing suspicious at all about *rearranges letters* R O B E R T M O G A B I

submitted 45 days ago • 17 comments

Julie Gray, wife of Holocaust survivor Gidon Lev, who joined Musk in his visit to Auschwitz speaks out. She says that Musk felt nothing during the tour & only "cared about how he looked." She shared this with me privately shortly after the tour, and I'm grateful she made her thoughts public.

submitted 31 days ago • 186 comments

PAUL MCCARTNEY: Hey I wrote a song about you ME: (shouting from my hill) Oh yeah - what’s it called?

submitted 32 days ago • 4 comments

@bobmort.bsky.social I found the alderman in Times Square Robert, couldn’t find the vicar who stinks of bleach though

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Just making sure that everyone is aware of this crab that NOAA scientists found

submitted 35 days ago • 2146 comments

y’all told me i was crazy when i downloaded all of tiktok and put it on blu-rays but who’s laughing now

submitted 35 days ago • 19 comments

not Lynch's movie, I know, but god, what a sendoff

submitted 38 days ago • 153 comments

So this is complete bullshit. It was just a zookeeper with a microphone.

submitted 42 days ago • 12 comments

imagine getting punched in the stomach by Henry Winkler and as you gasp jukebox tunes start playing out of your mouth

submitted 44 days ago • 8 comments

being on bluesky

submitted 46 days ago • 191 comments

It turns out that Farage was right; foreigners were coming for his job.

submitted 49 days ago • 142 comments

Imagine never bottoming out, I look after my children, work 12 hours a day, come home and cook. Drink at least a bottle and a half of wine a night. Not saying I’m a saint, but never hit my wife, smashed up possessions, shat my pants. 20 years and counting. What am I waiting for! I love drinking☹️

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 51 days ago • 9 comments