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kattsdogma.bsky.social
it me, kd: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bgwoouqx463ponaj5f4wy5y2/feed/aaab3vh6gtzlc
3,139 posts 14,709 followers 427 following
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Posts 45 Comments 5

there must be 50 ways to overthrow your government

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

pussy is one of the 23 dr pepper flavors

submitted 10 hours ago • 17 comments

This is the worst simulation yet and I don’t want to participate anymore.

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 hour ago • 11 comments

To stay on insurance, the three Christmas spirits have to just do regular ghost shit for the rest of the year.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

any diver can drown but only a muff diver can drown in pussy . hi! im Neil deGrasse Tyson & im here to tell you about science or something

submitted 12 hours ago • 6 comments

Whenever you feel lonesome, just look to the north star and think of me- no not that star, the other one, the north one- NORTH you fucking idiot

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

when you click the url and shit gets fucked up for a second, like..

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

*jaw drops. tampon falls out*

submitted 262 days ago • 25 comments

So eh...how YOU doin'?

submitted 16 hours ago • 6 comments

the static electricity is insane today when i walked past a cheesecake in the bakery it stuck to my cart

submitted 6 hours ago • 7 comments

Well, my eggs haven't arrived yet, so I think we have our answer.

submitted 10 hours ago • 11 comments

chex yourself before you t-rex yourself

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

Explain your username: It’s simple really, my name is Euripides James Ryman Falweather Pants, hence MisterPants. I’m second cousin to the Duke of Whitnell, but I assure you I’m not a fancy man, I eat my peas straight off the blade of my knife like anyone else.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Priest: he was best known for inventing the jack in a box, and now a short musical interlude Pallbearer: *starts winding a tiny handle on the side of the coffin*

submitted 7 hours ago • 10 comments

'tomorrow is a new day' feels more like a threat

submitted 14 hours ago • 2 comments

street parking in LA to see a band means asking yourself if it’s worth saving $40 to possibly come back to a missing catalytic converter fml

submitted 1 day ago • 7 comments

I'm at the age where my night cream has become my day cream, and my day cream has gone in the trash.

submitted 13 hours ago • 3 comments

i got stung by a radioactive bee i can't fly or make honey, but my knees look fucking spectacular

submitted 8 hours ago • 7 comments

Hakeem Jeffries is on tour promoting his new book.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

WIFE: *all cute* you wanna make me French toast? ME: *not looking up from my phone* I would never make you kiss anything you didn't want to, Sharon.

submitted 15 hours ago • 4 comments

Tina: You're simply the best. Me: What do you mean by that? Tina: Better than all the rest. Me: Oh! Thanks for the clarification.

submitted 15 hours ago • 5 comments

i’ve always been a pretty big fan of media but i just tried content for the first time and mwah chef’s kiss so good

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

My daughter is having her birthday party at a trampoline place today so I'll either come back with a spine injury or the bird flu. Hopefully both 🤞

submitted 14 hours ago • 40 comments

Force Majeure is my least favorite Axe bodyspray.

submitted 30 days ago • 5 comments

If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

submitted 11 days ago • 24 comments

This day in history. 1966. The Soviets launched dogs Veterok and Ugolek into orbit on Cosmos 110, for a record-setting 21 days. Something happened to them up there, something unnatural, but they never spoke of it.

submitted 366 days ago • 1 comment

the thing that bothers me about this fascism is how they are basically cosplaying as fascists they didn't even make an effort to improve on previous fascism

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

any diver can drown but only a muff diver can drown in pussy . hi! im Neil deGrasse Tyson & im here to tell you about science or something

submitted 12 hours ago • 6 comments

History repeats itself if you say “history history.”

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Is anyone really surprised that Hooters tanked and went bust?

submitted 1 day ago • 20 comments

She’s a 10 but she seems to really like me.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

My accupuncture license got suspended again when the government found out all my prescriptions were just to wrestle a porcupine naked.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

My signature sex move is to lean in, kiss your neck, and then take up arms against the upper classes giving no quarter to our oppressors.

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Someone at work today said I'm really nice, and if they tell anyone else, Imma kick their fucking ass.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I just want to be as optimistic as the rusty motel sign off the old highway that says COLOR TV

submitted 13 hours ago • 7 comments

They say don't cry over spilled milk but what if it's that bag of shredded pepper jack cheese?

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Remember, folks, we all have certain unalienable rights including access to Life Cereal, Liberty Mutual Insurance and the Trivial Pursuit of Happiness.

submitted 13 hours ago • 0 comments

my carpet is beige & my drapes are ecru, in answer to your question

submitted 14 hours ago • 3 comments

Stories of hardship went from walking uphill both ways to being devastated because you have to reset the internet router.

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

adult cows wear moomoos & baby cows wear calftans. folks,, this isn’t even today’s worst i have more

submitted 2 days ago • 17 comments

“What do you want? I’m very busy.” “Afternoon, ma’am, my name is-“ “Who is it, Mom?” “No one, go finish your homework.”

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

nobody likes a pilot with a bad altitude

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

I only want what's best for the squirrels.

submitted 16 hours ago • 10 comments

It was the worst of times, it was the holy smokes how much worse are things gonna get of times.

submitted 15 hours ago • 3 comments