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kylekulseth.bsky.social
Montana-based stand-up comic. Qualifiles as a cryptid, that way... www.standupkulseth.com
329 posts 85 followers 79 following
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The masculine urge to grow rows of thorny spikes along your back and tail, as a natural defense mechanism.

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

if you're not ready to cry with the BIG DAWGS stay the fuck out of our healing circle

submitted 19 hours ago • 1 comment

This helps, if I'm totally honest!

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Gonna wait for you to finish your 10,000 word serious reply to my joke before I hit block

submitted 20 hours ago • 13 comments

A good band name would be "Tylenol Sunrise."

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

The masculine urge to cook "low and slow."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to <the wind picks up and the rest of my sentence is inaudible>

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to give all your friends and loved ones a real treat by calling it "a hum-dinger of a spaghetteroni supper" instead of just "spaghetti for dinner."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to find cool bugs in the yard and then delegate to them responsibilities for which ONLY THEY are qualified.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to think of your own mortal flesh as "a kind of terrible car."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to picture a distant mountain, representing an obstacle to final perfection of the spirit, in your mind's eye.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to build a shed specifically for your 3,105 clarinets.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to sculpt wet sand into a vaguely humanoid shape, to softly cry in front of.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to have a seance, but in the garage.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to give each one of your kitchen utensils a name (and, then, after that, a second SECRET name)

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to sing, in a clear, loud, powerful voice, of the joy you feel in the presence of The Lord* *the neighbor's bulldog

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The masculine urge to drift motionlessly through swamp water, disguised as a floating log

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Hear me out...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

[playing poker] FRIEND: I’m all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are

submitted 98 days ago • 34 comments

Seems fine. What could go wrong?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The brutal equilibrium of having to pee, but not wanting to get up ⚖️

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

all video games are simply a more complex form of this

submitted 121 days ago • 50 comments

Fuck it. All-time favorite baseball player names. I'll start. BOOF Bonser... Guys...BOOF.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

I know the phrase "get absolutely fucked" gets thrown around a LOT these days but...

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

if you take a joke seriously on social media, you die in real life

submitted 5 days ago • 54 comments

Tonight, my loves, I shall listen to Dave Hause and cyber bully self-help cult leaders! I wish this boon upon you all.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

i feel so much rage whenever people try to justify LLM use in art by saying well what about disabled people? disabled people make art every day. they often do utilize tools to help them create. but they don't need a machine to make art for them, and that's all an LLM can do for a writer.

submitted 7 days ago • 93 comments

"How are you?" Me:

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Get in loser, I'm your uber driver.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

A big part of the problem is stupid people have been convinced by rich people that AI is God, when AI is closer to an automatic dog food dispenser.

submitted 6 days ago • 733 comments

the chipotle subreddit is fascinating. every single post is about how the portions are bad or the food is undercooked but they also all say they eat there like 5 times a week

submitted 8 days ago • 58 comments

let’s hear it for chemicals! everyone’s cheering on chemical compounds

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

I see we've entered the "second flowering" of the Online Pickup Artist. Oh, good...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Oh, okay.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Hard to believe he returned without the haircut, but, with a few more sigs I'm confident he'll start growing out the mop...we can still get it done people chng.it/9xVSM4R5Gk

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Can we enact some kind of rule or bylaw that the next pandemic has to wait until we completely stop seeing those "how covid changed <X>" think pieces everywhere? Seems like it might work out okay...

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Videodrome is real. they got it on the Dark Web

submitted 8 days ago • 5 comments

Haven't slept in two nights, might...go to work anyway and throw bananas in the factory machines, I dunno...

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments