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laurastead.bsky.social
Just a purple blob tryna make some dough
11 posts 75 followers 80 following
Regular Contributor
Posts 18 Comments 9

Are you bored tonight? Send your five accomplishments, maybe your shopping list, or your five thoughts on Elon from the past week to OPM at [email protected].

submitted 6 days ago • 1050 comments

Since Trump has claimed Elon doesn’t run DOGE, we wanted to make sure you know who is running our government. This list has been updated with 15 names.

submitted 6 days ago • 191 comments

El Capitan displays a massive American flag upside down—the traditional signal of distress or extreme emergency.

submitted 6 days ago • 1050 comments

Live, Laugh, Limp Bizkit

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Been raw-doggin life for over a month now. My observations so far: 1. Fatigue - returning; miss that Wellbutrin energy 2. Brain fog/intrusive thoughts - creeping back in slowly like some bad M. Night Shyamalan movie 3. Libido - still meh but hopeful 4. Humor - improving 5. Sleep - iffy when manic

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

I’m so tired of having a period

submitted 80 days ago • 12 comments

She asks if I have a light for her cigarette. I pull a tiny dragon from my pocket, and give it a squeeze. It poops down her cleavage.

submitted 545 days ago • 0 comments

this never would have happened at burning woman

submitted 545 days ago • 30 comments

son: your dad jokes are stupid me: they're not "technically" dad jokes son: what do you mean? maury: *clears throat*

submitted 624 days ago • 0 comments

front facing eyes are a key indicator of a predator

submitted 623 days ago • 11 comments

I’m so tired of people thinking I can remember what they said to me 5 seconds ago

submitted 609 days ago • 2 comments

“Your destiny can be delayed but never denied” is about me waiting until September to decorate for Halloween 👻

submitted 547 days ago • 2 comments

the dick sucking factory just called [lowers hat] your mom was in an accident

submitted 607 days ago • 13 comments

A training montage of me, except I never get stronger or better and just continue to suck throughout.

submitted 541 days ago • 10 comments

WHITE DUDE WITH DREADLOCKS: [writing to his girlfriend] my dearest Tallulah, it has been a fortnight since I entered Burning Man. we are nearly out of quinoa and Kind bars. please take good care of my HelloFresh promo code should I fail to return. namaste.

submitted 545 days ago • 10 comments

"I'm your worst nightmare" Ooh really, you're an overflowing toilet in my grandparents' carpeted bathroom? I guess so, cause in my dreams that's always full of shit too 💅

submitted 551 days ago • 2 comments

A murderer tries to stab me but with each thrust of his knife I block it with a sweet potato and after six stabs or so I gently place it in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes

submitted 541 days ago • 22 comments

I get annoyed when I see unpainted vans. Put a wizard on there already. It's not hard. I'll do it.

submitted 587 days ago • 15 comments