loftwerks.bsky.social
The pedestrian you honked at on Powell St. Adoptee.
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265 following
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Love the prints! Stunning.
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The snort returns the baby bird to the nest. The snort is a caretaking hero π π₯
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I read this book to my daughters many, many, many times. My oldest just picked up a copy as a gift for her boss, who is due tomorrow. π π₯
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While not a new denomination or sect, anti-vax/anti-science beliefs incurred a significant increase in the Church in direct correlation to COVID-19 public health measures. Bums in seats equals dollars in the collection plate. Political pushback motivated by threat to revenue.
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Valuing adopters "feelings" over the health & well-being (mental&physical) of the adoptee, the sacrifice of the heart donor, and the lives of others on the transplant wait list is unfortunately very on brand for adopters.
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Unfortunately, while masking & vaccines decrease health risks in church, supporting public health & science now is to admit the Church prioritized revenue over lives (limiting the spread of contagious disease) during the pandemic. Instead, previously eradicated diseases are returning.
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The financial impact of the science-based response to COVID-19 (limit infection thru distancing) on the Church (attendance=collection plate revenue) created a new sect of anti-science Christianity.
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Their selective belief in science (transplants, yes; vaccines, no) while expecting to receive an extremely limited resource (human heart donation) without limiting possible infection (and therefore organ rejection) is shocking.
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My birth mother died prior to my reunion with her extended family. Photos of her short circuit my brain. I find myself thinking, "I don't remember this photo being taken" because my brain can't tell the difference between us. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. π
π₯
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π I'm sorry you had to navigate this. π«
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I spent years trying to navigate to a place/feeling of family & contentment (?) with AM & AB. I realized the foundation is faulty and beyond my power or ability to rectify. I don't wish ill on either, but now I limit access due to the huge emotional bandwidth required to spend time together. π₯
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I can't fill the void adoption & mother-loss caused AB. While I have empathy, his trauma is not my fault (or my spouse or our daughters) nor my responsibility to rectify.
Also, while I have empathy for all genetic outsiders, I intend to *somehow* tell AM to stop with the 3-copies comments. π₯
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Also, I see AM's comment, "How did you create three copies of yourself?" as a conscious or subconscious recognition of genetic mirroring. I grew up a genetic outsider; all our extended family was AM's bio-family. Years later, the majority is now my bio-family (my daughters). Roles reversed. π₯
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AB criticism, passive aggressive comments & constant need for attention/affirmation are exhausting. We are not leaving him out. We're just being ourselves. I now understand the problem isn't our behavior. He's excluded from genetic mirroring & loving relationships spouse & I share with our girls. π₯
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AB uses the left-out narrative to guilt & manipulate. When my spouse, our daughters, and I donβt meet his needs (laughing at unfunny jokes or giving attention when we're content being quiet), AB is vocal that we are the problem. "You guys don't get it. You guys aren't morning people," etc...π₯
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In my teens, I realized my hands (which are small & at the time had minor dermatitis) might LOOK like someone else's hands! (Bio-family). The idea shook me to my core. It was the 1st time I considered the possibility of not being the odd one out; maybe I had people. Maybe I came from PEOPLE. π₯
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My first experience of true family was the birth of my first daughter. She changed everything for me. I suddenly had roots and a connection I had never felt before. π₯
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What I now understand is that tension stems from genetic mirroring. The ease of which my spouse and I exist ππππ our kids is completely foreign to AM and AB. The way we mirror each other, the similarities in how we're wired... just by existing, we are a challenge to the whole premise of adoption. π₯
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In the last few years, AM started repeating the same comment at social functions, "How did you create three copies of yourself?" It's awkward. π₯
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Despite AM advocating and prioritizing AB within the family, AB's believes he is always left out; declaring himself the black sheep of the family. π₯
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One challenge is the dynamic at meals. Even when I provide or host the meal (at home or served family-style at a restaurant), AM always loudly declares, "Make sure AB gets some" or "save some for AB." (AB is usually late to the table... narcissism?) π₯
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Both AM (adoptive-mom) and AB (adoptive-bro) have (differing) narcissistic tendencies/leanings that are challenging to navigate. π₯
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When my spouse and our children spend time with my adopted brother (AB) and our adopter/adoptive mother (AM), there is a palatable tension that I previously didn't have language for. π₯
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I'd love to be added.
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Using the adoption trope to affirm Liz's life purpose as a *mother* to Brian & Charlie's trafficked baby (because same sex equality to inflicting trauma in the name of *family*) erased all the positives of season one. Yuck. π₯
#AdoptionIsTrauma
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Yes! 100% I love hanging around with three different variations of me & my spouse. It's comforting & heartbreaking all at once.
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No problem. Thank you for adding me. I love the feed. The impact of sharing the perspective of adoptees is huge. Thank you for advocating and creating space for us.
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Am I on the list for the feed, Tony? Much thanks, Tamara
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I'm only halfway through episode one. Respect (or disrespect?) to production choices - international adoptee narrator, ww vlogger in her flat brim hat crying about infertility through lip filler. A chef's kiss of exploitative documentary film making. π₯
#AbolishAdoption #AdoptionIsTrauma