lumpycarruthers.bsky.social
Pessimist, yet still very naive. Existing in a speck of blue surrounded by a sea of filth.
136 posts
43 followers
28 following
Active Commenter
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No worries, the families (those that still have members remaining, anyway) will be charged for the price of the bullets, plus interest (punitive damages). The pogroms will pay for their themselves.
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Domestically, any registered Democrat, for starters. Donors to NPR and the ACLU. Anyone not in full 100% goosestep.
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Most of Humpty Trumpty's brain had already been poached. The rest has been scrambled.
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My wife does a dead-on impersonation of Shelley Duvall singing "He's Large". She'll serenade me with it when I'm in a deeper funk than usual. I wish the lyrics were accurate, but it still feels nice.
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All three.
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I'd like to commission someone with skills (I have none) to make a video interspersing Carl E. Douglas saying "the spaghetti has been tainted" with that deranged (even by his standards) Louie Gohmert declaration that Eric Holder would not cast aspersions on his asparagus.
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The price of borscht was too damn high!
And don't - DO NOT - get me started on the blini!
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I refuse to believe that anything with Bill Camp in the cast is completely unwatchable, but, man, just too many more exciting options.
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I haven't heard the clip, and don't intend to because the sound of his voice triggers migraines, but I'm hearing "the fabled Fort Knox" delivered in the same way Nicholson said "the famous Doc Scanlan" on the fishing charter in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest".
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Why, DOGE, of course!
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Yes, extremely subtle way of reporting that, among Gen Z, e e cummings is Gucci.
/Oh, the OTHER part of the front page...
//Yes, I searched "current gen z slang for cool"
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And Joey Ramone continues to turn over in his grave...
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Oh, God, for some reason (no, I know the reason), this reminds me of our dearly departed, deeply-missed Rose, who would carry around a huge bone in her mouth AND LAY IT DOWN IN THE CAT'S LITTER BOX, like Archie Bunker resting his cigar down in an ashtray.
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In particular, I'd love to see centenarians screaming at Elon about taking away "the notch".
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When Andy Dick is a distant second-place as far as most problematic cast member....
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Donald the Dove
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Unfortunately, due to my job, I can tell you with certainty it is not a false alarm.
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For 30 years, I thought DLR was singing "etch-a-sketch" and then one day I on a whim I decided to look up the lyrics...
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This makes perfect sense when you remember that one of their guiding (lack of) principles is "more is always better".
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On deck: Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer, Vince McMahon, Mark Burnett and James Woods.
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The natural progression of eminent domain.
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"Wow, look at all those potential beachfront condos and hotels!"
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Tired - going back in time and killing Baby Hitler.
Wired - going back in time and killing Baby Ayn Rand.
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How long before Google Maps reflects this change? Why wait? May as well already go ahead and change Bhutan to Button and Nepal to Nipple so The Imperial Me can claim he didn't mispronounce their names in 2019 after all. Denmark becomes Donmark. Antarctica becomes Penguinland.
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Put Patrick Mahomes' turnovers on the blockchain.
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Five or six times a year, I'll find myself singing Jonathan Richman/Modern Lover's "Roadrunner", except I insert "ass pennies" for "Roadrunner".
I don't know how or why I'm allowed out in public.
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Moves ahead of Dan Marino on the list of championship-winning quarterbacks from Pittsburgh.
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Oh, absolutely. May Drake recover from being murdered at halftime before Mahomes, Andy "Father of the Year" Reid and this franchise recover from this formal fraud exposure.
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Without AI, I'd be wearing socks as mittens and using toothpaste as shampoo.
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Who will follow Fangio's footsteps and become the next Dolphin pariah to go elsewhere and become great/reclaim greatness?
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As of right now, Mahomes has been outscored 132-103 in Super Bowl play, with as many interceptions as touchdowns. As his favorite president would say, SAD!
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I mean, I assumed it wasn't a serious comment. I tend to check a user's post history if I'm really curious as to whether or not it was it's a case of the sarcasm/facetiousness going over my head...
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Or "rump bump".
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Waiting desperately for the Ten Minute Ticker!
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Oh, that'll probably happen whether or not they make such a request.
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From the same network that once thought this was an acceptable chyron:
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I remember watching it back in the early 1990s solely because (and I swear this is true) George Dzundza was in it. (That was me, the world's youngest and perhaps only George Dzundza stan.) Wound up going on my list of unknown/underappreciated films that I'd harangue everyone around me into watching.
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I keep thinking of Gus Hedges from "Drop the Dead Donkey", a man incapable of uttering one sentence that wasn't corporate newspeak. May be time to give that one a rewatch....
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I'm sorry regarding your in-laws, but in my experience, that's been more the exception than the rule.
There isn't a group out there that is 100% devoid of assholes.
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I was being facetious. I apologize if it did not come across that way.
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This reminded me of Dr. Laura Schlesinger using the n-word three times in a row in the same rhythm, almost the same tone. I have both of these stuck in my head, on endless loop. Fantastic. I may need to put on Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and hope that does the trick.
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Lutheran Family Services = Marty Byrde.
Joel Osteen = Franciscan monk.
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Yup. Lutherans are ACTUAL Christians. The actual "love thy neighbor" instead of the "report on thy neighbor" type. For this day and age, the wrong type.
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You can never go wrong with your fanbase when you just play the hits over and over and over again.
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Double-secret ban!
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Also: I'm assuming, perhaps erroneously, that Flame from "Slade in Flame" wouldn't count since it was the members of Slade playing their not-really-that-fictional selves in Flame, but it's still a really good film and Slade in any form must have been incredible to see live.
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Runner-up, because I don't follow rules, because what even ARE rules anymore?
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