mattietastic.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

they’re called hooves, dummy🙄

submitted 555 days ago • 29 comments

Costco and Trader Joes are yin and yang. Together they form a harmonious balance. One sells big piles of normal food, the other sells small piles of weird food. These are the two food piles people need

submitted 1 day ago • 115 comments

[Trump and Musk dragging themselves out of Fort Knox, gold bars stuffed into every inch of their clothing and falling out of their pockets] As predicted, there is no gold here. We have saved you 400 trillion dollars.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

“Once it would have been a year’s worth of news. But news right now is like a flock of speeded-up sheep running off the side of a cliff.” -Ali Smith / Autumn

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

The good news is i saved you 60 billion dollars. The bad news is that is a typo i saved you 600 dollars and also your plane is falling out of the sky

submitted 2 days ago • 211 comments

IT IS GLORY TO BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES BUT TO ALSO BATHE IN THE SHOWER.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master!

submitted 3 days ago • 15 comments

We willnae be fooled again! (What a weird day to have finished reading I Shall Wear Midnight!)

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.

submitted 4 days ago • 609 comments

democrats won’t admit it, but my family’s economic outlook has gotten a LOT better since Trump took office. but what do i know? i don’t have a fancy economics degree, i’m just a regular guy who runs an airplane scrapyard

submitted 4 days ago • 452 comments

(lying down horizontally) Oh jesus god this fucking rules. God damn. God damn this is so fucking good

submitted 547 days ago • 7 comments

submitted 5 days ago • 62 comments

let me strongly recommend the flu shot to whoever hasn't gotten one for this season. i just had a terrible bout with the flu that almost certainly would have been WAY worse had i not been vaccinated

submitted 5 days ago • 1283 comments

Reminder that you do not have to eat all the world’s sin. You need not—cannot possibly—bear witness to all the pain on the planet. Just be compassionate with the pain that you do bear witness to. There’s enough of it without constantly seeking it out.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

Here is the pre-RFK vaccination schedule for your kids. Please download it before he is confirmed and changes/deletes it. Give it to your pediatrician and say this is the schedule you want your kids on. Making this my pinned post.

submitted 18 days ago • 94 comments

So much for free speech. Let's make this cartoon by @mluckovich.bsky.social go viral. I'm married to @tealcartoons.bsky.social so I might be biased, but cartoons have long played a vital role in shaping political debate - both past and present. This type of censorship is deeply troubling.

submitted 6 days ago • 23 comments

TYPES OF MIST • strange • foreboding • turns you into toad (briefly) • turns you into toad (forever) • accompanies cape-flourishing count who arrives by carriage from distant land • low sodium

submitted 7 days ago • 9 comments

What these nihilistic vandals are doing to dismantle science & medicine—generations of expertise & public service & life improving benefits—is cultural revolution level national self harm. No foreign foe could inflict such brutal damage & senseless suffering on US so fast & effectively & unresisted.

submitted 7 days ago • 510 comments

current mood: things are going to get worse before they get worse

submitted 9 days ago • 25 comments

Block anyone posting about the LGB or LGBQ+ community. This is an active effort to erase trans people. There is no Pride without trans people. Specifically trans people of colour. Dropping the T is bootlicking. It's throwing them under the bus and waiting happily to be next.

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

"Hey, did you finish those malaria-awareness posters yet?" "Sir, yes sir! Real fuckin' sexy, just like you wanted, sir!"

submitted 379 days ago • 32 comments

i was out at a bar awhile back and the bartender asked if i grew up catholic, and i did. i asked him how he knew and he said “only people that grew up catholic lean forward at a bar, you carry too much trauma” and that’s lived in my head rent free ever since lmfao

submitted 8 days ago • 92 comments

looking back, AOL had it right. 30 hours of internet per month was the right amount.

submitted 9 days ago • 212 comments

another iOS update, another manual toggling off of Apple Intelligence

submitted 8 days ago • 32 comments

imma keep it real w u chief,, a meteor crashing into earth sounds pretty tight rn

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

Finding this very soothing rn. If I can't be a tardigrade on the moon, I can vicariously skate in wintry majesty.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments