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mattybarbs.bsky.social
27 posts 73 followers 51 following
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The Coastal Elites with their young crustal accretions will never understand the power and strength of the ancient Midwestern craton. We lived through eons before you were even sutured to the continental margin. You are drifters. We are unmoving.

This is what peak beverage performance looks like

Anyway, happy Easter.

RANKING LITERALLY EVERY PROPHET IN THE BIBLE BY HOW GOOD OF A POSTER THEY WOULD BE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER NO I AM NOT KIDDING (1/69)

Idk who needs to hear this, but if you are a man with a bad personality, do NOT compound the situation by going to law school

Gotham City gotta be nuts because why were 80% of the villains created by LOOSE ACID? You don’t need Batman, YOU NEED OSHA.

Hamburger Helper only “helps” a hamburger meet its doom… some friend

The Illinois Flag Commission recently named its 10 finalists for the state's flag redesign competition. The released designs were... mixed in quality. After @milesmacclure.bsky.social FOIAd to release all the submissions, I found many great designs that didn't make the cut. A thread of favorites:

Tourist Impressed By Size Of Chicago Residents theonion.com/tourist-impr...

I have gone through all 4838 Illinois Flag Commission design submissions that were released to @milesmacclure.bsky.social via FOIA so that you don't have to wade through countless Abe Lincoln silhouettes, bald eagles, and "LAND OF TAXES" grievance flags to find the funny ones. Thread starts here.

You can lead a horse to water, but it will not be super impressed. Horses know about water

Republicans should never win in IL again simply for privatizing and closing down all the emissions testing sites