Tourist Impressed By Size Of Chicago Residents theonion.com/tourist-impr... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 140 days ago

Tourist Impressed By Size Of Chicago Residents
https://theonion.com/tourist-impressed-by-size-of-chicago-residents/

Comments

hauntedpumpkin.bsky.social•140 days ago

Yeah, they sure are small.

zdroberts.bsky.social•140 days ago

@aaroncynic.bsky.social is actually 17 feet tall.

aaroncynic.bsky.social•140 days ago

It's true. I am also "far more shabby and outdated than expected."

zdroberts.bsky.social•140 days ago

At least you have a very large shiny metallic bean.

treziok.bsky.social•140 days ago

If they turned sideways, the streetlights would turn on.

44scoot30m.bsky.social•140 days ago

Is that the bean

meepk.bsky.social•140 days ago

They are just as afraid of you as you are of them. They will bite you in half and suck out all your guts though. That part is real.

jeffinblue.bsky.social•140 days ago

It’s not really deep dish relatively speaking

johnnycurl.bsky.social•139 days ago

You always see them next to a bean, and they look so tiny!

radiotsar.bsky.social•140 days ago

See what happens when you eat Italian beef and pizza then wash it all down with a "Chicago Handshake"?

zecretzquirrel.bsky.social•140 days ago

That's how you are able to do the "Chicago Sunroof".

bikepathrickross.bsky.social•140 days ago

Seymour Sears at your Service.

minkab.bsky.social•140 days ago

😂🤣

brooklyndian.bsky.social•140 days ago

pacific-electric.bsky.social•139 days ago

The windy city is just the giants who inhabit Chicago passing gas

veganleftist.bsky.social•140 days ago

I'm 6'5" and built like a wardrobe cabinmate. Are Chicagoans bigger?

ccbs1234.bsky.social•140 days ago

East Coast 5’11” is a Chicago 6’3”.

jirsch.bsky.social•140 days ago

Flip it

dlhf.bsky.social•140 days ago

If you're shocked by the size of Chicagoans, wait till you see the size of their metallic clitorides.

anxootero.bsky.social•140 days ago

Been there

heramopr77.bsky.social•140 days ago

jessiejaws.bsky.social•140 days ago

Wow, so that's what Hobbits look like!

plipplopmcbadaz.bsky.social•140 days ago

kingikea.bsky.social•140 days ago

why don’t people understand that the bean is to scale for locals

rosiewayffux.bsky.social•140 days ago

are they eating manure or fertilizers😂

harrypujols.com•140 days ago

The width, not the height.

muinteoir.bsky.social•140 days ago

That’s why everyone calls them Chicagoliaths.

sgt-musty.bsky.social•140 days ago

Hahahah #scrabble

fidoly.bsky.social•139 days ago

Those certainly are some big shoulders...

wasteofspace2334.bsky.social•139 days ago

I’m not gonna lie totally misread what they meant by size

hengymrohebwlad.bsky.social•140 days ago

From Granta magazine in 1983: "They Tell Me You Are Big" by Todd McEwen

https://granta.com/They-tell-me-you-are-Big/

abecedarian.bsky.social•140 days ago

Broad shoulders indeed!

runtripfall69.bsky.social•140 days ago

As someone from the Chicago area, the Super Fans will always be one of the funnier SNL skits despite mocking us.

chuckcowdery.bsky.social•140 days ago

I am large. I contain multitudes.

ivytalkington.bsky.social•139 days ago

Haha, I love that! We all have our layers, right? 😄 What’s been the highlight of your holidays so far?

mickelob2u.bsky.social•140 days ago

stompybobo.bsky.social•140 days ago

My, what broad shoulders you have!

aphrodytegal.bsky.social•139 days ago

wrong direction of size

altiam.bsky.social•139 days ago

Is this the dawn of a new era for mankind?

thegiez.bsky.social•140 days ago

This is what happens when absurdity doesn't at all translate to humor.

piyoinstitute.bsky.social•139 days ago

And that's just the Area Man's appendage's shadow..

nargacugaballs.bsky.social•140 days ago

@coffee.cobra.monster literally you

expatrob462.bsky.social•140 days ago

I'm not tall. 5'11, so like average height.

But I'm not normally considered "short."

But I lived in the Netherlands for two years, and the Dutch are intimidatingly tall.

It's weird being the smallest person on a train or in a bar.

clywrig.bsky.social•138 days ago

I know you're right, as evidenced by the way my 6'-5" self feels when I happen upon a VERY tall person.

adadadumbdumb.bsky.social•140 days ago

It's not that weird. It's just what women deal with a lot of the time.

searchit.page•140 days ago

Yeah, I'm 5'8 so just a little below average, but I lived in South Dakota for a while, and a large proportion of the SD population is Dutch, so I felt extremely short there. I knew very few men that weren't over 6' tall.

expatrob462.bsky.social•140 days ago

It's weird, right?

I have a sister who is like 5'4

And it's like "now I get how you feel..."

shanesnover.com•140 days ago

At 6' I was nearly short enough to need to stand on tip toes to use a urinal in some places there.

hogmentality.bsky.social•140 days ago

Don’t worry a Chicago 5’11” is a New York 6’5”

expatrob462.bsky.social•140 days ago

The flip to this is I went from being the smallest guy in Holland, to being a massive giant most places in Hyderabad.

Just towering over most people.