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mermaidwrath.bsky.social
Mermaid only ever on dry land by need. If I could get cake in the pool, I would be there now. She/her Single mother who probably still gets more sex than elongated muskrats.
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Bc Middle Child is a fuddy duddy of the highest order and bc I am amused by that, I went on a whole tirade of things that I knew would make her go OH MY and nothing could please me more.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

One of the "advice" columns had some woman who admitted that she had children very young so that she could then be a younger grandma but jokes on her- her kids don't seem to want to have kids at all! Ever! Ha, ha. Your kids don't owe you kids so you can be the grandma you always dreamed of!

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Wait. Shefit has bras for little kids? What in the world?

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Fucking up my search history (already a glorious mess, thanks) by entering the terms "little kids bras" Oh dear. Oh my. Well. Poop.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Once I get a size, I am buying that kid some smashing lovely bras and maybe taking her for ice cream or some shit too bc fuck The Others, that's why.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Ah, yes Tuesday when I still felt like a human person but still managed to look a young man dead in the face down to the Walmart and say "hey, could you grab my hooters for me?" why is that hooters breading on the top shelf? whyyyy???? Sorry young man. Truly.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

It's childish but I would pay in blood to watch someone like AOC respond to either #stompyfoot or sideshow vance in a sing song, fed up with your toddler antics voice saying shit like "Oh no! We use our words when we want something!" Or, "good boy! We used our words to voice our goofy ass opinion!"

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

HOLD ON A DING DANGED SECOND. The Others pulled an oval office press conference on my gidget bc she made an 8 year old type mistake so they literally told her that she cannot come over for a month AND they are not paying for the little bras they had picked out either. FUCK YOU, OTHERS.

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

What makes me so sad is hearing my child relate that she fears doing some of her very favorite things bc she could up in a wheelchair and there I will be 233 years old, lifting weights and dressing like a color blind toddler.

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

Me to Middle Child: Oh hey. On that topic, I want to be strapped to the paddle board, nekkid and barefoot with a bottle of tequila and then shoved down the creek. MC: That creek? You won't end up anywhere good. Me: I will be dead, doofus. Imagining the reactions of ppl is giving me some fun.

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Middle Child in the midst of a sentence about something mundane: Mom? Sometimes I worry about whether or not they put those stupid shoes on dad before they buried him. You know he would have hated that.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

In light of the "english/official language" bullshit, I fear my obstinate brain is going to have to start lapsing into mangled hungarian and poorly recalled italian. Or pig latin. I could probably do that, no prob.

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

I love that my circle of people messaged me to say "Bitch, if you're lounging in your temu massage chair and drinking margs I will hunt you down. Miss your face, love you, feel better"

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Do people really call off work and not face overwhelming, stomach churning levels of guilt? Do they do that? How do they do that? Can they teach this skill?

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Oh dog. If I manage to pull it together enough to go to work tomorrow, I get to be there for the concert filled with songs our kids just really do not know very well PLUS ukeleles! What a dang treat!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

the worst migraine I ever had in my life was on a thanksgiving day and given the symptoms it should have been treated as possibly meningitis. (Obvs. it was not but still) The longest migraine was 6 days. I thought it was gone on day 4 but it was an hour of calm and then right back to it.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

On one hand, I know that trying to drag myself to work with multiple issues would have been bad. On the other, calling off TWO days in a row increasing the risk of the angry spirit of my dad showing up to sigh loudly in disappointment. Buzz off, Casper-dad, I don't think that calling off is BAD!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

That goat HATES that wheelbarrow with all of his goaty little soul. I mean HATES HATES it. Or he loves it and is just not mounting it right. Either way, that wheelbarrow is in for something.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Apparently if you let a goat be a free range goat for much of the day they may or may not be agreeable to the concept of "time for your pen, now" no matter how sweetly you say it nor how loudly you clap your hands. Also clapping your hands at a goat will make him rear up and get ready for the fight

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

the light from the office window is kind of killing me but i can't seem to look away from the new comedy series "leia doesn't understand the nature of goats" This thing has stolen what might have been her phone, head butted her and now is chasing the smaller of the 2 boys around. I smell a hit

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

not even exaggerating when i say i can hear every individual hair on my head growing at this very second. whee! bell's palsy is super FUN!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Days like this has me pricing basic coffins- one that I can climb into and wait out the misery and man, it would make me happy on so many levels- my teen gothy heart would flip it would keep the light from stabbing me in the face i would not have to deal with the duck ass in this house.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

called off today bc I have a migraine which in and of itself is reason enough HOWEVER I also have super sonic hearing again and every bird, truck, train and helicopter has been buzzing about so that's fun.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

WAIT. The best part about that student's IEP meeting? Her grandpa could only remember 1 person's name and by the time he had already managed to get 3 names wrong he just pointed and referred to our principal by her title.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

1 of our students SCREAMS at the top of his lungs from the moment he arrives until he leaves. There is not a single person or tactic that helps his behavior. His para is at the end of her rope but also, the teacher in that room is kind of fed up with the para so she might be looking to make a change

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine it is 5 am. Your evil rectangle goes DOODLE DOODLE and you freak out. You manage to force your eyes to read "do you want to go to a hockey game" and man, I love her, I do, but for a second there I truly considered jogging around the block to slap hell out of my own baby child.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Thing that is upcoming: Wrath runs the show in our classroom for nearly the entire day. That's right. Thanks to some changes in the rules, I will be running the class from 11 am to 2 pm and won't that be a super fun thing for me to be doing?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

You know, if you are going to rudely stare at me and then finally sigh and ask why I have on an eyepatch I am going to give you an absolute bullshit answer and let you sort your shit out on your own.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Today we learned that during student's IEP (her entire family are teachers/former teachers) mom revealed that student is NOT a huge fan of asshole which may possibly mean that ahole gets moved out of our room sooner rather than later. Words uses included "bossy" "mean" "bully". We also learned that

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Oh no, not admin pulling a big ol' okey doke about the 2 teacher positions they could NOT fill last year. They have been talking out of both sides of their face and now the union is about to play a game with them. Shit's messy. Super messy shit.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

A coworker is in the very early stage of divorcing her husband but only 2 of us know this right now bc she said if asshole were to give her that fake sympathy/or say something out of pocket she would snap or cry and my dudes? If asshole makes that woman cry I will lose all my shit.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Wild Child reaching over and pulling a hangnail off of me was like # 3 or 4 on the list of weird shit she did today. That list included: Trying to search my hands for additional hang nails Being mad that I had a bandaid on my thumb bc of the pulled hangnail Trying to either lick my finger OR

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

The best visit from Big Foot apparently is 1 in which she gets high AF before she arrives, eats most of my candy including that dog awful strawberry creme heart, naps in my bed, buys me a sub and then goes home.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

One of the kids sat in K's chair so K said GREAT! I don't have to do my work anymore bc YOU are in my chair so YOU have to do it! And then started listing shit she needed to do until the kiddo said HEY! WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GUYS! and scurried her self back over to the bean bag where she belonged.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

K: I'm just going to go and slip it in her little box Me: SNORT J: mildly snorting. K: Tries to glare, fails. Laughs Me: If you had not said "little" I might have been able to keep it together. J: UM NO. Me: Well, I wouldn't have laughed as hard.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Full disclosure here: I literally typed "balls fisted up" and then laughed far too hard and fixed it.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Sincerely thought it was a person of some decent size and whipped around, fists balled up and aimin' high. Nope. Mr. Bari Tone the cat.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

A new not my cat came up behind me and meowed and when I say this cat could have broke into Old Man River and not shocked me anymore than that first deep MEOW.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Guy next door said the ppl around the way have had some of their cattle harassed by a coyote or a dog and these ppl literally came to ask him if his dogs were out. He said no and then they said what about her. This is when Kicsi waddled out to the fence and awoo'd a super friendly awoo and the guy

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment