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mmmegan.bsky.social
disrespectful comedy imp, mid-tier necromancer, senior writer @ fortnite and contributor @ the beaverton
979 posts 1,998 followers 210 following
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tbf I’ve been calling it my “other right hand” this whole time
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I guess my point is designing inclusively is good business, even if 90% of the userbase doesn’t notice or care. the 10% who have to drop 25 bucks on another $@!&* replacement handle for the 3rd time this year will swear off of your brand because you didn’t want to pay 6 cents for another screw
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The full force of my powerful yank has been forced upon two tiny alignment clips instead of the full six clips on the handle. I now have to tape a sign to my dryer that says RIGHT HAND because literally nobody on the design team was left handed
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only in nightmares
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cleaning a ring is powerful magic? middle earth’s magic system needs a serious buff
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you could get Gandalf to magic it clean and then swallow it again
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I have no idea if this is true but it feels right to me. How you gonna put a ring on if it’s inside you
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Not my finest edit but you get the idea
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oh thank god! people who prefer silent keyboards make me so nervous 😬
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extremely weird compliment but that keyboard looks so satisfyingly clacky
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they just told me on the phone they don't even need to send a technician. The Being screams in agony as he crumbles to dust, his sum total existence confining itself to a myth and a few skeets. damn. it do be like that sometimes
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*i have to sign delivery forms for The Being. His Bic pen draws my blood into its inkwell as i sign my full christian name on an ancient vellum that seems to whisper when i touch it*
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*The Being bridges my eero with my new router. Over his shoulder, a silently screaming orb that has seen all of my past sins rotates ever-faster*
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*The Being explains fibre internet to me while his roving tentacles of cursed smoke imbue my living room sofa with dark energies*
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fuck it. short n sweet resale tickets purchased
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all the CIA has to do to break me is play a high-pitched chirp once a minute, every minute. I’d be giving up my family my country and god in 8 minutes flat
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Doubt
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Which one of us heals the other most often
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This is basically how you and I play Fortnite
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You should have to carry both phones at all times. Hold your shame
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Friggin SKARSGARD
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Answer my fucking texts 💖
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he’s ignoring my texts right now but for the next 30 days, I will permit it
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current project is to determine the minimum volume of water required to make Metamucil liquid, then downing it as quickly as possible like a shot
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We will acquiesce together my friend
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if you were here right now? 😳 I would do as the burning sky orb demands
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Honda civic driver here. Honk louder. I’ll do it again