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momsoverhere.bsky.social
Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Check out my children's book “We Only Color on Paper!” and find me on Twitter @notmythirdrodeo or IG @momsoverhere Only my posts- bit.ly/momsoverhere
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Posts 41 Comments 9

Are you bored tonight? Send your five accomplishments, maybe your shopping list, or your five thoughts on Elon from the past week to OPM at [email protected].

submitted 1 day ago • 975 comments

I wish my husband, hell anyone, would tell me when I’m wearing a sports bra and a pad is going full taco and I obviously have no idea.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

[second week of being able to talk to animals] omg you like food I get it

submitted 529 days ago • 7 comments

Looking back on it, I totally messed up our baby registry. Instead of bottles and sheets, we should have registered for a laundromat and a full time nanny

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

kenny loggins is probably very popular with lumberjacks

submitted 3 days ago • 9 comments

instead of “threepeat,” let’s say “winage a trois”

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

“U Can’t Touch This” is my favorite song about intangible personal property.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

me: *holds up drawing* is this the guy? witness: that looks nothing like him me: *furiously shaking Etch-a-Sketch* YOU DO IT THEN

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

eBay sounds like it was invented by dolphins.

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

“your kid is going to be a lawyer” = your kid is an asshole

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

You don't get to criticize my life choices. You're not my fitness watch.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

BLUESKY POLL: __ Give me your heart __ Make it real __ Or else (forget about it)

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

what if just once my bed went to me

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

The US needs a return policy, where we have 90 days after inauguration to send the president back for one that isn't broken

submitted 2 days ago • 10 comments

This is less of a coffee house and more of a coughing house.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

my dogs probably think i'm an idiot for only sleeping once a day

submitted 2 days ago • 15 comments

Me: How did I miss the turn?! 5: By not turning

submitted 2 days ago • 5 comments

it seems as if every day science takes another giant leap forward

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

[pinocchio voice] I’m a real boy

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

Square dancing in elementary school really had me expecting more hoedowns as an adult

submitted 2 days ago • 15 comments

being afraid to look at the market is just peek capitalism

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Outraged that the “no makeup look” involves makeup

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

And now my spoken-word rendition of the theme song from Fraggle Rock…

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

Getting older means growing hair in weird places. Like, just last week, I spontaneously sprouted mutton chops at a truck stop in Des Moines.

submitted 1 day ago • 15 comments

I would pay good money to participate in this zoom call

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The Hunger Games nightly display of who didn’t make it > the email bounce back from the coworker who is suddenly no longer at work

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

I saw an ad for a “small, portable label maker. Great for travel!” and I want to know which of you are taking your label maker traveling with you?

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

Old men love telling people what “that building used to be”

submitted 8 days ago • 57 comments

Pardon my cynicism, but I have a hard time believing the chocolate bars Cheryl from accounting is selling from a box for her kid's pee-wee football team are the "world's finest".

submitted 7 days ago • 69 comments

Why would you even show up to a gun fight i know i wouldn't

submitted 11 days ago • 10 comments

If you spend more than two hours in any Waffle House, you run the real risk of being permanently stuck to the seat.

submitted 10 days ago • 9 comments

I used to mix metaphors but that ship has flown.

submitted 10 days ago • 52 comments

me: (running from hippo) it's a hippo! a few other people: (now running too) oh shit me: (running faster now) it's wearing a jean jacket! a whole bunch of other people: (running super fast) OH SHIT

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s another brilliant performance by Daniel Day-Lewis

submitted 8 days ago • 36 comments

*heading out with friends* Me: I'll try to be back earlyish. Wife: Why? Once the kids are in bed, I don't need you anymore. Me: Wow. Wife: Just don’t die, and give me enough time to watch a movie. Me: Wife: (closing door) Love you!

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Me: (hearing a phone alarm) Someone has some phone reminder going off, and I don't know where My Oldest Kid: Sorry! That's mine! I have a daily reminder not to punch my brother Me: uh, ok, whatever works I guess... Oldest Kid: it doesn't always work... Me: Wut?

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

why yes, I am a philanthropist* *leaves the quarter when I return my cart at Aldi

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Need to change the fridge water filter, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

Instead of birth years, I wish they’d put: “old”, “older”, and “old as fuck” on websites, for anyone over 30, it’d take a lot less scrolling

submitted 9 days ago • 6 comments

No one has ever suspected I had a bomb in my carryon but once I did have a banana in my purse and the TSA agent asked me if it was a dildo with a huge smile on her face and I think that's the most fun you can have going through security

submitted 6 days ago • 34 comments

My toddler asked mommy to play with her because she says “daddy is broken”

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments