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ripbobby.bsky.social
3 posts 164 followers 139 following
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Posts 13 Comments 3

Honey please stop looking over at me everytime we're watching a show where a middle aged man is struggling with his father's emotional withholding

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

[first day as a vet] me: what's wrong? cat: meow me: yes, but where?

submitted 15 days ago • 12 comments

bless me father for there are people in my replies who genuinely think i’m sitting around eating sticks of butter and not just making stupid jokes on a free site populated by nerds

submitted 33 days ago • 25 comments

Guys like joe rogan are funny because they still think smoking weed that they buy legally from places that look like an apple store makes them hunter s thompson

submitted 34 days ago • 312 comments

Me: are you hitting on me? Employee: sir I'm just putting bacon on your cheeseburger Me: *starts undressing*

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza HER: so you’re not going to share ME: I am not going to share

submitted 38 days ago • 28 comments

Me: *chopping onions* Wife: Are you crying? Me: I used to have a pet onion when I was a kid

submitted 41 days ago • 10 comments

Companies just a few months ago: A diverse workforce makes us more creative, gives us different perspectives, and ultimately serves our business and clients Companies today: Sike!

submitted 41 days ago • 5 comments

I used to work at Subway and when someone would ask to speak to the manager, I’d just go in the back and eat slices of turkey until they left.

submitted 41 days ago • 166 comments

ME: [donates body to science] SCIENCE: [donates me to goodwill]

submitted 43 days ago • 21 comments

My boss asked if I was planning to do any actual work today, as if my internet posts don’t count as important contributions to society.

submitted 43 days ago • 32 comments

American teens are flocking to a new video app

submitted 44 days ago • 617 comments

I break into nursing homes at night to eat Jello with my hands like a rat.

submitted 43 days ago • 50 comments