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samf.bsky.social
gluten enthusiast
237 posts 264 followers 182 following
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Posts 35 Comments 15

jokes on you, i actually wanted my 401k to get wiped out. just gonna make me have to grind harder 😤😤😤

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

wife’s employer messed up her withholdings last year so now we have to write a giant check to this stupid ass dumb ass government

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

chuck schumer retire bitch

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

i want to live in the 2008 radiohead in rainbows live from the basement set forever

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

55% CANADA 55% FRANCE 55% MEXICO 55% PERU 55% GERMANY 55% SPAIN

submitted 2 days ago • 63 comments

someone’s gotta do it already

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

wake up and smell the cum trees

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

check out this bad boy

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

i think we gotta just write this whole century off, someone wake me up in 2100

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

brioche

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

teaching my beautiful daughters Oakley, Oaklee, Oakleigh, and Oaklynn that Trump is God-Emperor

submitted 10 days ago • 84 comments

This predates Threads but I still feel like it’s the greatest Threads post of all time

submitted 134 days ago • 179 comments

this is my daughter, The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I'm going to write a spy film set in Trump's America. Alerting the president that "Phoenix is missing and we do not have eyes" and he starts blinking real fast and says, "we don't know, that could maybe be good, maybe it could be very bad. But they never say good about me. On TV, they only say bad."

submitted 10 days ago • 34 comments

Madonna and Child, artist unknown (National Museum in Warsaw), 1800-1850

submitted 11 days ago • 12 comments

“being added to this national security group chat got me thinking about how i wasn’t able to secure our relationship. they were sending war plans and i should have gone to war to save us”

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

dreading the day when i will have to have tell my children about Party Rock Anthem

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

today is a great day for 5-7 specific people to be **** ** *** ****

submitted 44 days ago • 2 comments

if elon really believes that all his projects are being undercut by the dastardly george soros, that's mostly just really embarrassing for elon imo. a 98 y/o man with 1/100th of your financial resources is lapping you? and you're telling ppl abt this, in public? embarrassing!

submitted 14 days ago • 35 comments

i was not expecting this to work as well as it did

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

MDR dancing to hella good by no doubt

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

a little league end-of-season party institution

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

lmao

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

alright now what the blazers are gonna want to do here is try to win the game

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

more like karl anthony clowns tbh

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

cuck schumer

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

making caramelized onions is great for when you want to take five gallons of something and turn it into two tablespoons of something

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

whomstever engineered this current breed of jalapeños thats been in every grocery store for the last couple years and has literally zero spice deserves a swift kick in the taint

submitted 28 days ago • 2 comments

what if i told you i was forklift certified

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

congrats to university administration who both sold out their students and lost $400M. A+ work.

submitted 28 days ago • 9 comments

manifesting

submitted 31 days ago • 179 comments

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

so they’re definitely gonna sell these for pennies on the dollar and then the real estate barons will lease them back to the government at a huge markup they’ve turned the government into red lobster

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment