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sexylocalsingles.bsky.social
Christ died on the cross so I could post here
321 posts 62 followers 193 following
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bunch of employees who work at the government facility where they keep ET wet freaking out because they need five things for the email but all they did last week was spray water on ET

submitted 4 days ago • 70 comments

#NoContextValentines

submitted 14 days ago • 25 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

writing a horror movie about a nightmare that makes you scared

submitted 15 days ago • 4 comments

have you???

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

Shared this with my friends last night. Am I an idiot? Does this make sense to anyone

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Andor is Star Wars' answer to Deep Space Nine

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

The last Tiktok I saw was of Ash saying goodbye to his Butterfree

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

One thing I noticed about Rednote is that Chinese creators don't seem to post about interpersonal beefs the way western creators do

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

imagine having sex with Data. he’s like “is this adequate stimulation for you to achieve human climax” holy shit. yowie zowie

submitted 43 days ago • 24 comments

my old boss died yesterday, but not by my hand

submitted 52 days ago • 4 comments

Me: when you nut but she keep sucking Bsky guy: you know what sucks? Gerrymandering

submitted 51 days ago • 22 comments

Generating prompt after prompt about how to prevent wildfires and causing way more wildfires

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

“You know how sometimes you finally break through a colon blockage, and it’s like the floodgates just open?” “I asked if anyone saw a reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony,” the priest says. “These two?” I ask, squinting. “Don’t know ‘em.”

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

Bread and milk just hate to see me coming

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

SO to all the guys who wouldn't last 3 seconds in her pussy

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Wouldn't it be so relatable and funny if I made a post about going to bed at 9:00 and how much I hate fireworks

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

I regret to inform you I hand an alcohol

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Driving extra fast tonight so the cops don’t think I’m drunk and driving slow to be low key

submitted 59 days ago • 2 comments

ngl, kinda missing how chaotic, unhinged, dangerous and fun it was to tweet while under the influence at the other place, bsky sometimes feels like a country club with the same shitass cliques and rules, like someone about to drop a monocle in their tea cup

submitted 62 days ago • 31 comments

STEM is so cool. Science is amazing. Kids should develop curiosity about how the universe works and proficiency in uncovering its secrets, so that they can most effectively optimize clickthrough rates on banner ads at the bottom of VC-funded website-apps.

submitted 64 days ago • 32 comments

These lonely Ferengi are just BEGGING for Oo-Mox with you

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

My dad died walking in a winter wonderland you son of a bitch

submitted 65 days ago • 6 comments

Three spirits visit me every Christmas Eve but all they do is dap me up

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

I love Christmas time because we were all gathered as a family watching The Santa Clause and my little sister reminded me that our mom used to hate Tim Allen passionately because she believed that in a past life he was a huge ram and she was an old fisherman and he trampled her and her baby to death

submitted 67 days ago • 41 comments

NOT GUILTY

submitted 69 days ago • 31 comments

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — A judge says Missouri’s abortion ban isn't enforceable under new amendment, ensuring legal abortions in the state.

submitted 70 days ago • 129 comments

Indiana Jones has a little Easter egg for us goons!

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

I had a dream where I coined the phrase "there's no juice in that orange".

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

finally got a watch i like and the lifestyle is honestly crazy. im just checking the time constantly. it’s 1:08pm for instance

submitted 81 days ago • 52 comments

What’s your favorite song about girls just wanting to have fun

submitted 80 days ago • 227 comments

NYPD is reporting that the CEO killer is... the hawk tuah girl?? It sounds farfetched, but my nephew just showed me. He showed it to me on his phone. My heart is racing. That's two things I've both heard about, put together. What will I hear about next.

submitted 86 days ago • 7 comments

Man, I remember January. You couldn't get me to shut up about smooth microtonal neo-psychedelic

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

It's an insult to my intelligence when an actor appears in multiple movies. You were just an elf and now I'm supposed to believe you're an accountant? I will not be played for a fool

submitted 91 days ago • 341 comments

I saw Stellaris on Xbox. I'm interested, but is it as overwhelming as say Crusader Kings 3?

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 100 days ago • 4 comments

Is Bluesky a good place to share a photo of my promotional frisbee for the 1992 film the Crying Game?

submitted 100 days ago • 36 comments

The great boom forward

submitted 100 days ago • 3 comments

hey. dont let the haters pull the tip of your penis & then let go to see the cartoonish sound it makes. you got this.

submitted 99 days ago • 22 comments

found this months ago and have been dwelling on its implications ever since

submitted 100 days ago • 171 comments

Sorry I didn't riff on your riff, I was feeling jocular when I posted but despondent seventy seconds later

submitted 103 days ago • 24 comments

Me, Reading Dylan Thomas: Yes, haha! Don't go gently into that good night! Rage! Fight! Me, Experiencing The Slightest Physical Discomfort: Alright, gotta go gentle mode. Time to gentle up, for sure. Good night not lookin' so bad, think imma lean into it.

submitted 369 days ago • 11 comments

BREAKING: Richard Kind is PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive 2024!

submitted 108 days ago • 62 comments

Guys, don't you love it when you and the boys spend the night being afflicted with fell visions and portents

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

Happy 10th birthday to my 2nd book, which is I believe the first monograph ever specifically on found footage horror movies. I had intended to release an updated 10th anniversary edition but it sadly didn't happen because my god 2024 has been a YEAR mcfarlandbooks.com/product/foun...

submitted 109 days ago • 13 comments

Rationally I'm confident but anxiety meds can only go so far.

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

I'm voting in an elementary school. I'm hiding cigarettes around the building as a special treat for the kids

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

Rizzler is voting for Trump. Big Justice is solidly for Harris. AJ doesn't care for anything other than college football, but he'll vote for whoever his team's quarterback is voting for

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments