shadethemystic.bsky.social
Sarcastic sketch artist, amateur game dev, wannabe writer. 44 y/o, and someday I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Or I won't, I dunno, what am I, psychic?
36 posts
30 followers
24 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
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I'll be alone on this one, but I always liked when he solo'd the X-Cutioner in his first ongoing.
"How are you going to beat me?"
"Wit' gum."
*Ptoo!*
"BOOM!!*
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TBF, I'd be impressed if I sat down and saw Donald Trump pack away an entire buffet all by himself in only three hours, too.
Bill's talking about Donny's sideshow-esque ability to unhinge his jaw to swallow a Christmas ham whole, right?
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Hell, why stop at 2013? Why not go all the way back to 1800's? Maybe Joe has a time machine! Maybe Jack the Ripper was really Hunter! Who took the Lindburg baby? Hunter Biden! Who shot JFK? Hunter Biden! Who shot JR? Hunter Biden! Who let the dogs out? You see where this is going.
This f'ing moron.
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I'm gonna borrow this from you, Mr. Takei, if that's alright.
But, oh myyyyyy.
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Never said it was weed in the hookah. Listening to the, I'll be generous and quantify him as a "person", speak, I'd wager what he doses himself with to escape reality is the same stuff most people keep under the kitchen sink.
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Let's be honest here, if Lara Trump were known for, or capable of, making good decisions, she'd have a different last name.
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TBF, my ancestors GTFO'd their home country because a few short years prior, another country (you know the one,"FunnyMustachiostan") and royally fucked it all up.
I'da dipped out of a bombed-out warzone, too.
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What, was He out of locusts and killer angels?
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Okay, I think I see the problem here this whole time; guys, if we could stop interviewing him at the Mar-A-Lago opium den, that'd be great. He's just a heap of word-mush after he's sucked on a hookah for ninety minutes.
I mean, that has to be it, right?
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I only learned about this in my 40's, from the Watchmen tv show. I mean, American history isn't really a big thing up here, Canada and all that and we have our own skeletons in the closet that need reporting. But a city burned, airplanes bombed civilians on US soil, and not a peep. The fuck?
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If Trump declared that swinging a kettle weight into your nuts at Mach 5 was a smart idea, the next Jesse Waters show would only be audible to dogs.
It isn't about, 'good idea' or 'bad idea.' The only thing that matters is, is it a 'Trump' idea. Fucking pathetic.
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"Okay guys, sure, I'm a r*pist, a r*cist, a thug, a boor, a moron, an utter shitshow of a carbon-based organism; I hand out treats to my cronies and couldn't tell the truth if it owed me money. But...can't we all just get along?"
Fuck these clowns.
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I almost hope that he bursts into flames the instant he touches the Bible.
But then I'm an atheist veering dangerously into cynicism, and have long stopped believing in justice, either mortal or divine.
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For the Cult, those were all selling points.
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Wait, I've been seeing pics of him with the William Katt "Greatest American Hero" hair...is that a RECENT pic? I thought it was some embarrassing high school photo!
...Well shit...
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As a proud owner of at least one penis, I can safely say that 'the needs of men in relation to women's healthcare' is to stay the fuck out of it.
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So does the rest of the human race, so what else is new?
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Pity that where their headed, 'cold' is kind of a foreign concept.
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By feasting upon the joy and kidneys of children.
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Why is he wearing a corset on the inside of his skin?
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See, here's the thing: you hate abortion, and I will never change your mind on that. I'm pro-choice, and you will never change my mind on that. So...what are we even really doing here?
Also, "ooze masculinity?" I think there's an ointment for that.
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"Hey Jesus, what's that around your neck?"
"I'm not sure, but every time I try to remove it, a voice calls out, "SPOILER ALERT!" I hope it means something good."
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"He," brah. Not "she." Your side keeps saying there are only two genders, so you should have had a 50/50 chance of getting it right, and ya didn't.
Also, feel free to block me if you want. I'll try to contain my grief.
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1- This isn't a conversation, this is me ignoring Mark Twains admonition about debating an idiot.
2- Again with the tits. Freud would love to sit down with you, I bet.
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Congratulations, I am honestly at a loss for words. Don't take it as a win, it just means language hasn't yet caught up to the breakneck advancements in stupidity you've accomplished here.
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They're those people that cross the street when you make eye contact and nod at them like you have a chance.
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Ah, ableism. I was wondering which flavor of bigotry would be trotted out first, and you went with a classic. You must have been the Robin Williams of the playground back in the day, entertaining the other kids with your cutting wit.
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Nobody mentioned abortion. You mentioned dead babies. Babies die in a lot of ways. For all I know, you were referencing 60 million specific babies who all died in bizarre accidents involving industrial lubricant and pogo sticks. I'm not a mind reader, ffs.
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60 million dead babies don't think anything, chief. They're dead. And babies.