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shittyopinions.com
My job is sighing at the computer all day and my hobby is switching off the lights in vacant rooms. FLX, NY, USA, 🌎
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Posts 35 Comments 14

Walgreens sending Rx text messages from a third-party Google domain *email address* 100% does not look like a scam.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

When a women tells me her name, I always follow up with, "Oh, like the cheese?" no matter what her name is.

submitted 9 days ago • 27 comments

DR SEUSS: go dog go JAMES BOND: nice to meet you mister go

submitted 19 days ago • 4 comments

on borad

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

got my first workman’s comp check in the mail from when my balls touched the water in the employee bathroom

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Bamboo leaves shudder Idyllic autumn moment A fart ruins it

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

No mention of the benefits though 🤔

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

there’s something so enchantingly beautiful about one man saying “i’m going to throw this ball as hard as i can” and another guy with a bat saying “the fuck you are”

submitted 33 days ago • 14 comments

If you include this many acronyms after your name you sure as shit better be able to write a prescription.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

O Brother, Where Art Thou

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

sorry i missed your text are you still bombing yemen

submitted 39 days ago • 29 comments

Dey Turk Er Jerbs, or Why We Should Legalize Immigration ino.to/T60GZD9

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

We wanted to understand how Elon Musk will get humans to Mars within the next 15 years. So we talked to four unemployed steroid users at a White Castle in Toms River.

submitted 57 days ago • 33 comments

I had to re-read this subject line five times. VEG out, VEG.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: attention passengers is anyone here a doctor PASSENGERS: sorry no FLIGHT ATTENDANT: um ok well then is anyone here a pilot

submitted 75 days ago • 15 comments

Rolling around in poison oak just to feel something.

submitted 78 days ago • 1 comment

Two Things I Learned Today: 1. I can barbell squat my body weight 2. What an anal prolapse is

submitted 77 days ago • 14 comments

Sometimes I worry that I might not be very smart but then I find free sidewalk cheese and everything's ok again

submitted 77 days ago • 10 comments

A dozen crows just flew themselves into an oncoming truck on the thruway… It was a murder suicide.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

My kid just asked how much of his Valentines Day candy he could eat and I said “Make a good decision!” It’s not really strategy and more apathy, isn’t it?

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

Wish I remembered what this was from

submitted 78 days ago • 2 comments

The New Yorker updated their editorial standards and they're now writing "Gulf of Mexico" as "Gulf of Amærícä"

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

The New Yorker updated their editorial standards and they're now writing "Gulf of Mexico" as "Gulf of Amærícä"

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

a diarrhea medication called “peace of ass”

submitted 85 days ago • 34 comments

Lolita is a Spanish word meaning “small feminine laugh”

submitted 85 days ago • 3 comments

We’re so close to antisemitism being redefined as not supporting the construction of a Trump tower in Gaza

submitted 86 days ago • 16 comments

This is Dexter. He was as crazy as this photo looks. I used to bring a lacrosse stick and a rubber whistling ball to the dog park. Once Dexter decided he liked that ball he would "greet" me at the entrance and demand I throw it for him. Repeatedly. Pretty sure he still has my ball.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are going to do a somber half sieg heil in the rotunda in the name of bipartisanship

submitted 91 days ago • 3 comments

"Never walked in due to being paralyzed" is a hell of a way to sell a pair of shoes.

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

Didn't see it coming

submitted 93 days ago • 39 comments

Hey guys, whatcha doin'? Me? Oh, I've got the kid tonight.

submitted 94 days ago • 8 comments

🧐

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

I love eating wings because sometimes being gross is more important than being full

submitted 98 days ago • 9 comments

My 76-year-old mother just informed me that she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring. After some awkward questions, I said, "Gender reveal. You're going to a gender reveal."

submitted 98 days ago • 480 comments