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shookone828.bsky.social
Halfway Crook; Stuck off the realness.
80 posts 59 followers 207 following
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I can’t begin to imagine how many dates a blew by talking about my love of the UHF music video channel “The Box” and how they would constantly show Sir Mix-a-lots “Put em on the glass” and MC Hammer’s “Pumps and a bump” where he has a leopard speedo and his dick looks huge.

submitted 22 hours ago • 1 comment

I love a good “intro to wet shaving” article, but let’s cut the shit with the old timey preamble. “I remember Sundays at the corner barber shop, reading Archie comics and listening to the Brooklyn Dodgers game on the radio while my dad got a hot towel shave…”

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I’m not even gonna start talking about selecting a Pope until after combine.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Not saying we should glamorize drug use, but it’d be a lot cooler if we started referring to everything as THE FOOKIN GEAR, BRUV.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

I never thought of myself as a “drugs” guy, but in the summer of 2005 I was straight Requiem-For-A-Dreaming it. The whole time I had Prodigy’s “Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned” playing. I will always lament not having a better album to remind me of when I was addicted to drugs.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

“Wish in one hand, shit in the other.” Joke’s on you, ‘cause I wished for a handful of shit. #blessed

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

the funny thing about putting me in a starter pack is how likely I am to tell people to eat my shit and hair

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 27 days ago • 165 comments

I bought an aftershave called “lilac vegetal.” Fascinating stuff. It was developed in 1880 by Édouard Pinaud for the Hungarian horseback cavalry as a body splash. My wife describes it as having strong notes of “cat piss” and “I don’t care about Hungarian soldiers get the fuck away from me.”

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

As someone in marketing, I treat “Kony 2012” as my gold standard both professionally and personally. This guy comes out of nowhere like a hipster Dog the Bounty Hunter saying “I’m gonna catch a warlord!” And everyone in the western world is like “Fuck yeah you are! How exactly, though?”

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

Of all the things I absolutely despise about the rise of the thought leader hustle bros and the billionaires they aspire to be, it’s that they stripped us of the dignity that we deserve rest. fortune.com/2025/03/17/e...

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

I’m not even kidding a little: if you took the movie “Kraven,” mentioned nothing about the spider-verse or Marvel and retitled it “Big Buck Hunter: Origins,” it would have made a billion dollars domestically.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

It really bums me out that somewhere my Canadian degenerate alcoholic counterpart is staring at the bottom shelf of bourbon aisle, looking at a plastic pint of Kentucky Gentlemen listed at $25.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Me, reading the news every day

submitted 48 days ago • 10 comments

Gloria’s not wrong

submitted 49 days ago • 110 comments

Report: DOGE staffers energized by potential invasion of Canada because so many of their girlfriends live there.

submitted 49 days ago • 65 comments

Apparently “beaten by the fists of god” is not the appropriate response when asked how we’re all feeling this Monday morning.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

does anyone else smell toast

submitted 54 days ago • 43 comments