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sunshinejarboly.bsky.social
puppy petter. eagle trainer. drinker of milk. taker of naps. writer. my books are available at https://linktr.ee/sunshinejarboly my tweets https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dyksjqh6i65siw2h6j7xhbtu/feed/aaajao4trlgl6
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Posts 45 Comments 4

one time i heard one of my neighbors refer to her husband as ‘lover’ so i just picked up my family & moved to a new city

submitted 32 minutes ago • 0 comments

it’s crazy that the earth was almost named ‘space sears’

submitted 42 minutes ago • 0 comments

A young co-worker asked me for recommendations for his Dad Rock playlist so I clubbed him with my walker

submitted 8 days ago • 11 comments

I agree crackly knees, I SHOULD stay on the couch

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

Radio 'ten-code' explained: 10-4: affirmative 10-10: negative 10-20: location 10-sandwich: all units to blimpie

submitted 7 days ago • 9 comments

one time my grandma made an ambrosia salad for the church potluck that was so good she got excommunicated for 3 weeks

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

i just listened to a doobie brothers album & now i have a mustache

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Never in human history has so much overthinking generated so few actual thoughts.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

I've been terrified of my neighbour ever since I was digging a grave in his garden at midnight and found a body already there.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

In these dark and scary times, when the world is slowly descending into a dark and bleak nightmare of humanity's own making, please take a moment in your day to think about penguins.

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

I have come to the realisation that Buddhism isn't a religion or even a philosophy but actually a widely misunderstood set of dieting tips.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

one of my favorite games as a child was to get together with my friends in the neighborhood & we'd all act out scenes from the comic strip ‘mary worth’

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

Woman falling asleep: I’m exhausted. Shit, did I sign that permission slip? I have to make a hair appointment. Do the kids need new shoes? I should call my mother-in-law. Why did Lisa say that at school pickup? She probably hates me. Man falling asleep: I’m exhaus—*SNOOOOORRRRE*

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

we have a special jail in my village that's just for seagulls

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

What I love is having opinions that are controversial enough to make a lot of people mad at me but that are also so boring they have no iconoclastic charge to them at all. For example: I Get Around is the best Beach Boys song

submitted 1 day ago • 396 comments

I believe there’s a reply so annoying that reading it would kill me and I will keep posting until I find out what that reply is

submitted 4 hours ago • 159 comments

gonna sell my grandpa’s watch and get an egg McMuffin

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

face first into the costco rotisserie chicken is what I have planned for this weekend Larry

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Fish attending a hockey game and being very respectful not to bang on the glass.

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

sometimes when i’m sitting under a tree or next to a car with no wheels in an empty parking lot i’ll think to myself, “where does pudding come from?” & then there’s other times when i’ve accidentally locked myself inside a wendy’s restroom i’ll think, “how long have i been dead?”

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

I was going to go to the gym but my buddy Jim stopped by and I figured ehh close enough

submitted 15 hours ago • 3 comments

me: does it smell like updog in here? hospice nurse: *sighs and looks at watch*

submitted 15 hours ago • 8 comments

wife seeing a guy eating a big stack of pancakes: that's disgusting me observing the suboptimal syrup to pancake ratio: yeah

submitted 19 hours ago • 1 comment

one time the pope was forced to declare a miracle in my village when my dad used his vw van, which ran on rc cola & pepto bismol, to deliver a plate of chicken wings to a troop of cub scouts who got stranded in a denny’s parking lot when their compass was stolen by a chipmunk

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Getting medical care feels like going to a concert where the nurse is the opening act and the doctor is the rock star who finally makes his big entrance after a long wait and then you yell out prescription requests

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

definitely at my most southern gentleman when i am doing declares

submitted 1 day ago • 13 comments

Having my pancakes shipped to me in a film reel canister under the code name Neon Gravy

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

These are the stalest chips I’ve ever taken 10 to 12 handfuls of.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

"Great question!" implies the existence of "terrible question!"

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

you had me at poop-face kid

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

one time my dad was kicked out of a football game for screaming-singing the friends theme song during the national anthem

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

one time i got kicked out of a cult because i kept calling my six million dollar man action figure steve horsey sauce

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Showed up on rollerblades to save ET and he said he’d rather be taken away by the military scientists.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

For every like I’ll yell through the wall to my neighbor I GOT ANOTHER ONE DARIN I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK

submitted 21 days ago • 17 comments

I don't get how Dracula and Frankenstein have time to make cereal in between terrorizing the villagers

submitted 2 days ago • 224 comments

*a caveman crosses out the year 10,184 b.c. on a rudimentary calendar, writes in 10,183 b.c. & then turns to his friend* are we at all concerned that these years are basically counting down to zero?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

my grandma has a secret casserole recipe that involves jumping out of a moving car on the freeway.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

the priest, in the confessional: you think you can come in here wearing your polarized sunglasses & your hotshot trousers from sears & tell me that lime jello salad is better than ambrosia salad? me: that’s what i’m telling you. priest: this confession is over.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

if you remade The Six Million Dollar Man today it would be about a normal american with a chronic medical issue

submitted 2 days ago • 112 comments

never thought I'd be one of those people that ends their posts with but here we are

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

probably the least punk rock thing you can do is use the name of a music genre as an adjective

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

When I say a science fact I say it with news anchor confidence because I definitely heard it from a poet or dancer or art historian at a party while I was drinking champagne & am only 23% sure it’s true.

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

"I don't usually dress like this" is my most consistent lie.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Impressed the UPS guy with my strength. I don't know what that means.

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

i just listened to a vinyl copy of one of the lesser known osmonds, a cousin named mervyn osmond, whose only known talent was being able to chew gum & sing the song ‘on top of ol’ smokey’ at the same time.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments