thcairns.bsky.social
58 posts
2 followers
8 following
Active Commenter
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On your hamster cage
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Circle the wagons Stephen. They've seen this comment and are rushing down from the moral high ground to clutch their pearls in indignation.
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Yeah, nah. My brother tried this and within 3 days he smelt like a homeless shelter.
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I didn't realise that Teenage Fanclub were anybody's favourite band. Bit like Shed Seven or Three Colours Red.
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Yes, and they're disappointed with you too.
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Alan Partridge wants his joke back please
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You'd be too busy working out which of the flat tyres to tackle first
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Give it me
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Those are rookie numbers. You need to start planning your shits around your work hours.
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Eddie! EDDIE!
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Don't want to be a buzz kill but pretty sure you can't smell when you're asleep - this is why we have smoke alarms.
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This feels like a trap.
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Then you got in your Audi, blasted some Coldplay and headed back home to Chiswick.
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You could see your wife and kids in the photo, no?
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Should've waited until they were 90% done
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No you didn't.
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Doesn't count if you're solo champ.
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Nope.
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If they'd left the house 20 mins earlier there would be no problem though
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When the ball hits your head cos you're sat in row Zed that's Zamora
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But did he know judo?
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"restaurant"
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You bought a white van?
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I think you mean "finished him off"
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This is exactly how I pour the coffee at work.
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Poolside beers with mates I noticed a young kid who couldn't swim and had just gone under. Jumped in fully clothed, pulled him out. Carried him back to parents who were deep on Instagram and hadn't noticed and didnt care Saved the life of a kid with a pair of moody ungrateful twats as parents.
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God's work.
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But they're not? Cringeworthy is an adjective modified by the adverb utterly in this sentence.
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Windsor nonce syndrome, a subtype of flag shagger disorder
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If she's reducing FW to W past the age of about 4 or is still using W in place of R by age 5 it's a phonological issue and you should seek help from a speech pathologist ❤️
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No you won't if Steam have anything to do with it
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Cucked around and found out.
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I refused to pay to go up to the top of the world trade centre back in 2000.
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Sure though?
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Can you please try grammar next.
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Did this with video games and my kids got addicted to SNES TMNT.
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Picked my uni because the brochure was A4 and all the others that year were A5
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Unless you went on to fuck the starling's rotten corpse this isn't much of a fess
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Welcome to Grimsby.
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Did you get jealous when you realised that all the council houses were 5x bigger than your rented London flat?
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Most DJs I suspect
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It's cover. He's a furry.
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Ever considered a career in fast food service? Same outcome, just a more indirect route.
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They could well be homeless (or housing insecure) and this co twins all the valuables that they don't feel comfortable stashing somewhere.
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Doesn't your manager at Starbucks notice the constant hangovers?
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Very similar experience. It's always the maths teachers.
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Ciggie and a black coffee while sitting on the bog will see you right mate