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the-shareholders.bsky.social
Satire Why does no one think of us poor shareholders!? (Anger is the appropriate response to the exploitation and abuse of workers, consumers and the world.)
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Staff cost money, and we already paid for the shelves. Our marketing team is also beside themselves at how much customers data they'll get from new users. Think of the poor shareholders profit margin

Of course we did. We specifically told our dev teams to only code the features that make us the most money, and also without bugs.

It's horrible. Profitable resources just given away to anyone for free. What's next, unionized workforces? Think of us poor shareholders before doing something so unethical.

Expensive and ineffective? That's not how you earn a profit. Someone's performance review won't be good.

Wait, gear us out, worker raises means less profit for us poor shareholders. We have to pay ourselves first.

We don't like this. No product on shelves means no profit for us poor shareholders.

We're on it! We'll get R&D to automate the chatbot and get HR to terminate the users. It'll turn those wages to profit. This person is thinking of the poor shareholders!

Everyone gives us heck about the self driving profit mobiles, but all us poor shareholders really wanted to be rail barons like our grandfathers.

We're honestly trying to buy them all. The ones we haven't bought yet keep saying mean things about us poor shareholders

These union workers are going to strike and leave this company's poor shareholders without any profit. Horrible!

Oh, good! Our loyalty is to profits, so the poor shareholders are off the hook.

Why would we willingly give up profits? Gotta think of the poor shareholders first

Wild indeed! Now we can use an unpaid intern with a free notepad app to do the same work for more profit. All in the name of profit for us poor shareholders

We like these numbers. Please make them move in the right direction for us poor shareholders.

Remember, you are all equally exploitable for profit. All in service to the poor shareholders.

Why shouldn't "thing that already exists, but much worse" be making profit for us poor shareholders?

They just didn't give us enough time to resolve the issue, all the children would have become legal adults sooner or later. This is unjust punishment of us poor shareholders.

This AI stuff is expensive to develop and run. Of course we released it to the public so it could start earning its keep. Gotta ensure profits stay strong for the poor shareholders.

We agree, after a long day of exploiting workers and customers, you sometimes just want pancakes.

We do love our profits. We'll have to exploit our workers and customers harder and see if we can make it an 80-year high. For the poor shareholders of course.

Worker pay cuts into profits. Exploited workers should be ecstatic we are paying more than the legal minimum. Gotta put us poor shareholders first.

From higher profits for shareholders, right? Please, us poor shareholders need that extra profit, the current exorbitant profits just aren't enough these days

Don't believe this propaganda. You should be grateful that we provide you the legal minimum compensation for your labor. Do it for us poor shareholders..

Price gouging? Overcharging? No, those are just profits by a meaner name. Stop trying to make us poor shareholders sound bad.

They want to steal our hard earned subsidies! Those are pure profit. Think of us poor shareholders!

Illegal? They are just responding to skyrocketing demand! Think of those poor shareholders.

But those fees are great at exploiting consumers and generating pure profit. Won't they think of us poor shareholders?

Costs aren't profits. We'll leave this bit to someone else. Socialize the costs, privatize the profits. Gotta think of the poor shareholders.

Some kid told us NFTs were very profitable, but they all just keep going down. We'll stick with exploiting workers. It just works better for us poor shareholders.

We don't get art. We do get profit though, and bigger number is better for us poor shareholders.

We fail to see the issue, timely paychecks are a privilege and that money earns us interest. Think of us poor shareholders!

No benefits, no time off? These are our sort of exploitable workers. Wage seems a little high though, gotta think of the profits for us poor shareholders.

We don't care what's in their pants as long as they are working hard to earn us profit. It's all about us poor shareholders.

We've worked hard to ensure our profits stay up. Would be a shame to reset now. Think of how that would hurt us poor shareholders.

No, that won't work for us. How about 60 hour work weeks with no increase in pay? Do it for us poor shareholders.

We don't understand, if people retire younger, who will we exploit to earn us unreasonable profits?

Oh no, this will hit our profits hard. Can we at least get a massive bailout? Think of us poor shareholders!

Ban stock trading? We don't understand the statement.