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toomuchmelon.bsky.social
People say I’m Joe Biden’s alt, but that’s malarkey My Posts — https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ywcekwzo3vo42s53kt5v4cfp/feed/aaafyezdr7xow
302 posts 1,231 followers 217 following
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When you’re scrolling for pope news

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments

Maybe they should let the pope rest in bed instead of sitting in an armchair

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

SMOKEY BEAR: i prevented forest fires you sumbitch

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Reminder that on top of being a neo-Nazi and world-class liar, Elon is weird as hell

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

I hate the current state of affairs too but how about we stop the veiled assassination comments

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The pope died painfully in his own filth, Pope Francis typed while eating a muffin in his armchair and writing the first chapter of his true-crime novel

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Movies you’ve watched more than six times, gifs only

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Four years apart… Emil Bove misused The Substance

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

This guy looks like the Fat Thor version of Glen Powell

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Historians Politely Remind Nation To Check What's Happened In Past Before Making Any Big Decisions theonion.com/historians-p...

submitted 4 days ago • 157 comments

democrats won’t admit it, but my family’s economic outlook has gotten a LOT better since Trump took office. but what do i know? i don’t have a fancy economics degree, i’m just a regular guy who runs an airplane scrapyard

submitted 5 days ago • 452 comments

Four years apart… Emil Bove misused The Substance

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

BREAKING: news someone else posted four hours ago

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Before we start discussing your offer to buy my house you should know two things. First, I’m prepared to accept wildly less than my asking price. Second, I’m out of money and desperate for quick cash. Now let’s negotiate

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

HOTEL GUESTS: it would be cool if every floor had a room where you could grab things like water, extra towels, toothpaste, etc. HOTELS: no. only ice

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Hey guys meta announced a new policy where they send a killer to get you so be sure to go to settings>my account > killer> disable killer to turn that off

submitted 9 days ago • 4 comments

Radical lefty SDNY prosecutor who *checks notes* clerked for Scalia and is a member of the Federalist Society

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

“These halftime shows make the Super Bowl unwatchable” he said while watching it for the 45th year in a row

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

When you’re shamelessly posting a popular screenshot for engagement

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

NEUTRINO: so what it’s 3am, let’s hit 5,000 more clubs

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

When you’re shamelessly posting a popular screenshot for engagement

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

“These halftime shows make the Super Bowl unwatchable” he said while watching it for the 45th year in a row

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine if Kamala had won and this was posted two weeks later. New York would be occupied by militias within days

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine if Kamala had won and this was posted two weeks later. New York would be occupied by militias within days

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Elon is working so hard, he must miss his families

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Pat Sajak flops his dong onto the wheel. “Give it a spin.” His head lolls back in ecstasy as post after post hammers his cock. The wheel comes to a stop. Pat chuckles as he shoots ropey strings of cum onto the BANKRUPT tile. “You’ve lost everything, Belinda.”

submitted 155 days ago • 28 comments

We’re getting closer to the Tesla Cybertank

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My bluetooth earbuds paired with a truck driving by like they were trying to escape

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

Still stunned this wasn’t the end

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments