Historians Politely Remind Nation To Check What's Happened In Past Before Making Any Big Decisions theonion.com/historians-p... - ThreadSky

gruntmusic.bsky.social•3 days ago

“Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to FAFO, no cap.”

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sweetglasses.bsky.social•3 days ago

😆 even grade 6 reading level equivalency should get the gist?

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patrickularity.bsky.social•3 days ago

Old fascism -> New Fascism

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jimbobmcg.bsky.social•3 days ago

Okay but they are obviously not going to do that

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quiltbyhand.bsky.social•3 days ago

Truly good advice!

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zabroglexis.bsky.social•3 days ago

Oh they're looking a lot at history. They think they can out Hitler fascism and get it to stick this time. Fucking losers.

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willowwizard.bsky.social•3 days ago

I thought @theonion.com was supposed to publish false, humorously sarcastic articles? When did they start telling the truth?

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crypticbizhiins.bsky.social•3 days ago

Gentle parenting the American public.

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lovewildcats.bsky.social•3 days ago

That we be a start of it wasn't so true.

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joellenkrissb.bsky.social•3 days ago

But really, please ask us. Historians love to tell you about this shit.

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whispereddreams.bsky.social•3 days ago

This history teacher during the past 10 years 🫠

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joellenkrissb.bsky.social•2 days ago

Same same same. I heard the words “imperialism” and “isolationism” used without irony on the radio the other day and nearly had to pull over 😵‍💫

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whispereddreams.bsky.social•2 days ago

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bakedtarot.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oh Onion, I long for the glory days past when you posted whimsical things, laughable little vignettes of implausable tomfoolery perpetrated by daft citizens and politicians alike. Were it possible to return us all to that saner, gentler timeline, I would give my own soul to see it so.

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melmcxiv.bsky.social•3 days ago

He who fails to learn from history, will succeed at repeating it

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yellowapple.us•2 days ago

He who does learn history, is doomed to watch everyone else succeed at repeating it.

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paithelady.bsky.social•3 days ago

There is a problem with that rationale. Think about the woman who gets involved with a known abuser. Justification, rationalization. "But he loves me, I can change him." The nation is caught in this same rationalization.

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terry-in-finchley.bsky.social•3 days ago

Unfortunately people are more likely to check what they think happened in the past.

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cgordi.bsky.social•3 days ago

“Read about the fall of the Reichstag and the rise of the Third Reich. It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

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margotlester.bsky.social•3 days ago

@alvisdunn.bsky.social

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alvisdunn.bsky.social•3 days ago

Time to drop the fucking politeness I reckon.

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aoilainn.bsky.social•3 days ago

History is woke if you slept through history class.

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kougeru.bsky.social•2 days ago

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audreysl0ve.bsky.social•3 days ago

lol

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mrsrobotbirdie.bsky.social•3 days ago

The "polite" thing isn't working out very well now is it?

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duhthinker.bsky.social•3 days ago

Gawd I miss The Onion. Y'all should've rebranded for whatever this is....

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luckydoghotsauce.bsky.social•3 days ago

Y’all really struggling to create satire these days. 🥺

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stevendickens3.bsky.social•3 days ago

Civilisations typically implode after 250 years.

The US celebrates it's 250th birthday soon.

Obviously, there is no correlation.

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sarazookeeper.bsky.social•3 days ago

Ya think???

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aethervision.bsky.social•2 days ago

Those who don't pass 20th Century History will have to repeat it.

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csapidus.bsky.social•3 days ago

Nah, it'll be fine!

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wabbler2025.bsky.social•3 days ago

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jack-omni-artium.bsky.social•3 days ago

If only.

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plantsnob.bsky.social•3 days ago

Another The Onion headline that is to close to reality.

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lovefreestuff.bsky.social•3 days ago

My view towards History is... only believe the part you have witnessed to be true! Do not take for granted all other. When we get lied to, Historians get lied to also, they don't get to launder or white wash it.

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

What I've witnessed? So, like the last 50 years in my little corner of the world. All else is lies.

I can do that!

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askmehow.bsky.social•3 days ago

Reading a history book before fleeing fascism has not been recommended before.

Perhaps this one time we can consider an alternative approach unless you can read quickly.

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thecrazedspruce.bsky.social•3 days ago

Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.

Those who remember history are forced to watch in horror because those who forget history refused to listen to them.

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sarazookeeper.bsky.social•3 days ago

Keep 'em ignorant by not teaching history, then it's brand new to them, and you can do whatever you want

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sixtyfps.bsky.social•3 days ago

Those who reduce access to history desire to repeat it

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gael-ico.bsky.social•3 days ago

Fr, like being some goddamn 5 minorities all in one package, and knowing history do be goddamn painfull, this mfers be saying the same shit Ford, a literal nazi who used slave labour and had a Hitler pic on his desk, said about feminism and other people's liberations and civil rights movements.

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dragonobskuritas.bsky.social•1 day ago

I hate how true this is.

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sophygurl.bsky.social•3 days ago

Eh, some who remember history are taking the wrong kinds of notes and purposefully repeating some aspects of it.

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rechan.bsky.social•3 days ago

Came to say pretty much this, leaving...well not Satisfied but y'know.

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laingsoft.bsky.social•3 days ago

Typical historians shilling for big history.

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tejanolos32.bsky.social•3 days ago

Trump, Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, their families, and supporters operate under the Divine Rights of Kings! FREEDOM HAS TO BE WORTH MORE THAN MONEY! YOU CAN'T LET MONEY BE YOUR FEAR! AMERICA VS SWASTIKA! DUMP THE STOCK MOVEMENT!!
https://youtu.be/cQXl5JZG-C8?si=YCLpKpmexnaZnDH8

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d-a-d.bsky.social•3 days ago

"History will teach us nothing."

- Gordon Sumner aka Sting

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oldschoolpatriot.bsky.social•3 days ago

At least they're polite about it.

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bluewest18.bsky.social•3 days ago

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lolatep.bsky.social•3 days ago

You cannot learn from history’s mistakes if you ban the books documenting that history.🤷🏻‍♀️

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

Waaaait.....

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historycat.bsky.social•3 days ago

I'm sure aggressive colonial nations deciding amongst themselves how to divide up other countries without that country's involvement will work out fine and there will be no long lasting repercussions.

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design3.bsky.social•3 days ago

Like oh say Andrew Jackson and the INDIAN REMOVAL ACT, 1830

OR

JEFFERSON DAVIS and Robert Lee and the Confederacy

Like those

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geiru.bsky.social•3 days ago

Too real

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hazdaz.bsky.social•3 days ago

"Oh what do these experts know?!? Just a bunch of nerds!"

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guardwolfy.bsky.social•3 days ago

When reality is so surreal that The Onion can no longer create headlines that are clear satire.

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ttrueman.bsky.social•3 days ago

History? "Who cares, we'll all be dead" George W. Bush (and he is a moral giant compared to what we have now) https://trueman-triola.stories.email/

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kaimalie.bsky.social•3 days ago

Unfortunately, more than half of the nation they’re addressing doesn’t even know what the word “historian” means.

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humblehobbyist.bsky.social•3 days ago

Hey onion

Shut up

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buebs.bsky.social•3 days ago

https://act.moveon.org/survey/impeach

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benfromtx.bsky.social•3 days ago

Is this the article that was supposed to run on Nov 5th?

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retiredreba.bsky.social•3 days ago

I wish this were funny. 😭😭

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hackett-hound.bsky.social•3 days ago

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chados.bsky.social•3 days ago

And the Republicans aren’t listening.

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dingokayfabe.bsky.social•3 days ago

Come on let’s be real how many times could more or less this exact situation have happened before

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gael-ico.bsky.social•3 days ago

Prolly my favourite onion article

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alinawithaface.bsky.social•3 days ago

clearly we need to gentle parent politicians

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kat86.bsky.social•3 days ago

Gotta love the onion😂. Makes me proud to be a Chicagoan

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ihavesomething2say.bsky.social•3 days ago

Did you mean Schumer and Jeffries?

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justarockguy.bsky.social•3 days ago

This isn't even a joke title it's just accurate.

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therealedgardner.bsky.social•3 days ago

Too late 🤣🤣

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knhoj123.bsky.social•3 days ago

I think they have been been reading up on the past, just the wrong stuff. Not the stuff we wrote about the evil dictators, but the stuff written BY the evil dictators.

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gloriaq.bsky.social•3 days ago

And this is not satire, it’s the responsable thing to do.

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false-celebration.bsky.social•3 days ago

There is a reason why humanities were the first institutions to be attacked by neoliberalism. We have terrible historical literacy in the US

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gemmasbooks.bsky.social•3 days ago

Some kids in my high school had notes from their parents to excuse them from any history class that discussed the Holocaust because they thought it was liberal propaganda. This was in the late 90s and most people just shrugged it off… 🤦🏼‍♀️

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sakuraskies.bsky.social•3 days ago

You've now become a reliable news source. How does that feel??

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bluesoulfree.bsky.social•3 days ago

Yeah, The Onion get less Onion-y in a daily basis these days.

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kbergan.bsky.social•3 days ago

Satire becomes difficult when the outrageous is the norm

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mattprorok.bsky.social•3 days ago

I imagine you could have just asked @kevinmkruse.bsky.social to pose for this, and he would have done so gladly.

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dionysia8.bsky.social•3 days ago

Narrator: nation will not learn from the past.

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rebelwoapplause.bsky.social•2 days ago

Why be polite about this! What makes you think you’ll get a second chance?

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eeyor2100.bsky.social•3 days ago

I concur!

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abbotmythos.bsky.social•3 days ago

But, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” is strictly old school. Today's meme is, "Move fast and break things." Some people will just never change.

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deohenge.bsky.social•3 days ago

Trump and Elon split the workload. Elon took "Move things" while Trump took "Breakfast." The conjunction was lost in the shuffle.

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

Things are breaking, so maybe they didn't have to say it.

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apedemek506.bsky.social•3 days ago

'Politely' is the only parody part.

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

Check out the article.

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2890moshark2.bsky.social•3 days ago

That's the point

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walksthedesert.bsky.social•3 days ago

Yep. Sharpen the guillotine!

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traingoat.bsky.social•3 days ago

Feel like this one isn't a parody

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juneaugrovskansk.bsky.social•3 days ago

In time, Onion will report on the weather and send out journalists and fact checkers, and we will know satire is dead since reality is much much more insane

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roastedtato.bsky.social•3 days ago

Those who study history are doomed to watch those that didn't study at all repeat it.

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dookielazer.bsky.social•3 days ago

Look at it this way, historians: if we didn’t repeat our stupid mistakes, there wouldn’t be as much work for you.

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russelltim151.bsky.social•3 days ago

Why, let economy burn to the ground Republicans GOP Felon Donald, Illegal Alien Elon Musk Doggy, his H1B visa Incels already selling out the people of United States and the government.

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elcid71.bsky.social•3 days ago

Most "historians" are Marxists .Leftists..democrats.

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nooradean.bsky.social•1 day ago

“Look Back Before You Act,” the most important sentence. No more money to terrorists next door to rebuild just to spend it on tunnels. The refusal of 5 peace deals is telling. Trump told the world no more rinse and repeat.

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leannehitchmough.bsky.social•3 days ago

Need to crack on and buy another of these Cassandra-esque beauties.

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joyographic.bsky.social•3 days ago

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larry1504.bsky.social•3 days ago

How far we've fallen when reality becomes satire. Or is it satire becoming reality?

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always4bangtan.bsky.social•3 days ago

📌

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jidge.bsky.social•3 days ago

📌

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javidude.bsky.social•3 days ago

Certainly a good piece of advice.

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sillymsdebs.bsky.social•3 days ago

I had to double check if this was The Onion. You all just writing real news stories now?

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risakoizumi.bsky.social•3 days ago

I said back in 2017 that The Onion should have not said a word and just switched to straight news reporting. Gonzo satire for the 21st century.

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echo.tgirl.gay•3 days ago

Satire is less funny than real life now.

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ohioan49.bsky.social•3 days ago

It’s been on my office door for years.

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deerhook.bsky.social•3 days ago

Those who hide the past are hellbent on repeating it.

Stab them with forks.

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kam3lion.bsky.social•3 days ago

“Politely” xD <3

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susanpark13.bsky.social•3 days ago

Too real, or too unreal, not even sure anymore.

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dadssavagedaughter.bsky.social•2 days ago

https://bsky.app/profile/dadssavagedaughter.bsky.social/post/3lik2cel2ak2m

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hippietrail.bsky.social•2 days ago

Pretty sure that's a member of the potato race.

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doiturdamnself.bsky.social•3 days ago

Yeeaahhh what is reality and what is farce anymore??

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laresistance47.bsky.social•3 days ago

Follow Timothy Snyder and read his Substack.

@timothysnyder.bsky.social

https://substack.com/@snyder

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laresistance47.bsky.social•3 days ago

Investing in Education is a lot cheaper than investing in Incarceration

https://www.laresistance47.com/shop/education

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padreilpadrone.bsky.social•3 days ago

Time really IS speeding up. In 2020 we were reliving 1920 with all of the pandemic and crazy fears. Now in 2025 we are reliving 1936-45.

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ferruzaxp.bsky.social•3 days ago

When The Onion doesn't read as satire, it's a sign things are upside down.

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nerdyheisenberg.bsky.social•3 days ago

I think that ship sailed.

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kim2penn.bsky.social•3 days ago

If only…

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hallelujahheart.bsky.social•3 days ago

😭😭😭 y’all be having me so weak

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junkhussy.bsky.social•3 days ago

I remember watching the last few seasons of “House of cards” after trump was elected in 2016. I never finished them because our reality made the show look like Nickelodeon.

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

"in the 1930s, financial markets—no, wait, I’m sorry. Here: A long, long time ago, "

Where's the satire? Can't find it.

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t-doe.bsky.social•3 days ago

Now by past did he mean now which is past now behind us even if it was the future like now which also passed us by ?

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carlfruge.bsky.social•3 days ago

Hilarious to us, but still to stilted for the MAGA denizens who have checked their bank accounts and have squat in them.
Those that do have millions are as amoral as ally cats to people or nations and could care less

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laney502.bsky.social•3 days ago

Right. Right. Geniuses... Maga Geniuses.
https://bsky.app/profile/laney502.bsky.social/post/3lihkdqbuuc2l

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ollieoxenfree24.bsky.social•3 days ago

Why does every onion post just feel more like a general review of the last week, but in “ironic quotations” to make it seem funny somehow

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shenloop.bsky.social•3 days ago

A+

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coloradorob.bsky.social•3 days ago

Is "Historian" still a legal profession in this country? They keep bringing up a lot of bad stuff that happened in the past.

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shiftyclown.bsky.social•3 days ago

Lets revise that to "What's happening TO the past"... oh wait. That wouldn't be light hearted parody would it.

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multithinker.bsky.social•3 days ago

Why bother with history when we can just make the same mistakes with more expensive technology? Ignoring the past has worked so well before... right?

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world999.bsky.social•3 days ago

Okay experts this is a challenge directed at y’all… WE THE PEOPLE want a PRESIDENTIAL RE- DO ELECTION! Now I’ve done some research on the matter it’s not easy but I strongly believe we are in strange & unusual times the constitution does answer the question. I’m throwing down the gauntlet.

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pearlmygirl.bsky.social•3 days ago

That’s ridiculous, because of the internet and other technology you cannot begin to compare today’s political insanity to the past.

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knoxonwooddragking.bsky.social•3 days ago

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snipedude.bsky.social•3 days ago

yeah so like this isnt satire

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thedigikast.substack.com•3 days ago

i know right? like... i think every couple posts The Onion just sneaks in a real one.

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allxie.bsky.social•3 days ago

@askhistorians.bsky.social r/AskHistorians just had their most popular AMA ever about the history of fascism. Absolutely not satire. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/1ioltxr/ama_craig_johnson_researcher_of_the_rightwing/

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allxie.bsky.social•3 days ago

@cajohnson-craig.bsky.social, the non-onion historian to follow (in addition to the onion)

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artgarciasc.bsky.social•1 day ago

The onion is going to be out of a job. We can't tell satire from real life anymore.😥

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chatmeups.bsky.social•3 days ago

They did! That’s why they r following the plan so closely…

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cubechan.bsky.social•3 days ago

Hey stop posting what far-left grandpas post on this site

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estaciamoon.bsky.social•3 days ago

Half of America: What’s history?

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rosiedekat.bsky.social•3 days ago

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jfigueroadelgado.bsky.social•3 days ago

They don't want us to study history so they can repeat it without having anyone questioning or comparing it to what happened before. Tragic.

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julibcr.bsky.social•3 days ago

What? Learn from the past???!!! No way??!

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sharkbitchoohaha.bsky.social•3 days ago

This doesn't feel satire anymore...

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owens-kd1.bsky.social•3 days ago

I think they’re using it as the playbook.

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serlapinou.bsky.social•3 days ago

Anonymous Republican sen. claim Historians' statement as "woke manifesto"

The Garlic

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lonoprime.bsky.social•3 days ago

Sad that The Onion can just rehash stories and they are still relevant today. It's as if we can't learn from history.

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cjmmusic1.bsky.social•3 days ago

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moray76.bsky.social•3 days ago

Unfortunately, history means nothing to some, or as a woman once said to me, "What do I care? All those MFers are dead." (Not her exact words.) #Shortsighted

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thecreweofthefancy.bsky.social•3 days ago

I just made this totally unrelated post.

https://bsky.app/profile/thecreweofthefancy.bsky.social/post/3lihsdom3lc24

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thepinkmonkey.bsky.social•3 days ago

People who know history are doomed to watching others repeat it....

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sparthystuff.bsky.social•3 days ago

That would imply some of these mfs can read.

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aliceinkeynes.bsky.social•3 days ago

Please bring back the Biden Is A Decrepit Sundowning Idiot Being Kept Alive By A Phylactery stories you started posting after Bernie jizzed in your brains, they were so hilarious.

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thescrollpatrol.bsky.social•3 days ago

tried that. all I get is 404 history not found

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eskargo.bsky.social•3 days ago

Yikes, I think someone else took over The Onion, probably Alex Jones.

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dhauber.bsky.social•3 days ago

Elon Musk: "Bet you Nazi this coming"

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kc-momkin.bsky.social•3 days ago

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olepal.bsky.social•3 days ago

Maybe historians shouldn’t be so polite.

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allyhartwell.bsky.social•3 days ago

🦋
I did wonder how many would get the Tiananmen Square inference on the recent cartoon. That was only 1989.

It does feel like history is disappearing from public consumption and at a time when it has never been more important.
🦋

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dragonobskuritas.bsky.social•1 day ago

Tyrants trying to maintain their power often suppress history, science and education, because well informed people are hard to manipulate.

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allyhartwell.bsky.social•1 day ago

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kewldad.bsky.social•3 days ago

Wait, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea???

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drelizabethanne.bsky.social•3 days ago

Need to tell Congress , they handle that. We’re expressing our displeasure with the job they are doing. Not so sure they are “getting it.”

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sjcrn.bsky.social•3 days ago

They Did!! They decided to Follow the Hitler Second Term Playbook. Remember How Well that Turned Out!

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ravenna321.bsky.social•3 days ago

Sorry, the past you are calling no longer exists. Please check the number and try again later, say in four years.

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wreybies.bsky.social•3 days ago

Nation will check nothing citing prior empires as precedent. "Look, they ran their shit full-tilt into a wall, too. It's our turn now."

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genxcontext.bsky.social•3 days ago

Chesterton’s Fence principle applies here

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windeedaze.bsky.social•3 days ago

So this ISN'T a satire page...?

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purpleprince89.bsky.social•3 days ago

Uhm, our nation can't read.

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russcardwell.bsky.social•2 days ago

But Trump supporters burned the history books.

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hollingswordy.bsky.social•3 days ago

Nation: we’re not gonna be tested on this, are we?

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preservationpeach.bsky.social•3 days ago

Literal question some teenager asked in my western civ class in college. I knew it was the end back in 2015

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raeyin.bsky.social•3 days ago

Teenagers have been asking that for generations. I remember. Some teachers attempted to justify knowledge by finding applications for each fact to a hypothetical adult life.

Two teachers said that you need knowledge in general. They both gave solid explanations. The kids listened better.

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preservationpeach.bsky.social•3 days ago

I haven’t really been polite about it the last three years. Why would anyone listen to us?! Lol

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