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uffdada.bsky.social
Gen X and still feral. Professional Skeeter-UFoS certified. Guardian of cosmic ideas. My timeline is a mess just like your Mom. My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ttftfqwkk7lim7bli4uqwmzg/feed/aaadnqkohsr5m
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Posts 39 Comments 11

Skeet the rainbow.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Skeets, melts in your mouth but not in your hand™️

submitted 2 hours ago • 3 comments

Some of y'all may want to reevaluate your choices, specifically the choice to post your nasty grippers to the public TL

submitted 3 hours ago • 5 comments

Honestly it's a wonder our kids listen to us at all after we try to explain that the third hand on a clock is the second hand

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

This summer when festivals have canned food donations in lieu of an entry ticket, donate something that you would actually eat. Something you would serve to your family. You never know when you will be on the receiving end.

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Therapist: and what do we do when we are on the verge of tears? Me: punch throats Therapist: [sigh] no..

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Why doesn’t anybody boogie or get down anymore?

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Putting my brain in time out because it keeps wandering off to places it shouldn't.

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

I'm sure we'll see each other soon (threatening)

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

I hate to get all political, but politicians, what a bunch of nincompoops!

submitted 1 hour ago • 2 comments

Got tested for autism and the results said “nope just a jackass”

submitted 1 hour ago • 6 comments

Mesmerising...

submitted 1 hour ago • 6 comments

my chemical romance is probably the most beautiful way to describe a drug dependency

submitted 49 minutes ago • 0 comments

If I’m trying to distract you, it’s probably because I wanna steal a bite of whatever you’re eating.

submitted 49 minutes ago • 4 comments

Why are some Dental offices some of the sketchiest looking places from the outside?

submitted 4 hours ago • 2 comments

I would never tell you how to reply but you might want to rethink your reply.

submitted 5 hours ago • 7 comments

Replying seems rhetorical.

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

I just napped so hard I think I time traveled

submitted 5 hours ago • 7 comments

I won’t smoke weed if I don’t have to. Just kidding, I totally will.

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

*sext I AM READY FOR MY VIKING FUNERAL!!!

submitted 12 hours ago • 5 comments

There are some things we only get to do once. Dying on a toilet is one of those things.

submitted 23 hours ago • 11 comments

Yeah, so, maybe I am self isolating but have you seen the state of these mother fuckers out there lately?!

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

If you hold off on a home project long enough, your needs change and it won't be necessary anymore. Follow me for more procrastinating hacks.

submitted 12 hours ago • 13 comments

I can't explain it but men love to look at your butthole

submitted 5 hours ago • 9 comments

House centipedes are a little reminder that humans are not in charge

submitted 5 hours ago • 7 comments

Don’t be scared of the thunder, baby. It’s just vampires playing baseball.

submitted 7 hours ago • 3 comments

I was gonna put things in my ass tonight, as a little treat, but I just can't be bothered, so I get it, ladies. I get it.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

no thanks piercings my life is already full of holes

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

No one wants them here either

submitted 5 hours ago • 1 comment

Even I need a silkwood shower after my skeets

submitted 5 hours ago • 3 comments

out of nowhere i just started thinking about tuna melts

submitted 5 hours ago • 4 comments

Pretty sure my obituary is going to read “sneezed while driving”

submitted 6 hours ago • 2 comments

Stop playing life on hard mode. Gaming is supposed to be fun.

submitted 7 hours ago • 1 comment

I still request for my temperature to be taken rectally

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

I will surprise you by surprising you.

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Can you technically call it flipping burgers anymore?

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Before every skeet, I give my balls a tug

submitted 7 hours ago • 14 comments

Something else I teach my kids: What other people think of me is not my problem

submitted 10 hours ago • 6 comments

Making a delicious dessert that is a scale model of Italian landmarks is a Pisa cake.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments