unrealnuws.bsky.social
WE PUT THE GAGA IN GOO GOO
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Yes our sources are saying Siri was not provided a restroom and instead had to go to the bathroom in public. Siri plans on investing their winnings in AI
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The University of Phoenix class of 2015 was about to plan their 10yr reunion, but couldn't find the campus.
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Yes and we are told the message had a happy ending
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Yes our research found that building bridges with toothpicks is probably the most cost effective approach we've seen.
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Yes our sources are telling us someone spilt marinara sauce on one of the switchboards causing the smoke alarms to go off.
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Paul later retracted his statement as he was offending spineless people. Spineless People or SP represent about 45.9% of the US population. A spokesperson for the SP group said "not everyone can be a cuckold."
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We would much rather see the NBA adopt the 7 pt shot from half court. Our NBA insider said the reason why it would be 7 pts not 6 is because an extra point would be given for the degree of difficulty.
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Our sources are telling us Bird Flew has been around for centuries. By flapping their wings the birds spread 9x faster than no flapping at all.
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New drone band the High Flyers aim to fill the sky with drones. Drone music expert Don Robot says "drones need entertainment too!"
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A great read:
open.substack.com/pub/unrealnu...
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Our sources are telling us that the Reptilians are going to be running it during the day and Trump himself will be running at night. This would make sense as the most bizarre tweets seem to come overnight.
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Yes we believe Hissan would be a new revolutionary company. Since the president of Hissan is going to be an Android. The language Droidanese will be taught to each human they employ. For every 25 androids there will be 3 humans employed. The androids will probably bully the humans.
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open.substack.com/pub/unrealnu...
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While they are strict on car emissions they are not strict on citizens burning their own garbage. We have eye witness reports of people burning couches, boats, and cocaine fields. Why couldn't they just donate the boats to drug cartels and the couches to their local therapist?
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Mouse sperm or as the streets are calling them "little squiggles" have more benefits than ant sperm because of the whiskers. The whiskers are becoming rarer than ivory and are also worth their weight in gold.
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open.substack.com/pub/unrealnu...
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He also invited Jacob Chansley (Qanon Shaman), Tupac, Alex Jones, Darth Vader, Hulk Hogan, Curt Shilling, Hillary and Bill Clinton, and Alf (if there are no space delays).