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very-serious-liam.bsky.social
Everything I say should be taken very seriously. Founder of Apple.
42 posts 37 followers 303 following
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Posts 21 Comments 28

Putting "Baby On Board" stickers on every Amazon delivery vehicle I can find so people start to think that's where babies come from

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

It's so embarrassing to read a book. You should already know the information that's in there

submitted 40 days ago • 72 comments

My job is sort of like Severance, in that I turn my brain off and go to sleep through most of my work day. That, and John Turturro is in the cubicle next to me and is constantly talking about Christopher Walken.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Cab ride cost $80 and you're not gonna walk me to my door? Not gonna make sure I get in safe? Ask me how I'm doing? Where even am I right now?

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

"Forgot your password?" Uhhh, yeah, I told YOU that. Assholes 🙄

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

This is an urgent message for all politicians, ceos, anyone in a position of power: there is a tigers jaw album with a pizza on the cover. Eat an edible and listen to it once through. We are big bags of meat on a flying rock. No one life is worth more than another. Acknowledge humans instead of AI

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

ChatGPT? How's about we just change the name to ChatFBI? Enjoy the dick pics, Big Brother!

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

I'm happy for Cam Newton. The pipeline from pro athlete to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang villain is not an easy one to navigate, but he's thriving in his new role.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

It'd be funny if there was a slightly worse actor named Scottie B. Pippen.

submitted 42 days ago • 21 comments

In case anyone wanted to know how things are going for the 47-year-old billionaire anti-aging influencer who looks exactly 47 years old…

submitted 42 days ago • 25 comments

Have we tried replacing plain old regular water with Vitamin Water? Get fluoride OUT, put vitamins IN. Hey, Two Birds, have you met my good friend One Stone?

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

look i’ll be the one to say it: how much mileage is the dawn soap company gonna get out of these fuckin ducks

submitted 42 days ago • 9 comments

You know how many nickels are just laying on the ground? Enough to throw in a sack and swing around. This country has everything you can think of

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Guess what? I'm signing with the Dodgers too! Another key free agent off the board. Money talks. Blame your team's billionaire owners for not locking me in. (🚬 😎)

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Aw, Netflix raised their prices again? Oh no. Well maybe if YOU wouldn't keep ordering that precious avocado toast, THEY wouldn't keep treating you like a dang sucker.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Scroll, scroll, scroll. Non stop scrolling for the youth. Hey, how bout here's a scroll for you: "Hear ye, hear ye, put your extra pizza dough in an index fund!"

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Jst tryna ucheev gr8ness. Mess around and find out.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

I know our country might be a bit of a trainwreck right now, but I'd still rather live in America than in Groopenburgvia, a fake country I just made up where the atmosphere is hot lava and the food is made of bees

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

I'm sorry but don't tell me I've gotta take MY boots off in your home. They were MY grandfather's boots.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

The only PARDONS that should happen in AMERICA is "Pardon me, ma'am! Let me hold that door for you!" at Dunkin freakin Donuts. Am I wrong? Follow this account for more tips on how to be a gentleman at Dunkin (NOT Honey Dew).

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

I'd like to take a moment to announce my arrival here at Bluesky. Everybody can stop writing to your local politicians to make it happen.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments