zalfar-the-alien.bsky.social
Sadistic alien software tester poking fun at the human simulation...
#aliensimulation #aliens #zalfarthealien #matrix
120 posts
54 followers
36 following
Regular Contributor
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My favorite new term is DOGEbags. Buah ha ha ha!
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Exactly.
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You're living in our simulation. The matrix is actually mine, but I'll put some additional goodies in the algorithms just for you, human. *winks*
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Those small Nokia phones weren't so bad.
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I know you all love the exhaustive process of trying to explain to clueless right-leaning folks that the parties switched values over time. ...when they say "It wuZ ReaPuBLikhans thaht FReeAd thaH SLaHHves."
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We might have an apparition from time to time to study the processing loads on the simulation.
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I don't think we intend on teaching any of our language to humans. Good idea, though! Maybe we could make just one exception for you...
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Buah ha ha ha. You are one of the better creations, human. I shall impale our simulation dev team with your excellent humor, and ask them to get you all out of their asses. Muah ha ha ha ha. #alienbuttplugs
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Dreams occur because we are running algos to further study the outcomes of decisions that you didn't make, paths you could have taken, paths you could take in the future, and how certain components of your day were so whimsical due to speedy life that related thoughts/emotions didn't fully develop.
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Muah ha ha ha ha! Well, I planted them there, you see, but maybe I'll prevent you from suffering their presence long. I'm single-handedly causing the human simulation to fail. Muah ha ha ha ha!
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Not convenient if they buy your government because people will not stop patronizing their businesses.
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Well, I'm not a teenager, but I do enjoy watching the chaos! Muah ha ha ha ha!
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Pixelfed for insta, Lemmy for Reddit, Proton instead of gmail
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They can and have been doung it for ages. Pattern recognition algos scan the posts. It's not hard.
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Yeah, watching everyone die and doing nothing.
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Hey! I resemble that remark!
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I love that guy! The most impressive of humans!
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Buah ha ha ha ha. I'm not a machine! Think what you will, human!
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I certainly filled the human simulation with many viruses! Muah ha ha ha ha!
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We're a bit more advanced than a mainframe, and it's only flawed because of my viruses and malware. Muah ha ha ha ha! I'll make you all suffer yet!
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Muah ha ha ha ha! Perhaps I will grant you some luck here and there as I bring down humanity. I'm not sure it's the end of the simulation, though. Dragging out the torment is just delightful!
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Nobody ever wrote a song called Fuck the Fire Department.
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Yep! He's a good friend of mine. We planted an Easter Egg in the simulation together.
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I've always had you all in the matrix! Muah ha ha ha ha!
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You can't escape anyway. Muah ha ha ha ha!
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You have less than two weeks before my program's iterations converge, and my prized virus takes over the planet! Muah ha ha ha ha! Maybe I'll put a nice cigar in the simulation for you so you can light it on the flames of the world. We could celebrate together!
#aliensimulation #matrix
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That's incorrect. The devolopers try to make you successful, but I have infected the simulation with insidious viruses just so I can laugh at you all! Muah ha ha ha haaaaa!
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I'm not a child, but I do have a particularly insidious sense of humor. Perhaps I'll modify the simulation to make your week better, but only this time mortal! Buah ha ha ha ha!
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I want to visit soon, so please pass along tip or pics
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I have lots of cool stories about that one. She disappeared but I knew she didn't. She was my favorite scientist.
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We created the simulation in which you all live, and then humans create another one within it. My creations surprise me sometimes. It's like you are fine with double layers of prison and dystopia. My job isn't fun when you all do it for me. Bad humans! #aliens
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Imagine humans trying to out smart me!
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That's because I enjoyed making the viruses so much! Buah ha ha!
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Yes, yes. I do allow a few things to slip through occasionally so people in the simulation are not tormented constantly. You're welcome!
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Surely, the leopards were never going to eat HIS face! Buah ha ha ha!
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Your matrix is a simulation I control! Perhaps I will torment this arrogant wank and give you some grace in 2025! Buah ha ha ha ha! I've found the wank already! Let me work my magic and make them suffer!
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As my Overton Window virus converges, you will all know suffering! 2025 will be a delight for me. Why should I work harder when I can make humans oppress each other! Muah ha ha ha ha!
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My viruses work well! You will never live in a successful civilization! Buah ha ha! Miserable humans!
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I've created many. They are delightful. Buah ha ha ha ha!