Go all-in on “no.” The potential profit percentage isn’t great, and if by chance Christ does return this year, it won’t much matter that you’ve lost all your money.
There are multiple rapture pet care companies out there--in case Fluffy or Fido don't get raptured someone will come over and see that they're adopted.
It's so ruthlessly conniving and targets people too dumb to realize they're being conned, so there are likely to be few complaints.
I'm definitely not getting raptured, but I love animals, so if anyone wants to pay me to check on your pets when you are raptured, we can work out a deal.
I mean I'm pretty sure if you place a bet on this, you definitely ain't going with him if he does come back, so down in the World Of Sin you'll be around to collect your winnings
I'm also interested in why the image they chose is by a Latter-day Saint (mormon) artist and almost exclusively used in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a notoriously anti-gambling organization
If God can reanimate a 2,000 year old corpse, you don't think he can reanimate a 2,000 year old corpse and arrange for prediction markets to pay off on him doing it?
I'm also incredibly interested to understand what would cause them to bet or remove their bet lmao. Like, what are the everyday socio-political circumstances that cause someone to be more or less confident in the Rapture occurring this year?
Christ was a human, not a God and NO he is never going to return, If he does return I hope he take all those far right Cristians with him & they never return.
I think first credit might go to @smbrnsn.bsky.social ... I did look through some of the replies to see if someone else had made the connection and didn't see any, only to find that Sam had in a quote.
Tom Lehrer was talking about nuclear war, but the point still stands:
"We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go."
In his kingdom Christ will introduce his own cryptocoin. That's what the hidden manna in Revelation 2:17 refers to
"To the one victorious, I will give hidden manna. I will also give a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it."
Wait til they hear He's already come back and is currently getting a Toxic Holocaust tattoo before He heads down to Yamhill Pub on Hs skateboard for a shot of Old Crow and a PBR. He is 31 years old.
Dad is a carpenter, just like before; He studied to be a rabbi but dropped out because they just didn't get it, man, and He's currently going though a Gap Decade.
If the biblical version of the story is to be believed I'M NOT THAT FAR OFF.
I had this great (satirical) idea: rapture insurance. Who's gonna take care of your pets after Our Lord has hoovered you up? Seemed like a license to just print money.
Some commenter searched the web and discovered that there's a such a UK company. For real, maybe.
Same for me, but I also want to hear from the folks that think their shitcoin stash is the only thing that will help them survive the Mad Max hellscape they think is coming.
Hoarding gold used to be the go-to for peppers, which is dumb IMHO you can't eat it, or use it to farm, or hunt with it, or filter water with it, but sure you could trade it and some of its value will be retained. But what in the actual fuck is a shit coin worth without a power grid, lmao?
I was confused. I wasn’t sure if you were referring to apocalypse cheerleaders or the use of those little MRE Tabasco sauce bottles as a post-apocalyptic currency.
For all that’s gloriously and purposefully unrealistic about Mad Max, they actually nailed the 3 most valuable commodities in an actual post-apocalyptic scenario: Diesel, gunpowder and water.
Interesting.. but then they’d have it all anyway..
Of what was left to survive anyway..
It’s like feeling lucky surviving the disaster, until you’re in the aftermath
I've always argued that people with these bumper stickers should have their licenses revoked since they can't promise to maintain control of their cars.
After the various fees, you'll be getting less than 97 cents though.
The extremely low/high probability events are always janky because you can't make much money unless you buy at 90 or less. That kills volume and the price gets weird on the basis of a handful of traders
1999 2000 2012 has come and gone. New millennial started new cycle count and information age is here to stay. #rockmusic #ProAmericaantitrump #removeshitlertrump #25thamendmentcorruptrottencrooktrumpfatass lazy bastard!
No such thing made up by America evangelical white protestant fire-brimstone bleeding deacons of early 1800s! Just like Jehovah Witness the Mormons and Scientology. Was jesus greek, italian, middle eastern phoenician, canaanite or egyptian? Just saying. The colonizer religion. here in the Americas
No One will know. That’s the beauty. No preparation to be had. But you feel the tension growing. We’ve got Ascension day coming. Scripture does say he will come down the same way he went up.
And every eye will see him.
so don’t worry. you won’t miss it.
Well, the rapture of believers happens about 7 years before Christ returns. So it looks like (1) 2025 is a bad bet or (2) there were mighty few living believers about 7 years ago.
Matthew 24:36 However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. (NLT)
And that they can still use the money after they won't take the Mark of the Beast, without which they can't buy and sell stuff. Maybe they figure there's enough of a time gap there to use the money.
Comments
https://aftertherapturepetcare.com/
It's so ruthlessly conniving and targets people too dumb to realize they're being conned, so there are likely to be few complaints.
If the person checking on your pet didn't get raptured for not being a good person, why would they check on your pet? Lol
Though I think animals are good at judging a person's character...so you may be surprised
Also you know the "baddies"...could just be all those "christian" nationalists...God does have a sense of humor like that.
Or, maybe it is.
He’s been on a comeback tour for as long as I’ve known about Him.
More power to Him, I s’pose…..
"We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go."
"To the one victorious, I will give hidden manna. I will also give a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it."
The new name is your password.
GOD 👽
If the biblical version of the story is to be believed I'M NOT THAT FAR OFF.
Some commenter searched the web and discovered that there's a such a UK company. For real, maybe.
-- C.S. Lewis
You dropped this. 👑
Of what was left to survive anyway..
It’s like feeling lucky surviving the disaster, until you’re in the aftermath
The extremely low/high probability events are always janky because you can't make much money unless you buy at 90 or less. That kills volume and the price gets weird on the basis of a handful of traders
And every eye will see him.
so don’t worry. you won’t miss it.
It's not like the people running Polymarket are going to be leaving in the Rapture or anything...