Years ago, my old D&D group was interrupted by Mormons knocking at the apartment door. Our group consisted of two Lutherans, a pagan, a Jew, and an atheist. We tried to get them to play with us, but they left before I could finish explaining what a Tiefling is.
An apartment dwelling friend once opened the door to Witnesses. They ask if he's heard the word of Lord, Jesus Christ. He yells "I AM THE LORD JESUS CHRIST" & slams the door.
He dashes to the balcony & climbs onto the neighbor's connecting balcony. The doorbell rings.
An acquaintance once opened the door to them and told them in a deep voice "I am sorry, we are satanists." He said he regretted it instantly because they went down the stairs so fast he was afraid they'd trip and fall.
Oh. They'd come to our door in SLC (!?!) and we'd send them upstairs to Mike, who was in law school and cranky, and Jewish and particularly enraged about posthumous baptism. Then you'd hear their big Mormon shoes scurrying back down the stairs ...
Years ago I had some Mormans visiting me weekly for around 4 or 5 months. We were each trying to convert the other. It made for interesting conversations. What they are doing on these missions is not easy. They were nice young men. I sometimes think about them & hope life worked out well for them.
My oldest is currently melting in the heat in El Centro, and he would have been over the moon to knock on your door! He might have even recognized Kevin from the ol' twitter days, my kids were fascinated by Kevin the Chicken Whisperer!
When Jehovah's Witness ladies used to come around, I used to bring up 1 Timothy 2:12, the bit where "I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
...Because I was a shitbag twat (& also more male).
We used to "send Dad" in a similar vein. He loved a good theological debate. It got so the local Seventh Day Adventists would bring any guest speakers round to have a go at cracking my Dad because he'd run through the Irish lot. All in good fun. Well, he had fun.
I have a family vendetta!
About 1910 or so my grandmother was home alone in wherever it was in ND
She on the sofa and didn't have her corset on
The one she needed because spinal issues
The missionaries let themselves in and she told them to leave
So they did, leaving the front door open
In winter
And they did
LEAVING THE FRONT DOOR OPEN
In the winter
In North Dakota
And because of spine thing she was literally not able to get up without her corset
So she was trapped on the sofa
Alone and freezing freezing til my grandfather came back
... my mom would go red in the face talking about it
That's a kindness I offer to (polite) canvassers and mormons/JWs.
If you can just accept "no thanks", you're welcome to a spot of A/C and a cold drink.
Pushy gets you yeeted off the premises.
Last time I ran into them, I was freeing my car from a tomb of ice. They were in their nice suits and shiny shoes in the frigid weather. I told them they could chat with me while I shoveled. One tried to help but I told him to stop because he had the wrong shoes and he was going to get frostbite.
I was the head of my law school’s branch of the J. Reuben Clark Legal Society, the in-all-but-name Mormon legal society. I’m as baffled as you are, and the story of how I got the position involves Emerson, Lake, and Palmer and an alien abduction. The things we do to pad a resume…
I used to tell them that my wife is catholic, I'm presbyterian, my son is buddist, my daughter is wikan, our dogs worship us, and our cats KNOW we worship them. There's no room for any more religion in our house. At this point they'd be laughing and saying their goodbyes.
My favorite is when you first get young missionaries but the person that receives them is actually really, really well versed in scripture and they end up leaving questioning their own church's practices and from then on they never send youth but only send elders to talk to you.
I showed them my copy of the Book of Mormon and asked if they'd read the Bhagavad Gita because I had recently finished it the only time they ever came to my house!
Some arrived at my house on my birthday once, when I was waiting for people to arrive for a party and had nothing else to do. We had a lovely chat and I made them a swap - they left me a copy of the Book of Mormon, and I gave them Small Gods by Terry Pratchett. I hope they read it.
I always cheerfully tell them that I went to a Mormon girls summer camp and if I have any questions I’ll ask one of my three cousins who belong to the church (all true). Usually works to scoot them along. Also often confuses them.
When they started coming round rural Northern Ireland in the late 90s, my friend's granny used ask them in, force tea and cake on them and counter convert for Presbyterianism.
Apparently nobody had warned them about the non-negotiable tea. Or the Presbyterians.
When I was at university, we had some wandering around. A really odd sight in a small university town where even the professors don't wear suits unless they absolutely have to.
They stood out more than the monks did. And those were more: Oh, nice-looking guy, but... why is he wearing a long skirt?
I have no knowledge of the tattoos in question, but my brain started with a circle-and-slash over "consubstantiation", then moved on to a big ol' LCA (with an E added in front, years later). And... there's more, but I really need to shift my head onto practical matters.
My gran invited them in for dinner. They were just two kids who were a long way from home, and they were grateful for the company. They became friends!
Offer them coffee ;) A friend in the SCA many years ago got a call from a neighbor telling her Jehovah's Witnesses were in the neighborhood. So when they knocked on her door and she answered it, she was topless with an inverted pentagram drawn on her chest in red lipstick.
The one time I remember them coming to my house was when I lived with my parents. My mother answered the door wearing her "10 reasons why curling is better than sex" shirt
A coupla' Mormon missionaries knocked on my college apt door. We let them in bc they were cute and cold and really, didn't they need to warm up for a bit?
We also told them we weren't interested in what they were pitching.
They were polite, and grateful for the heat, then went on their way.
I generally counter such incursions by trying to convince them to take one of my dad's bible study books. The counter programming usually moves them along very quickly.
Also, what is a "Lutheran tattoo?"
I was visiting a family friend who had recently gotten into the Baha'i faith and had been voraciously reading on comparative religion, but no one around him wanted to talk about it. ...
Then two young Mormon guys knocked on the door and he was SO HAPPY to be able to talk about religion to someone, they couldn't get a word in, left a copy of the Book of Mormon and made a run for it.
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He dashes to the balcony & climbs onto the neighbor's connecting balcony. The doorbell rings.
I wish I'd seen their faces
...Because I was a shitbag twat (& also more male).
I'd be much more with actual discussion nowadays.
Ah, they asked if he had a Book of Mormon and he pointed to his large collection of assorted scriptures in various languages.
About 1910 or so my grandmother was home alone in wherever it was in ND
She on the sofa and didn't have her corset on
The one she needed because spinal issues
The missionaries let themselves in and she told them to leave
So they did, leaving the front door open
In winter
LEAVING THE FRONT DOOR OPEN
In the winter
In North Dakota
And because of spine thing she was literally not able to get up without her corset
So she was trapped on the sofa
Alone and freezing freezing til my grandfather came back
... my mom would go red in the face talking about it
He answered, honestly, "Yes."
They were bewildered and stepped back to confer. Finally, one said, "Did you believe it?"
"No."
"Well you should!" Then they walked away as quickly as dignity allowed.
If you can just accept "no thanks", you're welcome to a spot of A/C and a cold drink.
Pushy gets you yeeted off the premises.
Them: do you know Jesus?
Me: yes, I know him. He’s my apprentice. Good kid.
It’s true.
Also, meeting sometime like Kevin would be awesome and memorable.
Hatch, NM is very much the Middle of Nowhere.
But I prefer the green from Lemitar.
Apparently nobody had warned them about the non-negotiable tea. Or the Presbyterians.
They stood out more than the monks did. And those were more: Oh, nice-looking guy, but... why is he wearing a long skirt?
He’d fucking HATE me. lol.
We also told them we weren't interested in what they were pitching.
They were polite, and grateful for the heat, then went on their way.
Also, what is a "Lutheran tattoo?"