guinesspig.bsky.social
Comedian & writer with Long Covid
*Posts are for humor & entertainment*
I write #MaskholeClapbacks jokes & essays for the Covid-Cautious community at guinesspig.ghost.io
Read Wayside: A serial novel for free at: tinyurl.com/wayside-novel
664 posts
5,322 followers
1,739 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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Good point. My condolences šā¤ļø
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Think of it as endurance training. It prepared us to suffer through discomfort!
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Oh fuck š³
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Theyād ask nicely first, and if the prospect said no, theyād just claw the hell out of them till they changed their mind. Sheer genius.
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They used to sell timeshares in Florida. They'd round up tourists in a minivan and bring them in for free breakfast and a '45 minute tour'... but then they'd hold everyone hostage for hours and not let them go until they agreed to sign a contract. Best close rate in the greater Orlando area.
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Former Abercrombie & Fitch model, having graced the runways from NYC to Milan and everywhere in between. Retired from that life, but remains a beacon of high fashion.
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Cray found love online, but she turned out to be a catfish & it was all a scam! He was swept up in a net & sold to people who put him in an aquarium. Ironically, it led him to the true love of his life- a human who rescued him & gave him a home. He was loved & he knew it. (So sorry for your loss) š¢
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Jorik used to travel around the country giving talks at conferences. He would always open with ānow Iām not a motivational speakerā¦ā but he totally was a motivational speaker.
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Sheās been to outer space, was not a fan of the litter box experience.
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Heās been banned for life from 6 different casinos in Vegas and also Carnival Cruises.
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His name was Kevin and he blew his trust fund on cocaine and exotic dancers.
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It was a loverās quarrel, by the way. Snooki wanted a commitment but he wasnāt ready to settle down. She took it hard, but I think he made the right call.
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Gus went broke selling Amway and had to file for bankruptcy. He has a lot of regrets about it but feels confident heāll be more successful as a Pampered Chef consultant. Watch your inbox, heāll be sending you a party invite shortly.
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Rumplestiltskin did two years of LDS mission work in South America, but tried Ayahuasca one evening and all the answers in the universe were revealed to him. He left the church but still watches āThe Secret Lives of Mormon Wivesā when youāre not around.
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Higgins used to be known as Nicky No-Nuts. He was supposed to be part of the original Jersey Shore cast but got into a fight with Snooki and was released before production began. Sorry, Higgins.
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Mediocracy would beā¦ generous
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No way!!!
Fellow āheel here!
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Totally agree with that, that lamp captures how a lot of us feel these days š«
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Thank you! I havenāt been very creative lately but Iām trying to get my shit together!
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Jeeezus, way to celebrate alcohol abuse
! š«
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What happened to the light - did it fall over or is it like that on purpose?
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His administration also sat on H5N1 and disregarded experts who were screaming about the severity of the threat. New admin has seamlessly moved into ignoring it altogether.
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āBack in the pre-denial phase of the pandemicā¦ā
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LOL prevention is so 2020. Scratched lenses are mild now.
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The answer: safer than it would feel to be in the presence of the person who served up that shit to you on FB