robofist.bsky.social
RoboFist 3.0 : You Can [Not] Be Relevant Again
Former "local culture anthropologist" crawling back to social media for the first time in three years, pitifully seeking validation from strangers by yapping into the abyss.
230 posts
60 followers
123 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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If you didn't enjoy 2 or 3, you're straight up doing yourself a favor by pretending the World trilogy doesn't even exist.
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"We need a Rockstar Democrat!
...but, y'know, one that is pro-war, pro-capitalism, pro-Israel, doesn't ask too many questions, and knows how to SAY progressive things without DOING progressive things. As to not upset the donors that pay us for our compliance...
Why is this so hard???"
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So what I'm reading is "the games that are actually on the physical cart are selling just fine, but the glorified Mimics aren't"?
Shocked fucking Pikachu face.
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I don't know if it's Mechagodzilla rocking Stark's tech or Tony rocking Godzilla-Buster Armor, but either of those would add an entire extra year to my sad little life.
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I saw you ages ago at Youmacon, how did I never put 2 and 2 together that you grew up in Michigan??
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8. Pokemon Legends: Arceus
☆☆☆☆☆
Just when I thought I had outgrown Pokemon, I give this one a chance. And it's everything I always wanted a Pokemon game to be, ever since I first beat Gold as a 10-year-old.
Addicting gameplay loop. Best final boss in the series.
Best Pokemon game on the Switch.
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7. Shantae: Risky Revolution
☆☆☆
As a piece of gaming history, this gets a 10 out of 5!
As a game...it's totally fine. It bridges the gap between a GBC game and a DSi one, long before Shantae found her groove in Pirate's Curse and was perfected in Seven Sirens.
A fun little curio.
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6. Dragon Quest III HD-2D Remake
☆☆☆☆
After 8 and Monsters, I finally felt ready.
I have a LOT of thoughts, but at the end of the day? I get it. If this is how Japanese audiences felt in 1988, I 100% understand get it.
(I'd love for future games to try the "make your own party" thing again.)
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5. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
☆☆☆☆☆
Paper Mario 64 is one of my favorite games. I tried TTYD back on the 'cube ages ago, but it didn't grab me then.
Now? Dang, this is a hell of a sequel. Not just in scope, but gameplay as well. Hilarious, heartfelt, ADORE the sidekicks. I get the hype.
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4. Okami
☆☆☆☆
This is the second time I've beaten this little masterpiece. The sequel teaser got me hungry again.
Okami overflows with charm and joy. Ammy controls like a dream, the world is a blast to explore, the the score is GORGEOUS.
It's a breezy epic. Just pure fun.
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3. Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
☆☆☆☆☆
I was on a Castlevania kick, y'see.
I'd heard that some consider this to be the best Metroidvania in the series. I held off playing it because I'm a Belmont purist, but OoE convinced me to give it a shot.
Yeah...I was SHOCKED by how great it was. Near perfect.
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1. Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
☆☆☆☆
I never played Rondo of Blood, but this was a GREAT time (aside from the muted colors and hitboxes being frustratingly inconsistent due the game using polygons instead of sprites). Really hard. Still don't understand the Richter hype, however...
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Apologies for the hyperbolic example, but this gives off "Hitler LOVED his dogs! 🥰" energy.
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But this Twitter model?
How am I supposed to share here?
WHAT am I supposed to share here?
Just my thoughts? Exclusively?
Nobody cares. Hell, I barely care.
Ha do I just keep posting pictures and captions into the void until I do just quit Bluesky?
Let me know please.
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Maybe it felt novel to look at a picture on Insta of, I dunno, a box of old cereal and then discover a decently-written essay about it? You don't expect that on those sites, so it was a fun surprise?
But tags were ESSENTIAL, got my stuff in front of people who would have never seen it otherwise.
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Had this problem on Twitter, too, back when everyone loved it. NEVER got a foothold there. It moved too fast.
Instagram and (ugh) Tumblr were somehow easier for me because they felt like strictly visual mediums where long-form writing could COMPLIMENT images. People seemed to dig when I did that.
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I would rather play a slightly downgraded version that I will forever own on Switch 1 (that might get minor upgrades on Switch 2 regardless) than pay $20 extra for whatever the hell this scheme is.
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Which is a shame because theirs is a story worth telling that I think a lot of people would find emotionally investing.
Hopefully someone better than me comes along to do it one day.
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That was back when I had an unquenchable need to write about my interests.
It helped that I used to have a platform with a few friends who would humor me.
Honestly can't remember the last thing I even wrote about, but it was at least three long, stupid years ago.
Probably will remain unfinished.
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I remember I began writing a very in-depth oral history of Banjo and Kazooie's long road to Smash that summer.
Still writing it, technically.
It starts with the birth of Rare and their (at the time) unprecedented relationship with Nintendo. Because some kids just don't know how HUGE this was.
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The fact that I was introduced to this comic during the tail end of my puberty years and DIDN'T become a furry is miraculous. But thanks for 20 years of trying your damnedest, sir.
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✊️
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It's a Vitruvian Man homage.
Maybe he does need to be on the nose?
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The Democratic Party would rather spend literal tens of millions of dollars than let Bernie run for president.
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That Mega Evolution hat is DOPE.
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10. Twilight Princess
9. Wii Sports
8. Metroid Prime 3
7. Sonic Colors
6. Tatsunoko vs Capcom
5. Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition
4. Punch-Out!!
3. WarioWare: Smooth Moves
2. Super Smash Bros. Brawl
1. Rayman Origins
Voting is the most fun part of this experiment. Half of these gems won't make it.
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The Wolf Man.
Melodramatic, constantly getting in his own way, wants to die, gets along better with the elderly than people his own age, lifelong dog person. Just call me Larry.
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No joke, this game would be a perfect opportunity to reintroduce Stanley into modern DK canon. Nobody else in the world would care, but I think it's LONG overdue.
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This generation's "We consider the DS the third pillar of Nintendo, it won't replace the GBA."
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10. Power Stone Collection
9. Jeanne d'Arc
8. One-Minute Hero
7. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
6. Persona 3 Portable
5. Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep
4. Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
3. Soul Calibur: Broken Destinies
2. God of War: Chains of Olympus
1. God of War: Ghost of Sparta