i am serious, please give me some names to feature - ThreadSky

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social • 1 day ago

i am serious, please give me some names to feature

zheng pov is SO much fun to write, please nominate your most beloathed over-confident mediocre white guy colleagues, i need names for her to rant about

Comments

oatmilktruther.bsky.social•20 hours ago

stupid fucking craig. never once have i introduced myself this way and everyone else in the department calls me by my actual name but he calls me abby every time his sad pathetic ass calls me to ask me how to do something he, with several years of seniority over me, should KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO DO

ofmdplease.bsky.social•1 day ago

There’s a lot of David’s where I work. They’re all buttheads.

ofmdplease.bsky.social•1 day ago

Also I just realized our Lord and Savior’s name is David. These David’s are nothing like David Jenkins.

cobaltsiren.bsky.social•1 day ago

I don’t hate him but I’m peeved by his use of chatgpt, so, Troy

blandbeard.bsky.social•1 day ago

ward, matteo

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

📝 thank you!

jossminion.bsky.social•1 day ago

Matt. Born rich, handsome af (unfortunately) and athletic. Believes himself to be the most discriminated-against individual in the history of discrimination.

aperfectday.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Can I yes-and this one since mine is Matt too? Plays the victim AND ally on the surface all at once but with the slightest pushback, he comes out with the condescending and aggressive mansplaining. Turns out all of this was a front for literal theft all along.

gentlerevenge.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Throwing in another vote for Matt, mostly because that's my ex's name but also the name of an entirely useless former boss who wore too-tight flared bedazzled jeans

slowpiracy.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Bentley

zstraps.bsky.social•19 hours ago

CHARLIE. well intentioned but forgetful and absentminded and will look me in the eye and tell me “that wasn’t my understanding of the process” when he agreed to the process and has had 5 different people talk to him about how he’s not following the process

gelatinousstand.bsky.social•1 day ago

There’s also Craig who knows the name of every man in the department, but none of the women. And I don’t think he knows non-binary people exist at all. As in he speaks over us as if we’re not even there

gelatinousstand.bsky.social•1 day ago

Doug. Sorry Doug but my boss’s boss’s rich white cishetero boss Doug “understands the plight of trans folks in America” because he’s Canadian so now I’m soured on all Dougs

insane-foliage.bsky.social•1 day ago

Andrew. There are two of them at work. And they are both insufferable.

inneedofdonuts.bsky.social•11 hours ago

Not a white man because I'm in Indonesia but he is part of the population majority here. His name is fucking DAN, he was my supervisor at work and when I asked a tiny thing to clarify his instruction, he went "let me explain again" and slowly explained the task from the beginning like I was five.

inneedofdonuts.bsky.social•11 hours ago

Like no, Dan, I understood the assignment perfectly, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. A simple yes or no would suffice 😤

andalitebandit.bsky.social•21 hours ago

I joke that every library has its very own Bitchy Little Man. The BLM at my current workplace is called Brady, and he specializes in having unending conversations about things he knows make you uncomfortable. He loves to monologue for 20 minutes, with no encouragement, on guns and personal finance.

notstraycollie.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Oh god, Glenn! Never comes to meetings except to mansplain to the rest primarily female group the thing we discussed, worked through, and resolved 6 weeks ago. Expects praise and awe for this. Wears a 'This is what a feminist looks like tshirt'.

momebie.bsky.social•1 day ago

ERIC. 😤

alexis44.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Olivier, a middle-aged white straight guy who is totally not racist, queerphobic, or sexist, of course not! He just happen to think that including LGBT characters in a film when it doesn't serve the story is crap. Also, when you’re a white straight guy, you are totally discarded in today's society.

ghostalservice.bsky.social•1 day ago

Omg SCOTT, who literally never stops talking

lyratalise.bsky.social•1 day ago

I have a Scott that never stops talking, actively seeks an audience, and will, in loving detail with no apparent awareness, educate you on information, concepts, and practices that you taught him or even created yourself.

roflad.bsky.social•1 day ago

My less tha useless dept coach Will springs to mind. He really thinks he's amazing too. Spoiler alert: he is not

ghostalservice.bsky.social•1 day ago

OH YES this sounds like my scott and also he is the king of AND ANOTHER THING (aka walking away finally and then turning around and coming back with another point)

lyratalise.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Lest you think you had finally escaped.

moderatecitrus.bsky.social•1 day ago

Keith.

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

📝

alltomato1717.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Miles.

alltomato1717.bsky.social•18 hours ago

(and no offense I hope to any other Mileses but man I had an old boss who wore the cheap shiny suits, slick hair, mean as a snake - this is for that Miles😬)

polagblue.bsky.social•1 day ago

Matthias thinks he is the smartest, also has a temper and thinks talent excuses everything. People call each other for moral support when they have to work with him.

robotpinemarten.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Richard, the first time I met him he said I should sign up to do some equalities training and that the training talked about intersectionality then he mansplained what intersectionality means. I wrote and delivered equalities training for volunteers for the charity we worked for

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Curt, a manager who liked to play candy crush on his phone half the day instead of doing any actual work, and spent the other half of the day walking around interfering with everyone else’s work by making them explain things he should fucking know as the MANAGER for the 12th goddamn time.

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Also liked to stand way too close to everyone (in 2020/2021!) and find excuses to grab at waists/lower backs of female employees

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•18 hours ago

And by “stand way too close” I mean uncomfortably close even if there wasn’t a respiratory pandemic on, and also he always wore his mask under his fucking nose like a moron.

appleteeth.bsky.social•1 day ago

Will. Posh twat who keeps failing up. Tries to tell you how you're doing your job wrong when he can't even fill in a simple spreadsheet correctly.

norskheks.bsky.social•20 hours ago

I have def been mansplained to by a Will, on a topic that my degree related to and his didn't, after we discussed our educational backgrounds.

norskheks.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Also have a Bill at work who's a Tr*mp supporter. It's not looking great for Williams generally.

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

a good one, thank you 📝

jiskechristine.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Wallace. He’s a pedantic mansplainer that talks to the junior staff as if they’re preschoolers

jiskechristine.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Also Geert, who I refer to as ‘the horse in my hospital’, referencing the John Mulaney bit. Anytime Geert’s name is so much as mentioned I brace myself because I know that whatever he did is about to be my mess to clean up. There should NOT be a horse in the hospital but he is our head of department

jiskechristine.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Geert also happens to be the first name of Dutch Trump. Please drag Geert. I want that bitch pulverised

followedmystar.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Dennis was an elitist, self-important, wannabe Romeo who couldn’t troubleshoot his way out of a paper bag. (Our job was troubleshooting.)

nomadsland.bsky.social•21 hours ago

OH LEAST WE FORGET DANIEL, the emergency medical technician who watched youtube videos on his phone WHILST DRIVING THE AMBULANCE

nomadsland.bsky.social•1 day ago

Adam was a smarmy ass and Roman was maybe the most sexist man I’ve ever met.

thrilloilogy.bsky.social•1 day ago

Lukas, Derek, Tom, Kevin, Peter, Stuart. All men who have abused, assaulted, or fucked me over. The last was just a spineless

whitebeam1.bsky.social•1 day ago

I’ll add John, Mark, Barry, Justin and Keith (sorry they’re such Gen X Brit).

appleteeth.bsky.social•21 hours ago

You need a Gary in there to complete the Gen X Brit set

whitebeam1.bsky.social•21 hours ago

You’re right but strangely most Gary’s I knew were nice, Wayne’s on the other hand….

appleteeth.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Ughhh I forgot the collective arseholery that was Wayne's

thrilloilogy.bsky.social•1 day ago

They're so mediocre though

whitebeam1.bsky.social•21 hours ago

But all so embroiled in a pissing contest

thrilloilogy.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Gotta be the top of the bell curve

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

that's perfect for this though 📝

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

📝 noted!

thrilloilogy.bsky.social•1 day ago

A mix of Dutch, German, English, and American, if that counts...

fpwoper.bsky.social•1 day ago

Daan knows alllllll about Azure DevOps except he really doesn't even know how to find the trash bin in it.

elphia3.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Sean and Blane, if you have any use for mansplainers with persecution complexes who incorrectly see themselves as undervalued

redshiftsinger.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Heeeyyy I know a Sean like that too. Also constantly talked over everyone, and did “bro slaps” (y’know like on the shoulder) hard enough to actually fucking hurt as a dominance play.

mrbuttons284266.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Tyler.

mrbuttons284266.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Rees.

margareets.bsky.social•22 hours ago

Joey. He was possibly THE most boring human being I have ever met and dumber than a bucket of rocks. Of course he thought he was amazing

anathxmadevice.bsky.social•21 hours ago

fuckin DAVE oh my god the most useless fucker acting like he's all cool and chill and then being the MOST annoying and picky and micromanaging person in the world

(my most fail upwards coworker is, in fact, a woman called caroline. failing upwards right through that glass ceiling ig)

stedebonnet.bsky.social•1 day ago

zake? zach? i can't remember how to spell his name i only thought of him as cunt

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

noted 📝📝📝

kalansphantomff.bsky.social•1 day ago

Omg Jason, he's like the most stereotypical white bro ever.

darcylindbergh.bsky.social•1 day ago

Jordan. Dude was the fucking worst

confusedraven1.bsky.social•20 hours ago

john (also calls himself DUI Johnny, so you can change it to like, Drunkard Johnny or something). he’s an entitled, selfish, whiny fucking baby who thinks he’s owed the damn world. he also takes everything so damn personally

confusedraven1.bsky.social•20 hours ago

he’s also the guy that reports people to our company’s hotline when they piss him off. he also got all petty and retaliatory when he didn’t get the promotion he wanted, but held back just enough so it wouldn’t be called retaliation and he’d get fired

yerbamansa.bsky.social•20 hours ago

He CALLS HIMSELF THAT?!

confusedraven1.bsky.social•20 hours ago

he does! lmfao i literally hear no one else call him that, but it’s always him being like “man, it really sucks being DUI Johnny” cause he got his license taken away and he either has to bike everywhere or rely on other people to drive him

yerbamansa.bsky.social•20 hours ago

I cannot imagine anyone feeling comfortable calling someone that, much less at a workplace, that's wild

littlefingies.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Mark is an old white guy who's paid twice as much as his younger colleagues to do the same work, and he always manages to do half the work they do.

littlefingies.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Bob is another old white guy who's been in management for ages but somehow never wants to do his job. He wants 10 years of experience for hiring an entry level custodian so he'll never have to train them.

watchtheflow.bsky.social•1 day ago

Adam or Matt please ☺️☺️

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

perfect, noted 📝

loopslip00.bsky.social•23 hours ago

dave. a master of his craft. (that craft is arriving new to a management role at a workplace and immediately changing how every single process is done and where everything is kept so it makes sense only to him, and doesn't tell anyone when, why or how he's done it.)

toadpuppy.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Chuck is a middle-aged white guy who doesn’t want to work under a female stage manager and has targeted me to make me uncomfortable enough times that I refuse to do any show he’s associated with

wastingyourgum.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Fuck Chuck.

toadpuppy.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Right? The worst part was losing friends over it - one guy said he’s never seen Chuck act that way when he’s had to directly intervene multiple times 🙄

ramsaybaggins.bsky.social•1 day ago

Adrian

bizarrelittlemew.bsky.social•1 day ago

noted, thank you 🫡

routinesardine.bsky.social•23 hours ago

James. Mansplains every point back to you in order to take credit for the idea in the meeting.

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