The bad news: that will happen for years. The good news: it morphs into profound appreciation. I find myself sending my parents thanks for efforts/actions/teachings I didn't appreciate at the time.
It can come from the craziest things at the craziest times. Years after his passing, I was tidying a closet, opened a box and found my dad’s silly old Cubs scarf and burst into sobs.
It comes at weird times. Or maybe they aren’t so weird. My father passed away recently. I just had a mini split installed in my garage. Normally I’d text him pics after and we’d talk about the install. Just guy stuff.
Broke down in tears looking at the stupid unit on the wall.
I read a blurb the other day about the black new moon tomorrow (second new moon in a month) and it had a quote from Farmer's Almanac and it immediately reminded me that we used to get my dad the next year's new copy for Christmas, and I really miss him. Funny the things that do it. Sending love. 💜
I’m so sorry. I get it, I lost my parents and miss them always…especially at the holidays. Take time to reflect and remember him. He’s always with you. 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️
Yes. And it always hits harder this time of year. I hear Sinatra singing "I'll be home for Christmas" and that does it for me. I see my dad, when I was little, putting tinsel on the tree one strand at a time.It took him 4 days to decorate the tree. When he grew old, he became a cynic.😢
Hugs, Katie 😘
Grief is strange that way. On the bus on my way to work one day I suddenly thought about my mother who had passed away a few years back. I began crying, uncontrollably, and had to get off the bus.
I lost a good friend Christmas Day a few years ago. Overall, I do okay, but periodically it hits hard, a week ago at breakfast w/ my husband, I saw a woman with similar colored hair. 😭
It’s almost been 12 years from losing both my mom, and dad, within 2 months of each other.
There are always things that trigger the grief for each one, and then the 2 together. The grief is always just under the surface, but some things just cause it to boil over.
Katie, I wish I could say that it goes away, but it doesn’t ever go away. That loss of your sweet dad stays with in your heart, always are used to pretend or believe that when I drove around the car, I could talk to him and so I did and still do.
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, grief comes in waves & sometimes, you don't know what activates it. It's amazing how many little events, words can do so. I also like to think if it hits me out-of-the-blue, it's me, sensing my loved ones' energy around me, saying, "hello." Sending healing wishes.💜
I'm sorry for you. For me I was just baking Christmas cookies a week ago and half-turned to ask my mom a question, forgetting that she wasn't there. She passed a year ago. It feels like they're always here with us, popping up in unexpected moments. ❤️
I understand the feeling. It just hits you at the strangest times. Grief is a process, it's OK to let yourself feel sad. Try to remember the good times ❤️
Lost my mom in September. I few times I reached for the phone to call her. She was my best friend. But I can relate. Sometimes, out of nowhere, it just hits you. And then you keep going.
It doesn’t get “better” but just something that becomes a part of you and you learn to live with it. The grief will pop up into your life with less regularity but it’ll still be present. If any of that makes sense.
At first, it seems like someone is stabbing you in the heart with a sword, again and again. Over time, the sword becomes a pocket knife, little nicks here and there, a reminder of the love you shared. My sympathies to you on your loss.
It’ll be the most innocuous thing that triggers it too. We lost my younger brother 11 years ago this coming January, and I’ll still reach for the phone to brag about my adult kid, or something triggers a particular memory about him.
My dad and I used to watch Jeopardy every evening. After his passing I couldn't watch it. It made me too sad.
For the first time since then I tried to watch it again. I didn't make it through the episode. It made me miss my dad too much. ❤️
I'm deeply sorry, Katie ... It's so hard losing a parent.
Lost my pops, first to Alzheimer's years ago, and then in life, this month ... Sending you love and big hugs ...
Your Dad (parents) raised a phenomenal daughter❤️I remember you posting a photo of you and him on the bird app! I can tell how much you loved one another! Sending peace and comfort to your heart🙏🏾
Well, first and foremost, you are in Bluesky! Everything happens out of the blue. And it's OK to miss our loved ones. It just shows how much you loved your Dad. I love my Dad too! Like you, Im missing him too, and so as Mom.
Understand. My wife died Dec 19 3 years ago & I'll be fine for a couple months then something will push my hidden grief button & I have to reset my system.
Hey, it kinda sneaks up on you when you think you've got it all under control, doesn't it? I think its there all the time, just pushed into the background while you do your best to get on with life, only to pop up and drown you when you least expect it. Its not all bad. You're human. We grieve.
Yeah, my cousin warned me about this when my dad died. His mom died years earlier, and he said, “Don’t be surprised if his face just pops up in your head out of nowhere. It happens to me.”
There was I thinking it was only old, emotional guys like me, that found themselves suddenly overcome with such sudden waves of grief and loss. A piece of music, a passage in a book or a random thought is often enough to reduce me to tears. ❤️
That can be so true. But I'm trying to figure out the connection between "shoes" and "dad". Did a certain heel height put you in mind of how your heights would have finally matched? Did he used to yell at you as a teen for spending too much at the mall?
First holidays without Dad and the first Christmas I've spent with my sister in Massachusetts rather than Florida with him. The weirdest things will trigger the grief.
Oof. Those can really catch one off guard. It’s been 13 years since my dad passed and it still happens every now and then. Someone told me that it happens because they are trying to let us know they’re still around and watching over us. Sending you hugs.
Lost my dad in 2017. Mostly his memory makes me smile and laugh, but there are times when I am awash with grief as though his passing was fresh that day, and often there is no rhyme or reason to when that wave overtakes me. We must simply ride it out. Sending thoughts of peace and comfort your way.
They hit when we least expect it. The UPS driver was unfortunately there when my dads death hit me.
My dad worked at UPS for at least 25 years.the driver recognized my last name and told me my dad trained him. I wish I got the mans name. He was so kind as I sobbed💔
We were trimming our tree and listening to the John Denver/Muppets Christmas album when a song came on that my sister and I used to sing together. Boy, did the tears flow! Miss her so much.😞
The sense of smell triggers memories the most I am told.
The loss of one’s parents forever stirs emotions, memories, security, sounds, and taste. I also smile whenever I hear Ray Charles who my Dad taught me to listen and grow fond of the music.
Hugs Katie.
I opened a can of Christmas cookies my sister made me and as soon as I saw the sprinkles I lost it cried all evening, my dad used to make the sugar cookies. We lost him in December of 2018
I know what you mean. Hits you out of the blue at the oddest times. Take care of your heart, it's where he lives and where his voice is strongest saying he loves you too.
Bit into a boiled fruitcake over Christmas that my brother made from Grandmother’s recipe. Have not had it since she passed and it instantly brought back family memories. Sigh. Good and bad.
Lost my mother in-law about a month ago. I'm good, the wife's having a hard time. At times i think this day will be a better day and then I hear her crying out in the living room that she just wants to call her mom and talk and I can only say I know. Knowing I can't fix this.
I was once at a union conf. And my mother popped up on a huge video screen during a montage of union workers. She had only died a few months before. I had to leave the conf. room. Later I decided that was her way of saying hi.
❤️I hear you. Life is like that. For me, it happens when I use the baking dish my mom used for dressing at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's one of the few things of hers that I kept. It also happens when I see a school bus...like my dad used to drive. They're still with us, in their own way, Katie.
As you get older you feel their loss even greater, when you realize all they’ve missed and will miss .. they will live in your memories and dreams until you too become one of the disappeared ones.. then your life and theirs will live on in future generations as ancestors….circle of life
Sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents this year, sometimes I look at my phone and realize I can’t call them anymore and the grief rushes in. My birthday this year was the hardest because I didn’t get a call from them for the first time. 😢😭
Same. Today is my dad’s birthday. He would have been 104 today. He’s been gone 10 years, but I still expect the phone to ring on Saturday afternoons at halftime of the @WSU game.
Embrace that feeling. It means you had a Dad that loved and cherished you and let you know it. Not everyone has that. Afterwards smile at the warmth he brought to your life and vow to bring it forward. What a gift 💝
Oh I am so sorry. When last I saw you on TV I thought, “something is weighing on Ms. Phang.” I could see it in your eyes. I assumed it was the same fear and loathing all decent Americans are feeling. But now I know it’s a personal grief too. My sincere condolences. Never good to lose dad.
After losing my husband 3yrs ago I’ve begun to feel my footing in life is stable when suddenly I’m knocked down again. There’s just no reasoning with grief.
Grief has no respect for time or place when it shows up even many years after someone has passed. It helps to consider the privilege of loving and being loved by someone so much that it hurts to have them gone.
It does happen in and at the strangest places. I lost my child and sometimes just the atmosphere or a little blip of a memory will strike and the grief can be overwhelming. 💔
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Most of the time I can avoid falling in the hole that her passing has left in me, but sometimes I just go ahead and jump in.
My grandfather passed away over 40 years ago. Now & then I catch my mom w/tears in her eyes bc of a sight of something or simply a thought...
Never got to meet him but mom shares her memories ...
As long as they are in our thoughts & our hearts they are forever with us.
Broke down in tears looking at the stupid unit on the wall.
My Mom died 2 years ago, & it was a tiny box. The ball pummeled it unrelentingly.
The box grows with time. The ball trips it less often.
But even with a big box, when it hits… 🥺
Hugs, Katie 😘
Miss this man every day. #suckyclub #inaglimpse
You will see him in so many places and it will make you breathless…in sadness and joy. Hang in there.
There are always things that trigger the grief for each one, and then the 2 together. The grief is always just under the surface, but some things just cause it to boil over.
It never gets easier.
Sometimes ripples... sometimes tsunamis.
If I tarry on thoughts of my mom, it's almost a physical ache. She would absolutely give me crap for it.
Her last words to my brother?
"No blubbering."
🤷
There are no words.
I've learned to embrace those moments.
I take them as a sign that my loved one is reaching out to me just to say....I'm here.
😪😪🤧🤧😪😪
I look at it two ways.
I think part of it, we stuff the grief and sometimes it makes it to the surface.
I also feel they are always in our hearts and it’s their energy saying Hey, I am still with you, I will always love you, you’re not alone.
For the first time since then I tried to watch it again. I didn't make it through the episode. It made me miss my dad too much. ❤️
Follow me an I will do all I can to offer you peace, Katie.
Lost my pops, first to Alzheimer's years ago, and then in life, this month ... Sending you love and big hugs ...
Cherish the memories.❤️
Hugs, Katie.
My dad worked at UPS for at least 25 years.the driver recognized my last name and told me my dad trained him. I wish I got the mans name. He was so kind as I sobbed💔
The loss of one’s parents forever stirs emotions, memories, security, sounds, and taste. I also smile whenever I hear Ray Charles who my Dad taught me to listen and grow fond of the music.
Hugs Katie.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
May you heal at your pace surrounded by the many good memories
It's been 24 years and it continues.
I am so sorry for your loss of your father.
💔 😪