You won't understand autism until you understand how something seemingly tiny and completely insignificant (to you) could give someone such intense anxiety that they literally can't move on with their day until the thing is "fixed".
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I want to fix what I see as breaks in relationships and get so depressed about it but I don’t want to bring it up for fear of being blamed/wrong
And struggle with formulating the words
So I’m left with the sadness
And then I’m stuck
They are usually oblivious
And happily getting on with the day
This is endlessly relatable and I appreciate you sharing it. Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a simulation which would allow neurotypical folks to somehow experience the world through a neurodiverse perspective?
Apparently transphobes get a dose when they are in VR as the wrong gender, and depression quest (for all the unrelated bullshit involved) did help a lot of people understand each other. So the theory is sound.
I just wonder how it could be done, at that point.
Sometimes I like to imagine what the world would be like if it was flipped and society supported and rewarded neurodiversity. Certainly more interesting than whatever all this is.
And anxiety beyond the “I can’t stop worrying about it” - the physically debilitating anxiety that exhausts you because your system is flooded with hormones that make you *need* to take action.
I don't think that I have full-blown autism. But I do have a lot of tendencies well enough to advocate for those who live with a more severe position on the spectrum. Notice I did not say diagnosis, as we cannot always rely on those. There's not enough space here, so maybe I'll blog on it one day.
Until you understand how the blinding fluorescent lights and cacophony of a warehouse store can make you literally turn around and walk out before you rip your own skin off, starting with your toenails, because you have already determined those are the sharpest instrument for the task
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And struggle with formulating the words
So I’m left with the sadness
And then I’m stuck
They are usually oblivious
And happily getting on with the day
I just wonder how it could be done, at that point.
Justice sensitivity seems hard...
In my experience, empathy is like clouds.
Requires at least a few seeds.
That's fine/not fine.
I get excluded from so many sects because I insist on asking questions.