Trump Cutbacks Force FAA To Unplug Giant Magnet That Keeps Planes In Air theonion.com/trump-c... - ThreadSky

Commit tax fraud 😈 if he got away with it you can too

https://bsky.app/profile/swaggerflakes.bsky.social/post/3liiv3kqk3c27

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sooty4472.bsky.social•3 days ago

Mag Lev

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zabroglexis.bsky.social•3 days ago

That would explain a lot if we lived in Bugs Bunny's world.

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funkboxing.bsky.social•3 days ago

They're planning to replace it with a suction cup to increase efficiency.

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msbak.bsky.social•3 days ago

Scary😆🤣😂

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meggies123.bsky.social•3 days ago

"Winston Churchill once famously observed that Americans will always do the right thing, only after they have tried everything else."
THE RIGHT THING IS GET OUT ON THE STREET SCREAMING INTO THEIR COWARD FACES.

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doctorpaperwaste.bsky.social•3 days ago

It's raining men! Hallelujah

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halfordb.bsky.social•3 days ago

Wow! What a dildo!🤮

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wingedbusdriver.bsky.social•2 days ago

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dh1969.bsky.social•2 days ago

As a Canadian I hope America is as lucky as the Delta Jet. Everyone survives except for the right wing.

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katznjazz.bsky.social•3 days ago

😆

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viktoryous.bsky.social•3 days ago

He's not the president though......right? 🤭

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warwilf.bsky.social•3 days ago

Trump demands General Electric tell him where the tiny people in the TV come from and if they are documented.

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thepowerdroid.bsky.social•3 days ago

I thought it was wires..............

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matthewhallthegay.bsky.social•2 days ago

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/trump-congress-political-violence

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ch0c0l4t3m1lk.bsky.social•3 days ago

Now, all I know about magnets is this: Give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that's the end of the magnets

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karmacycle.bsky.social•3 days ago

Love ya, Onion, but to be honest, it’s becoming less and less funny to mock Trump’s dismantling of every safety net in America, particularly the FAA. We’re fucked. Hilarious.

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sdambrosio.bsky.social•3 days ago

😡 he really is CRAZY - to old & not pragmatic enough to be rational 😳

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gabepuratekuta.bsky.social•3 days ago

Well, the engines do keep the planes in the same location and move reality instead.

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ailerons.bsky.social•3 days ago

This is how I feel about the gyro compass having to be recalibrated every 15 minutes because North has rotated away since the last time you calibrated it

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huh-nope.bsky.social•2 days ago

Back when America was Great, the FAA used the rubber bands. Bands. Made of rubber. The GOOD rubber bands

These new complicated magnets, nobody even knows how they work. NOBODY. You toss a glass of water out of a plane's window on a magnet and bing bing bing BANG, there goes the magnet, zooom BOOOOM

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irish49.bsky.social•2 days ago

He's so freaking stupid, it's embarrassing.

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l0urd3scorrea.bsky.social•3 days ago

When the weather machine is going to be turn off.

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kaniki1990.bsky.social•2 days ago

Maybe we’ll get lucky and one will find him

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xrnohporter.bsky.social•3 days ago

There's the sign post up ahead...

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poloniumreal.bsky.social•2 days ago

such a shame

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db1105.bsky.social•3 days ago

He wears more makeup than RuPaul. Is he transitioning?

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marterlor.bsky.social•3 days ago

So funny if wasn't sad.

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gr82bus.bsky.social•3 days ago

Are his tiny doll hands getting smaller?

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gr82bus.bsky.social•3 days ago

"Some people don't know this, but magnets don't work in water."

#trumplard gives college classes on magnets.

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kempercommajeff.bsky.social•2 days ago

Unplug it, sure...just don't get it wet...waitwaitwait...
Has he confused magnets with mogwais?
Has anybody heard him say anything about feeding magnets after midnight?
I think this might be another "asylum seekers = asylum patients" thing. I'm starting to think...maybe this guy...isn't.... smart.

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rdanforth.bsky.social•2 days ago

They must have shut off the machine that controls weather too. That explains why it's so damn cold here.

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onebadddude.bsky.social•3 days ago

The only reliable news source left, thank you for bringing us the facts!

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mothman46.bsky.social•3 days ago

Great, Now we won’t be able to control the hurricane machine!

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internetoracle.bsky.social•3 days ago

This is an obvious lie.
If they turned the magnet off how would billionaires travel in their spaceships?
Some people are so gullible....

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cxmcha.bsky.social•3 days ago

Please don’t tell me he said that I really think he’s reverting back to his childhood

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dogchoke.bsky.social•2 days ago

Finally I will get my Hammer back!!

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bumble-b-rynn.bsky.social•3 days ago

The sad thing is even as satire that's infuriatingly believable.

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adoboblue.bsky.social•3 days ago

Damn. Will He also cut the fuel subsidy that powers our Sun🤣?

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resipsa1954.bsky.social•3 days ago

😆😆

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innofillomen.bsky.social•3 days ago

Imagine how bat shit insane you gotta make things on the onion now because parody has become reality

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mdgh.bsky.social•3 days ago

We all know of something else that needs to be unplugged

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sidfinancy.bsky.social•3 days ago

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queensassycat.bsky.social•2 days ago

I knew someone would do it

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josh-boolean.bsky.social•3 days ago

People are burning cars, planes are crashing, DC has massive unemployment, Canada is boycotting the U.S., Mex is talking to China, Europe is arming itself, prices are rising, and banks are deregulated against the consumer.This is America being great a gain...where...in hell?

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vickylacour.bsky.social•3 days ago

Here’s an idea 💡 send Doge to all major grocery store and look at what they pay vs what they are charging the American people. Cut the overcharging, limit the profits!

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michaelov.bsky.social•3 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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camille.tec.br•3 days ago

Please don’t give flat eathers any more ideas!

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ggelsrinc.bsky.social•3 days ago

I was told the magnet failed due to rain water affecting its use!

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arkayne242.bsky.social•3 days ago

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eifelrally.bsky.social•1 day ago

Someone should take Trump and his family on a diving trip into the Mariana Trench

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zombiebuffalo.bsky.social•2 days ago

As long as no one puts the magnet under water, it should be fine.

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skowalchuk.bsky.social•3 days ago

The giant magnet offsets the giant faucet.

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fpardalis.bsky.social•3 days ago

If he pulls the plug on the vacuum that keeps the trains on the tracks, we’re all doomed.

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guidojcruz.bsky.social•3 days ago

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intractable-exp.bsky.social•3 days ago

Trying to decide if that's less terrifying than the real Dump...

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guidojcruz.bsky.social•3 days ago

This is an “specimen” in a museum in Ronda, Spain.

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intractable-exp.bsky.social•3 days ago

Do you think they'd be willing to take him as another "specimen"?

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oakbearnca.bsky.social•3 days ago

Call it DEI but the gay guy kept them there.

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tonysoprano77vw.bsky.social•2 days ago

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tom2050.bsky.social•2 days ago

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miketalonnyc.bsky.social•3 days ago

let's see if we can get this trending enough that some MAGA starts swearing the magnet is still on!

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cheesearmy1.bsky.social•3 days ago

"nO gUYs hE dIdNt dEfUnD iT tHe mAgAnEt iS sTiLl oN"

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teresa48.bsky.social•3 days ago

I hope someone shows this post to the buffoon. He’ll believe it and send a team out looking for the magnet.

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ti99kitty.bsky.social•3 days ago

Actually, all he did was pour a glass of water on it.

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readertabitha.bsky.social•1 day ago

😄😄😄 so apropos for depicting the craziness of Trump ! He even said there was no problem in the Middle East when he left. Really ? What about Afghanistan where he negotiated for the release of 5,000 Taliban ? Syria ? the war between Israel and Hamas, Israel and Hezbollah, and the Houthis vs. Israel?

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amenokoe.bsky.social•3 days ago

It must be hard thinking of outlandish headlines lately. Everything meant to be obvious satire now feels like it might actually be something he said. Which is fucked up in and of itself...

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