Department Of Education Sternly Announces It Is Counting To 3 theonion.com/departm... - ThreadSky

badassfreeman.bsky.social•2 days ago

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bradfos.bsky.social•2 days ago

Didn't realize numbers went that high

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drawsacat.bsky.social•2 days ago

Can the new Trump toady count that high?

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james-rice.bsky.social•2 days ago

They can only count to four.

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carbonoxidizer.bsky.social•2 days ago

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bkohatl.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Did you know 12-year-old Donald Trump was not asked back for the next year at his elite Kew-Forest Prep School because he was a bully? Do you know what we did with Autistic, Mentally Challenged and Handicapped kids before Jimmy Carter's created The Department of Education? WAREHOUSED/BULLIED THEM

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thepowerdroid.bsky.social•2 days ago

They will have to write 100 times "I will not fuck with the educational system of the United States", and you have to write out 'United States' and not put 'US'.

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luis-san.bsky.social•2 days ago

If I could read, I'm sure I'd be outraged.

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mosesherrera.bsky.social•1 day ago

Other than trans students, what else is in school toilets?

Your children's reading scores. Get back to basics!

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krisweinschenker.bsky.social•2 days ago

But approves plans to designate "2+2=5"

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tysonburn.bsky.social•2 days ago

Everyone quiet! I am counting to three! Sit down Donny, don't make me tell you again! JD, quit kicking Vlad's chair or I will look the other way when he kicks your ass at recess.

One!...

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mandahlblue.bsky.social•2 days ago

We’ll know we’re back on track when spelling and grammar improve. Perhaps DOE can do something about coup de tats. Please.

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applescruff909.bsky.social•2 days ago

Just wait until they start flashing the lights on and off. That's when they mean business.

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huh-nope.bsky.social•1 day ago

They're BLUFFING! Ya can push 'em until they flick the lights off and on.

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njladeee.bsky.social•2 days ago

Who's getting sent to the corner... even better who's getting sent to the principal's office, scratch that...just send them to the corner.

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jeslass.bsky.social•2 days ago

He will soon be gone, and so will the Republican Party!!

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dougiecyanide.bsky.social•2 days ago

Sesame Street hooked me up to at least being able to count to 12.

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perpetuallypunked.bsky.social•2 days ago

Torcida!

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dougiecyanide.bsky.social•2 days ago

You know! 😊

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vflowers84.bsky.social•2 days ago

Damn. This is harsher than Sen. Dick Durbin writing a strongly worded letter.

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brigadier-whiskers.bsky.social•2 days ago

Get the ruler out Department of Ed and start smacking nazi ass!

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ripmcstudly.bsky.social•2 days ago

With a McMahon at the helm, they’ll only hit that three count if it boosts sales for an arrogant asshole.

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frosstkatt.bsky.social•2 days ago

I wish valve would do this

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sdvibe.bsky.social•2 days ago

What I'd really like the new DOE to do, though, is the accounting for where all the 💰 will go. You may be able to count to 3, but can you count where the money is going and to whom?

PS - as with slavery, the goal is to keep the captive population illiterate and powerless.

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yamihatarou.bsky.social•1 day ago

Take that Valve

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samjung24.bsky.social•2 days ago

The Onion struggling lately to be funnier and outrageous than the actual news.

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kisforcrafty.bsky.social•2 days ago

Ask your congresspeople to boycott the State of the Union Address and hold a state-wide town hall instead!

Text SIGN PFOHWU to 50409 to send this letter to both of your U.S. senators plus the U.S. representative from your district. Resistbot will make sure it goes to the right people.

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toddadam.bsky.social•2 days ago

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larrydill.bsky.social•1 day ago

It’s gonna take a lot more than 3 at this point!

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andyhuneycutt.bsky.social•2 days ago

Did someone say Count

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hedwigowlett.bsky.social•2 days ago

2. 2 1/4. 2 1/3. 2 1/2. 2 2/3. 2 3/4..... Now we are switching to 8ts, later to 16s, and in a bit 32nds will appear.

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rodericka1.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is actually more than Randi Weingarten and the AFT are currently doing.

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jamesschilf.bsky.social•2 days ago

The Onion has to step up its game
Your headlines are too close to reality

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crunchy-snail.bsky.social•2 days ago

…while holding its breath.

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mikeshands.bsky.social•2 days ago

Speaking of counts…

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riilley.bsky.social•2 days ago

Follow me I'll DM you

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tildenthorne.bsky.social•2 days ago

This is my great grandfather who helped establish the California Teacher’s Association as a power house in education (until it was gutted). In these shots,we see who he is speaking to (I have another with LBJ). The murder of the DoE marks the destruction of 3 generations of my family’s work…

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tildenthorne.bsky.social•2 days ago

To say I am filled with hate and contempt at what has been done to American education by the right does not even begin to explain my feelings.

The death of our nation started with the destruction of the work men like my great grandfather spent their lives on. Breaking education broke the US…

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markabaddon.bsky.social•2 days ago

Can they count that high?

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