CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO theonion.com/ceo-wor... - ThreadSky

hey, it worked for @svengoolieofficial.bsky.social

jadena102010.bsky.social•20 hours ago

I don’t understand why poor people act as if they can’t move up in the world, this fine man proved that with hard work and nepotism you can achieve anything!

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mynameis-rhyme.bsky.social•1 day ago

The success story really inspires me to pull myself up by my bootstraps

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turblescelbor.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh so when I suck off the CEO and call him daddy for a promotion it's quid pro quo sexual harassment. When he does it it's called nepotism.

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

If the CEO's son is sucking him off for a promotion, that'd be *incest* and quid pro quo sexual harassment.

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alazer.bsky.social•1 day ago

I love feel good stories <3

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plee309.bsky.social•1 day ago

Hard work getting his position as CEO from his CEO father. He had to face his peers and win the jungle primary of education in an elite schooling institution with a fancy sounding name. Those summers doing the rounds in Macau made him realize the value of hard work.

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ezbenson.bsky.social•1 day ago

#BeenBalled

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ryanburchett.bsky.social•1 day ago

He used to be a baby. Now look!

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trappedinamerica.bsky.social•1 day ago

Born on third base with daddies money at bat.

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rubyinwolfland00.bsky.social•1 day ago

Merit based !

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mendimelon.bsky.social•1 day ago

How do I get some of that sweet, sweet, generational wealth?

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

For starters, you need the intelligence, determination, and sheer grit to be born into a wealthy family.

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mendimelon.bsky.social•1 day ago

So definitely not going all in on the Trump and Melania crypto tokens, eh? Damn. Feel so foolish.

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

I would have gone in on the Trump pump n dump scam... er... meme coin, but someone pointed out there were rules in place that prevented anyone but Trump and his cronies from owning enough to trigger a collapse before Trump was ready to dump.

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warwilf.bsky.social•1 day ago

Parenticide?

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mosesherrera.bsky.social•1 day ago

Somewhere there's another Luigi Mangione working his way out from under a rock.

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dblynch.bsky.social•1 day ago

🖕🏼😂

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nateboomdiggin.bsky.social•22 hours ago

The secret to getting rich is having rich parents

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davidkister.bsky.social•1 day ago

😂

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turntopagex.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Self made man-sion!

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jmkidd.bsky.social•1 day ago

Onion, please keep doing what you do.

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vanlighet.bsky.social•1 day ago

😆😆😆

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arch45.bsky.social•1 day ago

He started out at the top though.

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katejackson.bsky.social•1 day ago

So merit. Very quality. Much fair.

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bsorohan.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Started off in the mailroom with a $150K salary.

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midwaymoe.bsky.social•1 day ago

Free Luigi.

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saint-luigi.bsky.social•1 day ago

"People don't even know that we have political prisoners."
--Sekou Odinga

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magnus-pound.bsky.social•1 day ago

Ok libtards... THAT'S the way you do it! 🥰

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farleyfoofoo.bsky.social•1 day ago

Marjorie Traitor Greene hunting for Trump's turds to eat.
It's her Eater Egg hunt. 💩

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wjb-co2004.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Yes, he pulled himself up by the shoelaces of his Louis Vuittons! 😏

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opportunemarmoset.bsky.social•1 day ago

It's funny because everyone who owns anything is a worthless subhuman parasite who's continued existence makes humanity less morally valuable. Funny.

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hauntactor.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Sounds like my day job

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rogerdempsey.bsky.social•19 hours ago

He started at the bottom of the executive ladder!

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marts-thoughts.bsky.social•1 day ago

It worked for Trump.

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ambinta.bsky.social•1 day ago

We stan a self made man. Had to inherit that company all by himself

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iowanative.bsky.social•1 day ago

There is not an issue facing this country that Trump can't make, and honestly hasn't already made worse.

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dinar.bsky.social•1 day ago

Starting as an entry level Executive Vice President, working his way up to CEO after daddy died — this billionaire offspring shares his wisdom on the importance of meritocracy.

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elizabethrivian.bsky.social•1 day ago

Every one of them!

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green2656.bsky.social•1 day ago

😂😂😂

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dirtywater22.bsky.social•1 day ago

😀

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dustinducane.bsky.social•1 day ago

@richfann.bsky.social what about son in law

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lilmayers.bsky.social•1 day ago

OBVIOUSLY pulled himself up by the bootstraps 💪🏼
🙄🤮

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donovon.dev•1 day ago

A mere loan of a million dollars.

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ex-xer.bsky.social•1 day ago

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

TBF, he didn't follow in his father's footsteps. RFK was a lawyer, attorney general, and senator famous for fighting for civil rights and against organized crime. RFK Jr is a lawyer and conman who's famous for getting paid to do anti-vaxx advocacy and crack-pot conspiracies.

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ex-xer.bsky.social•10 hours ago

Buzz kill.
Thanks for the edjumication.

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aramis161.bsky.social•1 day ago

Capitalism is not dead its simply genetic defect due to hereditary mutations. That's comforting.

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edwardgivens.bsky.social•1 day ago

"When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds."

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kevanaponte.bsky.social•1 day ago

0118999881999119725 … 3

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edwardgivens.bsky.social•1 day ago

nicer ambulances, faster response times, and better-looking drivers mean they're not just the emergency services! they're YOUR emergency services!

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kevanaponte.bsky.social•1 day ago

Now hold on a moment, sugar tits.

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jivealchemy.bsky.social•1 day ago

⛑️HAHAHAHAHA!!!⛑️

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ufomitzidino.bsky.social•1 day ago

Son of a CEO is the best insult EVER

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drwhooligan.bsky.social•1 day ago

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crumpeta.bsky.social•1 day ago

Courageous.

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markwojo.bsky.social•15 hours ago

Lucky sperm club

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jontybeeswax.bsky.social•12 hours ago

No-one appreciates the sacrifices that you have to make in a world where everything's handed to you on a silver platter. With a little bow on it. By your butler.

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jehid.bsky.social•1 day ago

The struggle must've been real 😮‍💨

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evelaraevia.bsky.social•1 day ago

I didn't know the onion occasionally reported on true events 😂

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am-mccarthy.bsky.social•1 day ago

Pulled up those silver bootstraps

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jeffadler.bsky.social•1 day ago

the struggle is real

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simulacrandrew.bsky.social•22 hours ago

The American way.

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ryanhofmann10.bsky.social•1 day ago

Real, and now he’s real important in DOGE.

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bork-n-bite.bsky.social•1 day ago

Diabolical lmfao

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stormwyrm.org•1 day ago

In other news, king worked way up from prince.

We might as well be in some kind of feudal monarchy for all our pretensions to democracy. More true in some places of the world than others but that's the trend.

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patrickpoll.bsky.social•20 hours ago

The American Dream

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notdontrmp.bsky.social•1 day ago

WOW! Inspiring! Truly the American Dream—starting from NOTHING (except millions in generational wealth, elite connections, and a safety net the size of Texas). Hard work? Please. This is how the RIGGED system keeps the ultra-rich on top while everyone else scraps for crumbs. TOTAL SCAM!🧅

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phantomghost0012.bsky.social•1 day ago

Amazing profile

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notdontrmp.bsky.social•1 day ago

THANK YOU, phantomghost0012! LDJT

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glowdonk.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Nepobaby

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is the type of meritocracy that made America what it is today. And to think we almost let DEI kill it.

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pnumbers.bsky.social•1 day ago

Illegitimate child
Or regular?

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xvf17.bsky.social•1 day ago

Bring back Area Man.

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ryenflint.bsky.social•1 day ago

Literally describing the CEO of the company I work for.

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lilnibbler.bsky.social•1 day ago

He worked really hard at being son of CEO and finally achieved his dream of being handed life on a gold platter.

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thisonesamy.bsky.social•1 day ago

There is soviet joke about it:
Colonel's son ask:
-Dad, will I be captain?
-Yeah
-Dad, will I be major?
-Yeah
-Dad, will I be colonel?
-Yeah
-Dad, will I be general?
-No
-Why?
-General has kids too

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sdvibe.bsky.social•1 day ago

Son was quoted as saying, "I don't think people understand how hard it is to keep my father happy, how critical he is over every little detail of the stupid business. It's like he actually wants me to understand what we're doing. Meanwhile, I'm out here busting my butt networking in the Caicos."

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wester6.bsky.social•1 day ago

Bootstraps work. Sort of.😒

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danylwms.bsky.social•1 day ago

I guess you all are not afraid of being sued by FFOTUS?

Love it!

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nhhal.bsky.social•1 day ago

Pulled himself up from his boostaps

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sno74.bsky.social•1 day ago

Meritocracy at its best.kind of like 47 and his vp and cabinet.

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bdgiddens6.bsky.social•1 day ago

😂

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tavia454.bsky.social•1 day ago

The problem with this cuntry in a nutshell 🙄

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frankiefie.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Onion on fire today.

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bigworker.bsky.social•1 day ago

He used to be a nepobaby, but now he's not a baby anymore

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jc-allen.bsky.social•1 day ago

Physiologically, perhaps. But I'm willing to bet he's still a big ol' baby mentally.

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leafybins.bsky.social•1 day ago

Capitalist. Executive. Order.

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electricidea.bsky.social•1 day ago

The American dream.

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c-n-e.bsky.social•14 hours ago

That’s as good as “sleeping his way to the top”

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aliciam1.bsky.social•1 day ago

In these crazy times, The Onion is printing the truth.

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bigcrazewolf.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wow, I'm not sure if I should laugh or die . . .

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rsmoore1.bsky.social•1 day ago

Son of CEO is one of the hardest positions to get.

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nerdicorgi.bsky.social•1 day ago

In fairness, his mom got him that position by assuming one of her own.

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jules82.bsky.social•1 day ago

Just call it. A Nepo Baby. 🤨

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alastairmcgowan.bsky.social•1 day ago

A nepo baby doesn't put in the rags to riches work of the son of CEO who eventually after decades of self sacrifice makes it through all the odds to CEO

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kupitjipi.bsky.social•1 day ago

Nah, a nepo baby starts at the bottom, may or may not put in a lot of work, and regardless has many more doors opened for them on the way up because of their name. They might sometimes be the best for the job. They might be one of a few decent applicants. They might be neither when doors open

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jules82.bsky.social•1 day ago

Well I guess if it looks like shit and smells like shit….

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