4-Year-Old Calls 911 To Report Mom For Eating His Ice Cream theonion.com/4-year-... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 19 hours ago

4-Year-Old Calls 911 To Report Mom For Eating His Ice Cream
https://theonion.com/4-year-old-calls-911-to-report-mom-for-eating-his-ice-cream/

Comments

robbedoflife.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Oddly enough kids have called the police for some strange reasons so this could have happened 🤣

jc-allen.bsky.social•17 hours ago

It *did* happen. This is from the American Voices column, which flips the usual Onion script. The news item is always genuine. It's the opinions and the people who give them that are made up.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/4-year-boy-calls-911-after-bad-mom/story?id=119659249

jasonthephotog.bsky.social•16 hours ago

I don't answer questions

shadoelandman.bsky.social•10 hours ago

Naw, naw, naw, that story is too real

duckyleehazards.bsky.social•2 hours ago

Hope the judge charges her with a hate crime.

iranphotos.bsky.social•17 hours ago

I’m guessing the mother is already punished enough for having such a genius as her kid. 😁

jc-allen.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Apple rarely falls far from the tree.

lunav.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Good one, Onion

jamieross111.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Quite right

perfectslumber.bsky.social•17 hours ago

The onion is too real these days

davidgoesplaces.bsky.social•16 hours ago

To be fair, I think The Onion has stayed the same and the world has become a parody of itself.

wowbobwowx.bsky.social•19 hours ago

Probably in Florida

junglewuv.bsky.social•18 hours ago

real

hoodyindy.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Is his name X?

allisgroovey.bsky.social•18 hours ago

A friend’s grandchild called 911 when her parent’s took away her iPhone. It happens.

karmasdad.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Yowza! The Quote!!!

purplegobbo.bsky.social•16 hours ago

Okay but this is really something that happened 🤣

noorkhalil.bsky.social•16 hours ago

The ones with reactions are based on real headlines! (As far as I've noticed)

jc-allen.bsky.social•17 hours ago

Isn't that just darling? Before you know it, he'll be calling 911 because the line at the fast food drive thru is too long, The grocery store cashier won't accept his expired coupons, or he noticed some black people minding their own business in public.

drive-in-radio.bsky.social•18 hours ago

damn that's a good joke

swmark78.bsky.social•18 hours ago

I had a cousin was 2 when she called 911 to tell them that "the Wicked Witch" was chasing her around the house. Once my aunt was able to get the phone to conversation went something like this...

Dispatcher: Is this the Wicked Witch?
Aunt: It is.
D: How old is your daughter? 4 or 5?
A: 2
D: Oh lord!

kelleyfromtx.bsky.social•15 hours ago

Call the police to help with a problem. Now you have two problems.

dianaparker.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Hahaha Was just talking to my partner about when to teach our kids to not talk to police and the answer was, it’s never too soon.

ndloveinterest.bsky.social•18 hours ago

This is what happens when you let the kids watch Paw Patrol.

jeanette73.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Just came home to an outraged 8yo demanding to know who ate her chocolate bar out of the freezer... Checks out

cointelpronoun.bsky.social•16 hours ago

Oof

jusnews.bsky.social•6 hours ago

4 year old said, "Bitch ate my Ice Cream!"

shake1n1bake.bsky.social•18 hours ago

🔥🔥🔥

k-u2-l8r.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Today I learned that 311 is a thing in a lot of cities. Huh. Who'da thunk?

This makes The Onion less satirical than Fox.

newman4554.bsky.social•18 hours ago

that's one ugly 4 year old

jaytaylordet.bsky.social•18 hours ago

Hello Newman. You realize they're using same pictures (on rotation) for these jokes for last 15+ years or so.

jc-allen.bsky.social•17 hours ago

They've used the same 6 pictures since the very beginning way back when it was still just a free printed indie 'zine in Madison, WI. It's one of the few original touches they've kept over the years.

newman4554.bsky.social•15 hours ago

I apologize, chap. That's one ugly 19+ years old

mikeshands.bsky.social•8 hours ago

But the joke was on him when the cops showed up with a no-knock warrant and shot him in the hallway 🤦‍♂️

aphotescent.bsky.social•3 hours ago

They eat the rest of the ice cream after to celebrate

giggleit.bsky.social•18 hours ago

The mother's lawyers have so far refrained from commenting

jasonthephotog.bsky.social•16 hours ago

She can't confirm her whereabouts on that night in question.

tallrussell.bsky.social•14 hours ago

As a dad with a neurodiverse child with a significant speech delay I want to applaud the real 4 year old boy for being so clear with their idea and speech. Well done, little man.

lenorekay.bsky.social•18 hours ago

My granddaughter once called 911 because her mom ran out of waffle-os.

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