God Really Dreading Visit From Older Brother Who Made Much More Successful Cosmos theonion.com/god-rea... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 4 days ago

God Really Dreading Visit From Older Brother Who Made Much More Successful Cosmos
https://theonion.com/god-really-dreading-visit-from-older-brother-who-made-m-1833378515/

Comments

badassfreeman.bsky.social•4 days ago

Yeah, no kidding. If this "God" people seem to believe in made Earth and all of us, then what the fuck was he/she/they even thinking bruh

I'd be begging to go back to the primordial soup if any of that religious nonsense was worth giving a shit out

chainek.bsky.social•4 days ago

This was literally in Miracle Workers

flyingfish765.bsky.social•4 days ago

Wait, there is more than one?

15112024.bsky.social•1 day ago

Dagon or El

and i say caanite Dagon, not lovecraft dagon

cinamngrl514.bsky.social•4 days ago

@godpod.bsky.social

petrapc.bsky.social•4 days ago

Yeah, it's his brother Simon.

brokensymmetry.art•4 days ago

Spoilers for Miracle Workers season 1 here geez

puckbuddys.bsky.social•4 days ago

Buscemi as the illiterate God, such a great performance. I love that show.

brokensymmetry.art•4 days ago

It's so fucking funny, maybe season 3 a bit less but then 4 is right back to that crazy level. One of the best recent comedies

puckbuddys.bsky.social•4 days ago

Dark Ages was my favorite.

kacemlemoel.bsky.social•4 days ago

It wouldn't be so bad if there was no snide remark to be expected from their mom.

asadiablo.me•4 days ago

Paging @godpod.bsky.social , what of this brother you haven't mentioned?

michael-ka.bsky.social•4 days ago

i mean, the bar is not that high

rienklaassen.bsky.social•4 days ago

This feels like it would make an excellent family guy cutaway

daveapong.bsky.social•4 days ago

“Jeez, Lois. This is worse than when God got showed up by his brother.”

rienklaassen.bsky.social•4 days ago

Scene plays in the clouds, where god invites a bunch of fellow for a party, greeting them.

“Hey, jesus, come in. Sup Noah, long time no see. Oh-“ *begrudgingly* “hi allah…”

Allah then acts like that one partygoer who owns a Ferrari and a large mansion and works as a professional footballer

subtlefire.bsky.social•4 days ago

Mohammed said he can't make an appearance
https://youtu.be/KtwvpuP5EXk

cchampagne.bsky.social•4 days ago

I’m guessing his brother actually sought input from the denizens of his cosmos instead of just trying to unilaterally dictate every decision like he knows what’s best for everyone.

goink.bsky.social•4 days ago

Oh shoot the Mormons were right

quohaug.bsky.social•4 days ago

Oh Rob

ayoungethan.bsky.social•4 days ago

Even the omnipotent have to deal with family systems

r00n321.bsky.social•4 days ago

Just my luck to get stuck in a second class universe.

84mm.bsky.social•4 days ago

the thankscreating family reunions are a sight to behold

slriley.com•4 days ago

Older brothers are a pain in the ass.

altrocks.bsky.social•4 days ago

George Lucas?

jaybryant.bsky.social•4 days ago

That seriously explains a few things.

frothythesquirrel.bsky.social•4 days ago

@godpod.bsky.social

Can I move to that reality? This one sucks...

gabepuratekuta.bsky.social•4 days ago

"Yo, Elohim!"
"Hi, Brendan..."

hannahholdon.bsky.social•4 days ago

Based on my understanding of the bible, he should be mortified.

laustia.bsky.social•4 days ago

Oh no!
@godpod.bsky.social

elsargentogarcia.bsky.social•4 days ago

It’s Jesus’ favorite uncle because he always let him play with black holes.

newmessage.bsky.social•4 days ago

Which explains the old hymn... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh6fwho3jBQ

dtk371.bsky.social•4 days ago

Philomena said it was Simon.

thorvalhallen.bsky.social•4 days ago

https://youtu.be/Q-CHL_ZHOu0?feature=shared

shenannigans.bsky.social•4 days ago

He's so damn funny in this show

cian-j-mitchell.bsky.social•4 days ago

He was able to make cooler and much more interesting and diverse species on multiple planets

God made a few billion, half of which look super close to each other with just pallet swaps and two new features. God is just Capcom making Monster Hunter games. He should dread.

johnignatiusriley.bsky.social•4 days ago

Yeah that Yaldabaoth/JHVH pendejo is one shitty demiurge. Thought he was too stupid to realize it though.

zoroastriannomad.bsky.social•4 days ago

https://www.youtube.com/live/DWgFgOIXnEk?si=h_uzz8_oCMtNSGRs

trtown.bsky.social•4 days ago

"lmao what's all this shit going on on this blue planet, lil bro?"

crozet.bsky.social•4 days ago

Guess The onion missed Darwin's evolution class in school 🤡

drspochenk.bsky.social•4 days ago

2/3th of America ignores that class

crozet.bsky.social•4 days ago

You got a point here 😀

sofiyaasher.bsky.social•4 days ago

Not up to code?
https://www.npr.org/2025/03/20/nx-s1-5333843/dark-energy-weakening-universe-collapse-desi

supramortal.bsky.social•4 days ago

No that's intentional. The gods build planned obsolescence into every universe.

sofiyaasher.bsky.social•4 days ago

Then his older sibling would approve? 🤔

kattiarts.bsky.social•4 days ago

"Your cosmos has tiny lifeforms that WORSHIP you? That's pathetic lil' bro"

mrdes.bsky.social•4 days ago

😬

batmanaod.bsky.social•4 days ago

Netflix's She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, season 5

engineerlarry.bsky.social•4 days ago

That's what the Mormons say

ryenflint.bsky.social•4 days ago

Why's he always got to be so perfect. Gosh.

dopamachine.bsky.social•4 days ago

Season 1 of Miracle Workers

misterfox.bsky.social•4 days ago

annikawithoutpippi.bsky.social•4 days ago

i miss miracle workers so much

eateator.bsky.social•4 days ago

broke creatorist monotheism
woke pragmatic hierarchical spirituality

jerrod.bsky.social•4 days ago

Carl Sagan?

tvt1999.bsky.social•4 days ago

I'd be pissed tbh

geometricrazor.bsky.social•4 days ago

Well... I have to agree that this one is not a success.....

timheffley.neocities.org•4 days ago

Anyone have a spare invite code to that universe?

somehooplehead.bsky.social•4 days ago

Its only any good because it's devoid of people.

You'd ruin it.

milesbenjamin.bsky.social•4 days ago

Can we please elect a new god?

godless2.bsky.social•4 days ago

Makes sense, our creator gets dutch rubs and purple nurples at family reunions.

radicalmovement.bsky.social•4 days ago

Nice. The Onion headline that hints at Mormon theology.

giggleit.bsky.social•4 days ago

And yet, he doesn’t accept any complaints or suggestions

imaginehimhappy.bsky.social•4 days ago

God's *step* bro

macabrechalice0.bsky.social•4 days ago

Better be careful with this report. the word is that God is a jealous god, and he might not take kindly to us humans knowing of better cosmoses. You see, he's just a very sensitive all-powerful deity of absolutely good and absolute evil. And his tantrums are terrible, according to the Torah.

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