For the love of god what is wrong with these people? - ThreadSky

bradmossesq.bsky.social • 12 days ago

For the love of god what is wrong with these people?

NEW memo from OPM acting director Chuck Ezell saying that fed employees should respond to the 5 bullets email by the 11:59pm deadline tonight unless they had an excused absence today. Absolute madness.

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cooper1957.bsky.social•12 days ago

Does the dog ate the memo count?

deedoherty.bsky.social•12 days ago

I assume it's the ketamine, LSD, mushrooms, cocaine, fentanyl, Ambien, modafinil, Xanax, Percocet, morphine, Valium, Ativan, and liquor.

hemibill.bsky.social•12 days ago

Sounds like he needs more. Does Dr. Kevorkian make house calls?

rldavenport.bsky.social•12 days ago

Sounds like their 5 things rotate between being told not to respond and then told to respond.

incompetusrex.bsky.social•12 days ago

It’s after nine. I assume the vast majority of federal employees went home hours ago after being told responding was voluntary.

sonofherby.bsky.social•12 days ago

My agency said don't respond. HHS said the email was likely monitored by a malignant foreign country. FBI, DOD, DOJ, said ignore it.

minnsylvanian.bsky.social•12 days ago

Bring a note from your mommy.

drylandgardener.bsky.social•12 days ago

This memo took a lot of time to draft, route for input and edits, finalize, and email.

Very efficient use of government time.

wheystandard.bsky.social•12 days ago

Also, lol, Musk (who is in the EOP) is exempt.

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

Dear President Musk,

Thank you for taking a keen interest in my work. As requested, here are my top 5 accomplishments this past week. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

Thanks again for taking a keen interest in my work. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. Just don't mark your response as “Urgent”, “Important”, or make any references to “deadlines” if you want your response to be seen.

Cheers!

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

5. Rearranged the Office Seating Chart for Maximum Conflict: I reassigned desks based on astrological compatibility, ensuring maximum personality clashes. We need to weed out those persons who can't survive in a competitive environment.

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

4. Optimized the Office Wi-Fi Security: I dramatically boosted internet security by resetting all passwords to random 128-character strings. The passwords are all stored in an encrypted wallet which can be accessed by anyone who knows the primary key, which is also 128 characters long.

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

3. Updated the Office Calendar: I scheduled random ‘mandatory’ meetings with vague titles like ‘Crisis Briefing’ and ‘Strategic Chaos Planning’ just to see who panics first. I hope this is the type of initiative you are looking for.

allenhoorn.bsky.social•12 days ago

2. Revamped the Email Filters for ‘Efficiency’: I've implemented a code-based algorithm that reroutes all emails containing the words ‘urgent,’ ‘important,’ or ‘deadline’ to spam folders for all within my agency. Per existing protocols, spam is deleted. Productivity has never been so peaceful.

radicalopathy.bsky.social•12 days ago

How much time do you have?

melissaf.bsky.social•12 days ago

They think they’re a grade school admin?

lizzie-in-ca.bsky.social•12 days ago

Too many things to list but it is really funny that the memo actually says the President is exempt from the exercise 🤪

stacijroth.bsky.social•12 days ago

They're incapable of feeling, anything. They don't give a flying fuq in a rolling donut, and I'm thinking the public response is going to get a lot more drastic before the year's out.

mullinshere.bsky.social•12 days ago

Drugs, I suspect.

sybilltrelawney.bsky.social•12 days ago

So they didn’t hear about the “never mind” email? Or they’re rescinding the “never mind” email with the “never mind the never mind email”?

ksakers.bsky.social•12 days ago

What a shit show of conflicting non-guidance. At least it was a catharsis that produced some great humor from our clever & creative workforce. And hey, if you're gonna fire me, I'll have that much more free time to devote to protesting you motherfuckers right out of office. 🖕

grumpyfinfan.bsky.social•12 days ago

This kid has an excuse.. I thought they were supposed to be fixing this shitshow. Nope. Tomorrow there will be another memo directing the readers of this memo that the next meno will fully explain the first email but you must refer to the original memo that refers to the list of directors..

flick131.bsky.social•12 days ago

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/susan-collins-trump-mass-firings-big-problem-1235277316/

flick131.bsky.social•12 days ago

seekon.bsky.social•12 days ago

Is this 3rd grade? Hall passes are next

zefirotorna.bsky.social•11 days ago

What's wrong with Elon Musk?

soonergrunt.bsky.social•12 days ago

You know exactly what's wrong. They've said out loud that Federal Employees should be traumatized.
I don't know when that memorandum was sent, but USDA told everyone at 1400 ET that replying was optional.

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