I’ve interviewed a lot of victims stayed in an abusive relationship because they worried their loved ones would judge them for not leaving sooner. They needed support and they knew they would get ridicule instead.
And that’s something I’m thinking about a lot in this political environment.
And that’s something I’m thinking about a lot in this political environment.
Comments
Victims stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, but fear of the unknown and losing support from the people around them are very real fears.
We have to provide a safe alternative to be effective.
if the people said they would forgive anyone who came out against corruption and meant it, we'd have this wrapped up in a week
We just need to stop letting the desire for revenge eclipse the need to care for those harmed. But that doesn’t require pretending harm never happened. Quite the opposite.
the "guillotine or nothing" approach is why we get nothing
people need to stop thinking in terms of harm equalizing and more just overall harm reduction
And too many people project their anger at a perpetrator of harm onto the victims instead.
It’s a way perpetrators can push their victims out of the mold of “perfect victim” and break down solidarity. Again, it advances the idea that cruelty can be “deserved” and leads people to side with the perpetrator.
You’re condoning the perpetrator’s capacity to do harm.
Once they’re in the cult, they’re in.
Therapy is not an effective tool for intervening on abuses of power.
Which won’t hurt the oppressors, by the way. It will always be redirected at the marginalized.
A big part of the solution is having accountability processes that don’t require cruelty.
In that framework, it’s much easier to treat someone as victim and oppressor.
It’s a, “If we normalize cruelty, we will inadvertently abandon the victims and the fascists will use those cruelties to oppress us more” post.
From yr perspective, what's the best way to deal with voters who celebrated abuse for years when it was directed at others & only complain when they are directly affected?
If they can join in that work, then I say they’re welcome. We should demand they shift their ideology to ours, not the other way around.
It’s crazy how quickly the lust for punishment eclipses care for the victim. And that’s exactly the point I’m trying to make here.
People want punishment so badly that they’ll point their weapons anywhere to get it—including at victims they think “deserved” it.