I don't think about the sexual partners I've had in terms of "Body Count." Instead I add up all their weights and contemplate the Gross Tonnage - ThreadSky

hausofdecline.bsky.social • 23 days ago

I don't think about the sexual partners I've had in terms of "Body Count." Instead I add up all their weights and contemplate the Gross Tonnage

Comments

lucky1nce.bsky.social•22 days ago

I like talking about my past lovers in a way that resembles a veteran talking about the soldiers they've killed conflict.

alexdarigan.bsky.social•22 days ago

This comment presents to me a hilarious voltron image to me.

rudemorgue.bsky.social•22 days ago

Surely this is the perfect opportunity to measure something in metric fucktons.

007bistromath.bsky.social•22 days ago

not too many takers but I'm a chubby chaser so I make it up in volume

farmersboy.bsky.social•19 days ago

Like a U-boat captain.

miley-not-cyrus.bsky.social•23 days ago

Since human body weight fluctuates are you doing current weight or weight at time of doing the sex?

sailormontada.bsky.social•22 days ago

To be accurate, the average weight of the partner among every sexual encounter

miley-not-cyrus.bsky.social•22 days ago

Me calling up people:
“Hey do you remember how much you weighed on December 3rd, 2007? I have several more dates to check too”

sailormontada.bsky.social•22 days ago

Unhinged, but necessary, in the name of science

huff-the-dragon.bsky.social•22 days ago

Lmao

lilyryona.bsky.social•22 days ago

I never talk about my body count because nobody will find them anyway.

dukevulture.bsky.social•22 days ago

My body count be like

frollino95.bsky.social•22 days ago

i dont give a shit about partner density so i go for volume

redrook1.bsky.social•22 days ago

But then you meet one person whose weight to partner ratio average is alarmingly low, and you gotta call the cops on them.

dukecarge.bsky.social•23 days ago

Big Netflix this is how I count views energy from this

areallion.bsky.social•22 days ago

I like to count pounding by ounce.

mattwho.bsky.social•22 days ago

Gross

ohnoitsleon.bsky.social•22 days ago

Still at 0 lbs 🙃

rattlesnakerose.bsky.social•22 days ago

If you’re in the tons you either have a fat fetish or have a lot of partners lol

litliper.bsky.social•22 days ago

Not combined inches?

ezrik.bsky.social•22 days ago

Would you say that you add it up, here in your bedroom, ounce for ounce?

crpalwho.bsky.social•22 days ago

Literally the weight of your actions, I kinda love it

onino.bsky.social•22 days ago

"I have fucked 1.2 metric tonnes of humans. If you were to squeeze them all into a single mass, it would be the largest meatball you had ever seen."

No, I get that. It sounds way more cool that way

zellyn.bsky.social•22 days ago

aquakong.bsky.social•22 days ago

Hey this is incredible

jaidernunes.bsky.social•22 days ago

We should also measure dicks by weight instead of length.

neurionsa.bsky.social•22 days ago

Surface area might be a fun metric

reboundmaterial.bsky.social•22 days ago

You can call me the USS Tang

ikemakos.bsky.social•22 days ago

ruthlessly cutting members of the polycule until it meets the limits set by the Second London Naval Treaty

revel10.bsky.social•22 days ago

16 tonnes and what do you get, another gay boner and deeper in men

sloth2.bsky.social•22 days ago

I do but that's because I fucked Ice-T.

rozbot.bsky.social•22 days ago

Pound for pound of pounds

albasteno.bsky.social•22 days ago

(trying to figure out how much of a slut someone is) so are we talkin toyota corolla or ford f-450

jsnfra.bsky.social•22 days ago

it had better be metric

cabalittle.bsky.social•22 days ago

There ain't nothing "Gross" about the tonnage I'm racking up baybee!

2890moshark2.bsky.social•22 days ago

LMFAO

peatbeans.bsky.social•22 days ago

I prefer feathers

docdiamondfire.bsky.social•22 days ago

Every time someone says body count I presume they killed someone.

gayratpunk.bsky.social•22 days ago

I hate that Body Count is used to mean how many people you've had sex with cause I still associate it with kills

whatistobedes.bsky.social•22 days ago

body count should only mean ice-t's metal band

b0tster.yeag.gay•22 days ago

haus ur fucking funny

ulture.bsky.social•22 days ago

wait. body count refers to sexual partners?? courts take bus driver-passenger confidentiality pretty seriously though right??

widdlywham.bsky.social•22 days ago

How very efficient!

nigeltheancient.bsky.social•22 days ago

"Total meat"

hettiebelleau.bsky.social•22 days ago

fucking only thick honies to get my numbers up

destroid.bsky.social•22 days ago

In the weight before or after cumming?

doggyvic.bsky.social•22 days ago

Have to factor in prize rules as well.

llewbu.bsky.social•22 days ago

we actually have a politician who runs on this platform

yourfemdomfriend.bsky.social•22 days ago

Litres of spilled fluids

uninformedloser.bsky.social•22 days ago

I don’t know my exact body count. I’ve blacked out before they open the door at least once… 🤦‍♀️

phantamsam.bsky.social•22 days ago

In other words, the flesh blob from the ending of Inside

halzaldivar.bsky.social•22 days ago

So this is what they mean by "running a train on someone"

ggpraziiberri.bsky.social•22 days ago

iamthewaffle.bsky.social•22 days ago

Oh, very good. Bravo 👏

boss5ever.bsky.social•22 days ago

Personally I maximize tonnage per partner 😏

karimancer.bsky.social•22 days ago

My body count is 2r((3/2)+a), solve for b

bellereverie.bsky.social•22 days ago

Truly not fair that you are this pretty, smart, AND funny.

algdesenha.bsky.social•22 days ago

Can you bench press your "Gross Tonnage"?

busyevie.bsky.social•22 days ago

I count volume by water-displaced

contagonist.bsky.social•22 days ago

Your standards are too low, you should aim upwards and make that a Fine Tonnage. You deserve it. You can have Fine Tonnage.

sharpestmarble.bsky.social•22 days ago

my mother appreciates that. she's glad to make up 95% of your partners by mass

nimbers.bsky.social•22 days ago

Always finding people to date and take out to specific restaurants for ideal weights to reach the funny numbers. 69 kg is easy, 420kg also, but 69 tons is going to take some work.

aquakong.bsky.social•22 days ago

It certainly is gr- oh did we all come in and comment that?