Mormon ISIS is one of the better case scenarios right now - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

iwriteok.bsky.social • 23 days ago

Mormon ISIS is one of the better case scenarios right now

Reposted from LOWρUFO 🇵🇦🇬🇱🇨🇦🇲🇽

They're going to create lib Mormon ISIS

Comments

cognito.bsky.social•23 days ago

I knew this was going to happen

rileyfromqueens.bsky.social•23 days ago

Mormons are all Maga crazies though… I grew up as one. I can not believe never-Mos are talking about the white horse prophecy. This is definitely the reality TV timeline and makes me think this is all scripted. The alternative is that humans are irredeemably cruel and willfully stupid.

bippity.bsky.social•23 days ago

Yup. The members are 75% in the tank maga. The leadership hates MAGA hard, on the record imploring people to not vote straight ticket/not hate immigrants $$$$, no one listens. They don’t have the juice to make members rise up against anything except their tax rate.

julesb2183.bsky.social•23 days ago

Look up the Danites.

julesb2183.bsky.social•23 days ago

Robert, you gotta do Brother Brigham. You just gotta.

xpchrispy.bsky.social•23 days ago

Without question one of THE great American bastards.

pereubu.bsky.social•23 days ago

Yeah, just was going to make this observation myself.

verlante.bsky.social•23 days ago

I'd pay good money to see this movie.

Good thing the news is free

msdobalina.bsky.social•23 days ago

Not for anyone with XX chromosomes.

iwriteok.bsky.social•23 days ago

look the only way to stop evangelical Christian ISIS is a Mormon ISIS, which we then defeat by releasing Regular ISIS into the environment

mxhrad.bsky.social•23 days ago

… and when winter rolls in, regular ISIS will freeze to death

drturdferguson.bsky.social•23 days ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9yruQM1ggc

mxhrad.bsky.social•23 days ago

Yup.

cee--dub.bsky.social•23 days ago

I could tolerate Mormon Dirty Soda

kaitensatsuma.bsky.social•23 days ago

They always knock at least

boristhewizard.bsky.social•23 days ago

Promise of life time of soaking in Mormon paradise.

beligerant-retailr.bsky.social•23 days ago

Any odds that we get the Burned Man out of this?

honkydgoofy.bsky.social•23 days ago

Honestly fine, at least in this timeline the odds Brando Sando end up in a camp are much lower and he gets to finish his body of work.

parkorloois.bsky.social•23 days ago

isnt this the plot for American Primeval??

ifight4them.bsky.social•23 days ago

We had a deep state. Maybe they can make a deeper state?

dsoliphant.bsky.social•23 days ago

What does an Egyptian goddess have to do with these idiots?

forzaroo.bsky.social•23 days ago

ISIS with magic underwear, riding into battle to the sound of the Osmonds

insipidtwaddle.bsky.social•23 days ago

Can't wait for Mitt Romney releasing promo videos to the press filmed in his massive, fortified cave system under Park City.

browwiw.bsky.social•23 days ago

I've decided that the most responsible thing I can do with my skill set is create a Dionysian cult of murder women. I don't doubt Sophie could wrench a prone man's head from his body.

mefcorv.bsky.social•23 days ago

Alright get cracking already.

browwiw.bsky.social•23 days ago

I am confident in your ability to pull a grown man's arm from it's moorings. You never need me to tell you that for it to be true.

mefcorv.bsky.social•23 days ago

this is what real support looks like.

browwiw.bsky.social•23 days ago

Be ungovernable. Learn the shepard's sling and javelin. You are a skirmisher. Be the Mistress of Raptors and Serpents.

marcblochead.bsky.social•23 days ago

*imagines the country being saved by Brandon Sanderson WAAAAGHing from the back of a Toyota Hilux 😂*

iwriteok.bsky.social•23 days ago

we've got Evangelical Christian ISIS right now, which can only be stopped by Mormon ISIS. once that gets out of hands we'll have to bring in regular ISIS to confront them, and then we bring in the Apoists to knock out that ISIS and finally bring democratic confederalism to this benighted land

xxbillieryderxx.bsky.social•23 days ago

The scariest part of the Mormons is that they’re TRYING to beckon the end times.

gutterman2010.bsky.social•23 days ago

So says you, I think Cathar ISIS is going to come in as a complete surprise and end up in charge.

totooria.bsky.social•23 days ago

the only way to stop a bad guy with an ISIS is a slightly less radicalized bad guy with an ISIS

locke2300.bsky.social•23 days ago

Working our way up the Great Chain of Being of religious radicals until we ultimately install into power the Seraphs (Quaker ISIS)

thinkingrealhard.bsky.social•23 days ago

Note to self: stay away from the mountain states.

umberhulk.bsky.social•23 days ago

And once winter comes the snakes all freeze to death!

azrielodin.bsky.social•23 days ago

You miscalculated. Global warming means that winters are not cold enough to kill the snakes.

thewillrogers.bsky.social•23 days ago

The Mormons I knew from high school have been posting "God will not be mocked" and sharing Army of God material so really I think Mormon ISIS isn't that far off either.

allavut.bsky.social•21 days ago

any thoughts about pickleball isis?

panactheos.bsky.social•23 days ago

I don't know why she swallowed the insurgent organization, perhaps she'll die.

hypermobilehyena.bsky.social•23 days ago

This was the one I was looking for

gammarae.design•23 days ago

I hate all this holy warring and yet NO BUTLERIAN JIHAD.

gammarae.design•23 days ago

Tho there's the shittier "Thou shalt not elect anyone in the semblance of a human mind."

geirdis.bsky.social•23 days ago

“Guys, if we introduce rabbits to Australia, there will always be a food supply!”

syntherella.bsky.social•23 days ago

"when wintertime rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death"

tawmussohhh.bsky.social•23 days ago

That’s the beauty part

mx-abies-mica.bsky.social•21 days ago

Next book, maybe?

y4k0vbl0mkin.bsky.social•23 days ago

I'll bring the Shia militias.

baddielynn.bsky.social•23 days ago

I have an idea for which ISIS to clean things up, if needed.

"To keep paths and ways in good order, to shatter earth and to make it firm are yours, Inana. To destroy, to build up, to tear out and to settle are yours, Inana."

Bonus: really strong trans rights once they're done.

deadindenver.bsky.social•23 days ago

It's gonna work this time

alikeleighstory.bsky.social•23 days ago

Well, goddamn it, “I don’t know why she swallowed the fly!”

scoobertdoobert69.bsky.social•23 days ago

If we gotta have a Mormon faction, can they at least be Mormon Mujahideen for the alliteration? Mormahideen if you wanna be cutesy but that might be a mouthful

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courtiscatwitch.bsky.social•22 days ago

I'm just waiting for the eventual typo which gets the ISS involved.

stungravy.bsky.social•23 days ago

sorry when do the falun gong acrobats come in

sleepyworker.bsky.social•23 days ago

Catholic ISIS meanwhile just sit around a feel guilty

differentsmoke.bsky.social•23 days ago

Or we'll bring up Atheist ISIS which will die out naturally due to lack of reproductive opportunities.

tojo2k.bsky.social•23 days ago

I don't know why she swallowed that fly...

quailinthecity.bsky.social•23 days ago

Can we make this our last round, this roller coaster's making me sick, if you could only flap those wings... https://youtu.be/Vq_BxPC1Aw4?si=rBbvOM7slxrV983U

phillphillphill.bsky.social•23 days ago

When do we release the cane toads?

missspiers.bsky.social•23 days ago

What the fuck did I miss this time? 😃

carrieleighc.bsky.social•23 days ago

Don't forget Buddhist Isis. Instead of self-immolation, they just burn it all down. 🔥

reluctantmonk.bsky.social•23 days ago

Buddhist ISIS intervenes near the end to make everyone sit down and be quiet until they calm down.

kenmegalopsuxos.bsky.social•23 days ago

Mormon ISIS will be Harry Dean Stanton in Big Love

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whoopseadayxe.bsky.social•23 days ago

Before the revolution: When the bough breaks.

hannibalstardew.bsky.social•23 days ago

But what about Kirkland Signature ISIS?

trenchologist.bsky.social•23 days ago

…perhaps she’ll die

dustycymbre.bsky.social•23 days ago

She's dead of course
My wife might see this and not get the reference so https://youtu.be/I4fHv08ZSbQ

alicepooper.bsky.social•23 days ago

Ah, the US foreign policy strategy

simplyjack.bsky.social•23 days ago

Tag Romney the next Augustus Caesar calling it right now

jctenton.bsky.social•23 days ago

if i have to pick i'll take an augustus over a sulla or marius

simplyjack.bsky.social•23 days ago

Trump is Sulla Obama is Marius.

amywestervelt.bsky.social•22 days ago

Mormon ISIS would at least be collectivists? grasping at straws

dreamingzen.bsky.social•23 days ago

Luddite ISIS is still a bit lost in the woods for all this

iwriteok.bsky.social•23 days ago

keeping Luddite ISIS in the wings in case we wind up needing a fourth ISIS

dreamingzen.bsky.social•23 days ago

We using smoke signals or just the usual hobo signs on trees?

jimisgrowing.bsky.social•23 days ago

We can use radios, and sat phones just not ones that are built on exploitation.

So yeah smoke signals it is.

azrielodin.bsky.social•23 days ago

I feel like this is an good moment to remind people you made an excellent podcast about Rojava: https://www.thewomenswar.com/

warrensrigley.bsky.social•23 days ago

When winter rolls around the democratic confederalists simply freeze to death.

danielalanbaker.bsky.social•23 days ago

Nah bro we redomesticate the pet dogs that went feral and for warmth we cuddle with the dogs in the shipping containers we took from Isis. After we plug the bullet hold and throw the bodies out. Gotta feed the dogs something.

vogonpoetry.live•23 days ago

When do we get to the marmosets?

jctenton.bsky.social•23 days ago

invasive species in australia except ISISes

mr-hops.bsky.social•23 days ago

So we end up with the invasive species killing WMD

VirusISIS

turingradius.bsky.social•23 days ago

*writes down "Cane Toads are ISIS"*

denalilobito.bsky.social•23 days ago

It’s kind of like the “Little Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly” logic.

spaghetti.expert•23 days ago

I know an old lady who swallowed an ISIS

profess0rjam.bsky.social•23 days ago

I'm sure this is some sort of Hearts of Iron mod

danielalanbaker.bsky.social•23 days ago

Omgthis made me lol irl my partner is like what’s so funny and I can’t stop

nhogan235.bsky.social•23 days ago

There was an old lady the swallowed a fly….

kimmylea.bsky.social•23 days ago

And then comes the Scientologists ...

molson.bsky.social•23 days ago

Catalina island was kind of a paradise, but then the early Spanish brought rats that overran the island. So they brought snakes to kill the rats. Then the snakes overran the island. So they brought over boars to kill the snakes. Now if you camp on Catalina you gotta watch out for boar

ornamentalmatt.bsky.social•23 days ago

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maestraoogway.bsky.social•23 days ago

I'm guessing I'll be dead by then. Could we expedite it?

megapocalypse.bsky.social•23 days ago

Didn't I hear this, but as a children's book about an old woman who swallowed a fly?

Perhaps we'll die

dangrously.bsky.social•23 days ago

just wait till Lutheran and Mennonite ISISes start rising up.

mosphotos.bsky.social•23 days ago

hell ya, luddites unite

sparaflash.bsky.social•23 days ago

What if this is the right prophecy?

https://bsky.app/profile/sparaflash.bsky.social/post/3lh7j6fmsj22k

foolishobserver.bsky.social•23 days ago

Should we just fast forward to Robot AISIS?

indridrook.bsky.social•23 days ago

and when winter rolls around the gorillas will freeze to death

blargdragon.bsky.social•23 days ago

I can hear Sophie groaning ethereally

vaguebiscuit.bsky.social•23 days ago

My only concern is we accidentally create Sikh ISIS and then we're all fucked

jctenton.bsky.social•23 days ago

Sikh ISIS shows up at your house every day and force feeds you free vegetarian food

rewhan.bsky.social•23 days ago

Wait, I'm coming around on this idea...

jimisgrowing.bsky.social•23 days ago

Indira Gandhi spinning fast enough in her grave to power the whole Indian railway system.

geonv.bsky.social•22 days ago

Classic "old lady who swallowed a fly" manouver

sl128.bsky.social•23 days ago

i know an old lady who swallowed a FLISIS. maybe she could cough it up to help somewhere.

rewhan.bsky.social•23 days ago

Brought to you by the Cane Toad Ecology Council of Australia

shivax.bsky.social•23 days ago

No one knows why she swallowed that fly...

doubleharold.bsky.social•23 days ago

Is this a more "let them fight" situation, or a "whoever wins, we lose" kind of deal?

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milesofroses.bsky.social•23 days ago

Like the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly... except more apocalyptic

aloysius.bsky.social•23 days ago

there was an old lady who swallowed an isis, I don't know why she swallowed an isis, perhaps she'll die

mshawkin.bsky.social•23 days ago

Egyptian goddess of motherhood, protection, and magic Isis needs to get in the game.

iwriteok.bsky.social•23 days ago

Isis ISIS, the most powerful ISIS of all

skullbeard.bsky.social•23 days ago

Andrea Thomas?

This may predate you...

https://youtu.be/H7MHGDGmsk8?si=j9sBvhyRKUeThyFA

mshawkin.bsky.social•23 days ago

All of my favorite things predate me

jules.tgirl.gay•23 days ago

when can this unfortunately named street in los angeles get in on the action?

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jules.tgirl.gay•23 days ago

when the terrorist group that you funded to get rid of the the terrorist group that you funded to get rid of the the terrorist group that you funded to get rid of the the terrorist group that you funded to get rid of the democratically elected government does terrorism.

javscatte.bsky.social•23 days ago

I think Americans are more likely to create atheist ISIS

quailinthecity.bsky.social•23 days ago

hopes and dreams vs thoughts and prayers

mathieuwessel.bsky.social•23 days ago

And in the end we'll have to ask the Pope to bring in the Catholic legions to pacify the squabbling factions

luarvik.bsky.social•23 days ago

"Bah god, that's Unitarian ISIS' music!"

tr11stano.bsky.social•23 days ago

Spoilers for After the Revolution III: Revolt Hardest

mayawest.online•23 days ago

this one goes out to those brave Deserat fighters

fmias.bsky.social•23 days ago

The Mormon Yee-hawd is coming.

cjbrinton.bsky.social•23 days ago

DO NOT watch Anerican Primeval right now

huge-jackedman.bsky.social•23 days ago

Id take it over tech brolarchy. Same amount of sexual assault, less drugs, more boardgame nights.

mxhrad.bsky.social•23 days ago

same amount of racism, too.

danielalanbaker.bsky.social•23 days ago

Been saying this since I realized who my parents really were. I grew up with vanilla Isis in south Florida. People have no idea. One reason I love your book.

divinecoffeebinge.bsky.social•23 days ago

"caffeine is permissible if its consumption eases the vigilance of the infidel"

hermeticopus.bsky.social•23 days ago

"Since caffeine is a sin anyway, we may as well skip direct to pervitin."

daphnelawless.com•23 days ago

Mormons Auf Speed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fRB27kFOG0

parkorloois.bsky.social•23 days ago

omg DIE KRUPPS!

shvlnose.bsky.social•23 days ago

JFC, I can’t wrap my brain around how we got HERE, but yep….

wolftree.bsky.social•23 days ago

More likely, we get 6000 insufferably smug podcasts about the importance of law & order.

skyeon.bsky.social•23 days ago

Well when does Amish ISIS form? 🤨🤔
Not really a matter of if but when, right?

lmnisop.bsky.social•23 days ago

How convenient that American Primeval just came out

lemaki.bsky.social•23 days ago

Mormonism never leads anywhere good. The best case scenario is Mr Brightside.

quailinthecity.bsky.social•23 days ago

Tegan and Sarah were the opening act so... Hope

chris-1970.bsky.social•23 days ago

True because white soccer mom ISIS just can’t get the job done!!

usurpedlettuce.bsky.social•23 days ago

e6n.bsky.social•23 days ago

Does it really count as a coup if it's what got voted for? Not just... the county's id?

gyrozeppili.bsky.social•22 days ago

I guess I'd die fighting side by side with a Mormon.

andrealessi.bsky.social•23 days ago

They'll do Mountain Meadows Massacre II on the tech bros in San Francisco while dressed up as homeless people.

tee-to-the-gee.bsky.social•23 days ago

looking forward to drone videos out of the Utah Demilitarised Zone

imperialaxis.bsky.social•23 days ago

Was the FBI full of Mormons? Was that a thing? Why?

puddlebrigade.bsky.social•18 days ago

alphabet soup agencies recruit from lds bc they have so much language training for going on mission trips, and bc they're already brainwashed to defer to a structured authority. it's a big source of feds, really

danielalanbaker.bsky.social•22 days ago

The fbi had a reputation for being really uptight about the letter of the law. Whereas the cia by contrast didn’t give a fuck and would do anything to anyone to get a job done even if it was an outright evil objective. So the fbi attracted lots of mormans irl and the cia got… other patriotic people.

mefcorv.bsky.social•23 days ago

We also have “Elon Musk stupidly cuts off VA disability checks for PTSD’d out Iraq vets.”

kumararepublic.bsky.social•22 days ago

Further hope yet...
https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2021/09/27/rise-liberal-latter-day-saints/

donbaldwin.bsky.social•23 days ago

A bunch of modern day Porter Rockwells.

bippity.bsky.social•23 days ago

It would take a gang of Wild Bill Hickmans to get this job done right