Why is it a comfort zone if I'm not supposed to stay in it? It's not good to get to the point of meltdowns, shutdowns or autistic burnout. Asking a fish to grab some food from the surface is asking to go out of comfort zone, but doable. Tossing it on land and demanding it climbs a tree is not. - ThreadSky

autisticadam.bsky.social • 94 days ago

Why is it a comfort zone if I'm not supposed to stay in it?

It's not good to get to the point of meltdowns, shutdowns or autistic burnout. Asking a fish to grab some food from the surface is asking to go out of comfort zone, but doable. Tossing it on land and demanding it climbs a tree is not.

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mellowfish.blog•94 days ago

I feel like a lot of this advice is about not allowing the scar tissue around trauma to prevent us from living out best lives. Some things just outside of comfortable aren’t (quite) painful and can be rewarding. And sometimes (brief, well planned, w/recovery time) painful things can be worth it too.

mellowfish.blog•94 days ago

And like everything, it can be twisted and taken too far and used as an excuse for unnecessary pain, etc. but the core idea is very helpful to keep in mind. All things in moderation, including moderation, etc.

ann1ebee.bsky.social•93 days ago

Occasionally stepping out of the comfort zone allows one to see if the comfort zone can be expanded in order to experience a richer more meaningful life; however, that's different from leaping so far outside of the comfort zone that there is no easy retreat should it prove detrimental.

heicher.com•94 days ago

I’ve had to pretty much get comfortable with getting uncomfortable. Unfortunately the real world is brutal and for me, I’ve really had to mentally toughen up. I’ve developed tricks to largely avoid meltdowns and burnout. It helps that I also thrive on challenges.

sebwrites.bsky.social•94 days ago

This is what I did until I completely burned out. There are limits to how much the nervous system can handle. I'm learning to toughen up in other ways, such as toughening up my boundaries, and getting outside my financial comfort zone. I think everyone has to find what works for them individually.

heicher.com•93 days ago

It took lots of time and I had to pace things to avoid burnout. The other thing is I had to lose the urge of keeping things in control and learn that some things I’ll never be able to control. That allowed me to work on myself more.

sebwrites.bsky.social•93 days ago

Yeah, I feel like I'm moving in the other direction from a different location. I've had to empower myself to understand that I can control or affect certain things, while still accepting there are limits. I think either way, it means stepping outside of convention, which can be a source of shame.

sebwrites.bsky.social•93 days ago

Depends on where the "locus of control" is in relation to a given individual, and learning how to navigate towards or away from that locus in order to make life doable. But the position of that locus can depend on personality as well as circumstance.

sorenable.bsky.social•93 days ago

That’s a really good metaphor.

danielwendler.com•93 days ago

Yeah, there's many meaningful things in life outside the comfort zone, but the comfort zone is there for a reason. Go too far outside the comfort zone and you get overwhelmed, stay too long outside and you get burned out. It's critical to give yourself time for rest and replenishment.

beatrixbelle.bsky.social•94 days ago

People don't understand that autistic people are rarely IN their comfort zone. Some of us got so good at shoving the discomfort to the back of the brain that we actually forgot how to be comfortable at all.

darkacademiavibes.bsky.social•93 days ago

I see comfort zones as the way to your boundaries. Define the boundary first and then play about in the zone between comfort and boundary. That way you’re always safe but it helps you to avoid burnout because that breaches the boundary. 🙏

lexieinholland.bsky.social•93 days ago

Of course, but sometimes, a comfort zone prevents you (not you personally) from doing something that is beneficial to you. Many comfort zones exist to comfort anxiety and are not really comfortable. So you stay there even when you do not want to stay. It is okay to investigate it from time to time

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