doctor: your blood glucose is over 800 cookie monster: is that bad doctor: sir it's deadly Cookie Monster: (softly) me want cookie - ThreadSky

ygrene.bsky.social • 78 days ago

doctor: your blood glucose is over 800

cookie monster: is that bad

doctor: sir it's deadly

Cookie Monster: (softly) me want cookie

Comments

basilmai.bsky.social•78 days ago

Cookie Monster is genetically adapted for high sugar and flour consumption. It's canon.

matthebanditkng.bsky.social•78 days ago

I need someone to draw this lol
I would but I’m at work

nikkijane.bsky.social•78 days ago

Cookie Monster no have job or insurance. No insulin too expensive, but Walmart cookies cheap and filled with bad chemicals.
Pharmacy like: oh well

alecsantiago.bsky.social•78 days ago

As someone who comforts with sweet treats, this hits

burkeholland.bsky.social•78 days ago

"is that bad" is grammatically correct and wildly out of character

croxbox.bsky.social•77 days ago

I swear that on everthing in my life went to my dr and checked my blood sugar... IT WAS 920. My dr looked at me and was like
"OMG 👁👄👁"

thatdadjason.bsky.social•78 days ago

Can relate. Mine was 750 when I found out I was T1.

ibll.dev•78 days ago

Mine was over 1300 😵‍💫

thatdadjason.bsky.social•78 days ago

How were you not dead?

ibll.dev•78 days ago

I'd been doing really really poorly (understatement) the day before, puked up basically my entire stomach, went to bed a corpse. Mum felt the need to check on me in the middle of the night and I was unresponsive. Parents took me to the local hospital, and I got Med-Evac'd to a bigger hospital.

thatdadjason.bsky.social•78 days ago

Glad you got to the hospital when you did. I foolishly chalked my symptoms up to the stress of being a new dad with triplets. Turns out I was half right; could be what triggered the T1, lol.

ibll.dev•78 days ago

They said if I'd gotten there even like 10 minutes later I'd probably be dead. So just lucky.

leahbieler.bsky.social•78 days ago

750! What must that Dexcom alert sound like?

thatdadjason.bsky.social•78 days ago

More like the tone of the nurse calling me after reading my blood test results. Lesson was: don't ignore your body when it suddenly loses 65+lbs in a few short months.

bolt505.bsky.social•78 days ago

Yeah I relate lol. I didn't notice at all. Only went to the doctor after I was throwing up water because it was too hard for my body to digest with ketoacidosis TwT

leahbieler.bsky.social•78 days ago

2 kids with T1D. Both were so pissed when people told them how amazing they were looking just after diagnosis. So ‘healthy’

gardentroll.bsky.social•72 days ago

Relatable. Never received more compliments in my life than when T1D caused me to lose a scary amount of weight

dearabbymacd.bsky.social•78 days ago

This was my first thought. My kid was in the 700s at diagnosis and I think she would have said the same thing.

rvterrorist.bsky.social•78 days ago

Don't worry, little fella. The high blood pressure is probably more from the stress of living in a blue suit made from a 1970s shag rug that you can't eat or breathe thru.

You get naked, and you eat those cookies 🍪 😋

dunnykz.bsky.social•78 days ago

gonna die anyways have a cookie

wynde.bsky.social•78 days ago

Yeah, for me trying to get blood sugar at a normal level for surgery, but holiday yummies are killing me. So bad bad bad of me.
Oooooo pecan pieeeee

fryem.bsky.social•78 days ago

Honestly a 400 feels better than a 40. Give me cookie.

friendofdrbob.bsky.social•18 days ago

The last time my glucose was really high I ended up in intensive care for 10 days w diabetic ketoacidosis. Had to be revived a couple of times. No fun.

lauriel27.bsky.social•78 days ago

😆😆😆

logicalpatriot.bsky.social•78 days ago

Sad reality is, due to misinformation narratives, people trust physicians less and less these days.

I can promise you, I didn't finish in the top of my undergrad class, go to a top medical school, and train in a top residency to have no clue about patient care.

I care deeply about patient care

sunday1029.bsky.social•78 days ago

I love the idea of the doctor calling Coolie Monster “sir”

msmagicdishes.bsky.social•78 days ago

My dad died with sugars at 719. Cookie Monster has a cookie based metabolism so he can just flaunt his immunity to glucose.

jcdogboard.bsky.social•78 days ago

Following for more of this epic sauce

d-a-d.bsky.social•78 days ago

I rather think that Cookie Monster needs that level to be alive.

zeemeermin.bsky.social•78 days ago

Ofcourse he wants a cookie. His cells are starving with a blood glucose this high. Give him an IV with isuline immidiatly so his cells can actually get the nutrition that they need, and quit whining about his diet, it's not the problem.

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

i guess when i wrote the joke, i was basing it off of the premise that there's literally no way to know if cookie monster has a problem with insulin but the whole context around cookie monster is that he consumes just sooooo many cookies, so

nikkijane.bsky.social•78 days ago

I’m diabetic and still laughed. But if he was truly at 800, he probably wasn’t talking much sense, so give him some cheese with his fluids and insulin.

zeemeermin.bsky.social•78 days ago

The last sentence was funny, I'll admit

nikkijane.bsky.social•78 days ago

The only benefit to emergency medicine work is the gallows humor.

crownvic63.bsky.social•78 days ago

Community health-same

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

that’s literally why i made it 800, it had to be an outrageous number. keep in mind we are talking about a cookie monster joke about cookie monster’s excessive behavior, which is literally what cookie monster is known for

zeemeermin.bsky.social•78 days ago

I know, but you forgot that a blood glucose level of 800 is deadly and only people with diabetes type 1 can have blood glucose levels that high. For those people their diet is never the problem.

So for me it falls flat, sorry

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

i’ll remember that the next time i write a joke about cookie monster coming to terms with his behavior

zeemeermin.bsky.social•78 days ago

Maybe stick to the fat and the lack of vitamins. ;-)

itsme-sandy.bsky.social•78 days ago

Dieting is similar. I get depressed if I gain a pound and want to console myself by eating cookies.

mookow.bsky.social•78 days ago

If that case make it 2 cookies, I’m going out happy

unchartedraider.bsky.social•78 days ago

I mean...Chocolate cookies though-

terisane.bsky.social•78 days ago

I hope u r kidding about that hi a glucose

jadewoodbeast.bsky.social•78 days ago

Maybe he's just built different

bewilderedowl.bsky.social•78 days ago

yeah, we don't know how monsters metabolize sugar.

jonathanmlewis.bsky.social•78 days ago

"Me a monster.....not a sucker."

machinaezer0.bsky.social•78 days ago

The heart wants what it wants 😔

hottchocolate.bsky.social•78 days ago

😂😂

brucec01.bsky.social•78 days ago

But the heart has nothing to do with it !! And, the heart is generally wrong 😆

corwin007.bsky.social•78 days ago

geez, i thought 400 was high...

deadasfuk.bsky.social•78 days ago

Lmao my sweet tooth will be the death of me 😆 💀

slinktheweasel.bsky.social•78 days ago

Over 800? bah.. Lightweight.

Over 1060 when diagnosed. :D

*yes I know it's not a competition!*

sphyrnashores.bsky.social•78 days ago

How are you even alive?!

sholtzee.bsky.social•78 days ago

Me at my last GP appt when going over my results ………..

its-its.bsky.social•78 days ago

Life is fatal. Eat the cookie.

842871883.bsky.social•78 days ago

No, you can't eat it.

whopado.bsky.social•78 days ago

Doctor: "Too much fat and cholesterol. You could have a heart attack."
Me: "Given the choice between fat and happy for a few years and then a sudden death or a long life denying my pleasures and years of pushing a walker, incontinent and drooling, I think I will take the cookies!"

valadin.bsky.social•77 days ago

Deadly for human, perhaps

gnocchidokey.bsky.social•78 days ago

inaccurate, cookie monster has a special metabolism that allows him to process sugar into every necessary nutrient so he can subsist entirely on cookies and remain in peak form

i keep asking what his secret is but he won't tell me

blockchainanalyst.bsky.social•77 days ago

The struggle is real

even2death.bsky.social•78 days ago

baldfacedlie.bsky.social•77 days ago

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

glad i only used capital letters on the last line. not dwelling on this at all btw

realityred.bsky.social•78 days ago

I never noticed, Barbara.

yourhappyhost.com•78 days ago

I think you are dwelling on it.

tommy3320.bsky.social•78 days ago

Inside you, there are two cookie monsters.

The entity cm concerns itself with health and doctor visits (the mundane). The entity CM want cookie (the transcendent).

bryan.oh-hi.org•78 days ago

Apple Intelligence fails again

alexsavedtheday.bsky.social•77 days ago

whispers

C is for cookie, that good enough for me

orebeachgirl.bsky.social•78 days ago

So this…🥺😢

rockfact1181.bsky.social•78 days ago

50% of my days in family medicine

bobappleyard.bsky.social•78 days ago

if it goes below 750 the cookie monster explodes

ford427stroker.bsky.social•77 days ago

At least he will die happy...should have made that a canna butter chocolate cookie.

anunir.bsky.social•78 days ago

Diabetic cookie monster sounds like an SNL skit pitch.

amethystdarke.bsky.social•78 days ago

I'm diabetic and take insulin. My experience is that the doctor would just give CM more and more insulin until his blood glucose was in normal range. Doctors may occasionally mention diet and lifestyle, but their job is to write prescriptions.

If CM's sugar was over 800, he probably couldn't speak.

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

thank you

bolusmjak.bsky.social•78 days ago

doctor: your blood glucose is over 800

cookie monster:

bolusmjak.bsky.social•78 days ago

person: pardon me, do you have the time?

dead person:

mricecream.bsky.social•78 days ago

That's the day cookie monster started chewing the cookie and letting all the pieces fall off his mouth

lionessmom.bsky.social•78 days ago

😄

serendipity05.bsky.social•78 days ago

tvtraytalk.bsky.social•77 days ago

All of us right now🍪🍪🍪🥠🥠🥠

wessoman.bsky.social•78 days ago

"C is for Cardiac Arrest, that's good enough for me..."

novimatrem.bsky.social•77 days ago

me irl

caffeinebuzz.bsky.social•78 days ago

Cookie Monster here for good time, not long time.

walker-i.bsky.social•78 days ago

when I GO ....
I'm going like ... Cookie Monster!

tinybagel.bsky.social•78 days ago

Tiny bagel offer tiny bagel swap, but it's just as bad as cookie, sorry C. Monster 🥯🍪

darkvisuals.bsky.social•78 days ago

so cute 🥹

detoxrescue.bsky.social•78 days ago

🤣

djackson1.bsky.social•78 days ago

This had me laughing so hard I spit out my coffee! I feel your pain cookie monster 😂😂

salviao.bsky.social•78 days ago

a papercut would make the poor lad bleed sugar crystals

firstnamebob.bsky.social•78 days ago

doctor: no cookie monster, "me want insulin"

ceilingcat.bsky.social•78 days ago

Muppets can’t get diabetes

fiddleyfud.bsky.social•78 days ago

The Cookie monster has a natural immunity.

Unfortunately, humans don't.

suesantoro.bsky.social•78 days ago

This reminds me of Bill W. , founder of AA - supposedly when he was dying he asked for a last shot of whiskey - the purists around him didn't allow him to have it saying it'd destroy his legacy, denying him his last wish after he helped so many. Give people the cookie, shot, whatever!

friendofdrbob.bsky.social•18 days ago

There were no “purists” around him & destroying his “legacy” had nothing to do w the decision. Bill was suffering from oxygen deprivation due to Emphysema & was incapable of making a conscious decision to ask for a drink. It wasn’t his last wish; it was ranting of someone whose mind was not working.

friendofdrbob.bsky.social•18 days ago

There is so much disinformation online about Alcoholics Anonymous history. Some of it just passing on misinformation & some, deliberate attempts at hate speech. I prefer actually doing the research to verify the true history & dispel the myths & distractions.

suesantoro.bsky.social•18 days ago

...I would never condone this behavior and never would interfere with a dying person's last request unless it would harm them or someone else. That's just compassion. Have a great day

suesantoro.bsky.social•18 days ago

Good morning - I was not present at Bill W's death and I assume you weren't either. I also said "supposedly" - did not present the story as fact - it's been discussed for decades however. As an oncology RN who has been at the bedside of many dying people...

friendofdrbob.bsky.social•18 days ago

Two good friends of mine were at Bill’s bedside & we discussed it at length years ago. His asking is fact. He was non compos mentis at the time.

hilusnacks.bsky.social•78 days ago

We understand that voice.

stubbymachine.bsky.social•78 days ago

Our God and Savior, Cookie Monster, is not bound by human bodily standards for the cookie is his life source

reynolds79.bsky.social•78 days ago

Lol 😂 ❤️

mari-moxy.bsky.social•78 days ago

It's time you start listening to your doctor, Cookie Monster. Here's a hug. 🫂

caryrichmond.bsky.social•78 days ago

I feel seen

andyspags.bsky.social•78 days ago

We are all Cookie Monster.

downthewing.com•78 days ago

In fairness, we don’t know where the blood glucose level of a Cookie Monster is supposed to be. 😂💙🍪

crownvic63.bsky.social•78 days ago

This is the correct answer. Maybe Cookie live at 600.

kimortiz.bsky.social•77 days ago

this had no business being this funny

andrewt1800.bsky.social•78 days ago

What if blood glucose gets to over 9000?

nuttinhoney.bsky.social•78 days ago

Perfect election analogy 😞

earthfan.bsky.social•78 days ago

Actually, time for a cookie break.

andrewvazquez.bsky.social•78 days ago

techsticles.bsky.social•77 days ago

SNL skit: Cookie monster Ozempic commercial. You are welcome.

stillraptor.bsky.social•78 days ago

Sounds like my 71 y/o "cookie monster"🙄

alixxxlee.bsky.social•78 days ago

adamk201.bsky.social•78 days ago

hes a cookie MONSTER
human restrictions do not apply to þat man

dumbbeezie.bsky.social•78 days ago

Nooo. 😭

ygrene.bsky.social•78 days ago

🍪❌💔

innercitysub.bsky.social•78 days ago

file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/dd/13/1D48A8D7-4E59-4920-9AB3-C7F89732AA39/IMG_4537001.jpg

fellatesheohhhh.bsky.social•78 days ago

🤣👍🌻 ohhh noo yesssss 👏

orphandemocrat.bsky.social•78 days ago

melindacorr.bsky.social•78 days ago

Saddest thing I’ve read this year.

wintermeer.bsky.social•78 days ago

Poor Sid!

Many people don't know, but that is his name!

jejunco.bsky.social•78 days ago

chocolate chip, oatmeal, sugar, coconut…have all the cookies, Cookie

autumn-rook.bsky.social•78 days ago

I can't help but feel that any creature that had evolved to the point of living off of cookies would also have evolved to require the high glucose levels. Maybe our healthy levels would be dangerously low for him? 😅