Do folks not know about spoons as a disability term? If you see folks talking about not having enough spoons this is what it’s from: www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-spoo... - ThreadSky

erinbiba.bsky.social • 114 days ago

Do folks not know about spoons as a disability term? If you see folks talking about not having enough spoons this is what it’s from:

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-spoon-theory-6822953

Comments

pamjoy67.bsky.social•114 days ago

ppsue.bsky.social•113 days ago

I suffer chronic pain and never knew this term! Your description of how days vary is so easily explained with "spoons". Maybe my husband will understand me when I say I just don't have any spoons in my drawer today, I need a break. Thank you for sharing💙

codywalton.bsky.social•114 days ago

Why spoons? Surely batteries are more apt metaphor?

erinbiba.bsky.social•114 days ago

The article explains its origins.

dabookdragon.bsky.social•114 days ago

I'm disabled but my literary mind vigorously rejects the spoon analogy cuz it makes no sense. I understand the concept but I use hit points like life stars or hearts and a video game. Because that analogy to me makes sense. Just my personal idiosyncrasy.

dabookdragon.bsky.social•114 days ago

I did research why she used spoons. Apparently when she was trying to explain the concept for the first time in a restaurant all she had on the table were spoons.

justleanin.bsky.social•113 days ago

My mom has a literary mind and if I tried to use hit points to explain, she'd accuse me of purposely trying to confuse her. Book nerds and video game nerds are not equivalent 😂

dabookdragon.bsky.social•113 days ago

Look at my profile name. It is daBookdragon. I am a literary nerd. Avid reader for 50 years (since age 4) poetry lover 40+ years (since age 12) I am not a gamer. Not even close. However I am aware of gaming & hit points make a good metaphor for life energy. Spoons do not . Like I said it is just me.

dabookdragon.bsky.social•113 days ago

I wonder what metaphor your mother would choose. It would make an interesting question to ask people unaware of spoons what they would equate with limited life energy that decreases with emotional & physical activity.

justleanin.bsky.social•113 days ago

Definitely paper and rope. "Honey I tried to tie up as many loose ends as I could, but I'm all out of rope at this point, I have to sit down." "I really wanted to wrap everything up but I've run out of paper today, maybe tomorrow."

dabookdragon.bsky.social•113 days ago

That makes sense!

jeffna.bsky.social•113 days ago

I love it, and whenever I feel like giving someone the advanced crash course I throw in the concept of forks (as per The Good Place).

God help anyone in the vicinity when I’m having a spoons but no forks day.

jeannho.bsky.social•114 days ago

📌

xenusparadox.bsky.social•114 days ago

I prefer the more blunt term "fucks to give" as it's self-explanatory.

erinbiba.bsky.social•114 days ago

That’s completely different.

xenusparadox.bsky.social•114 days ago

Feels the same to my depressed ass but I'm not telling anyone how to talk.

justleanin.bsky.social•113 days ago

Of course the outcome is the same, but even so, you wouldn't say that emotional bandwidth and physical bandwidth are the same, right? Ideally you'd run out of spoons at the same time you ran out of fucks, but some times you still REALLY give a fuck but don't have the spoons to fix it

chartervanilla.bsky.social•113 days ago

They don't!! I had to introduce the term to my husband and his family. I was SUPER surprised none of them knew.

ahahunter.bsky.social•114 days ago

Interesting visual. I’ve heard a similar concept describing limits on executive function energy.

ohiohawkeye.bsky.social•114 days ago

I’m well acquainted with spoon theory compliments of a coworker with multiple disabilities but I don’t get the sense that it’s well socialized!

kleonardphd.bsky.social•114 days ago

I’ve seen the spoons metaphor for years and years now, but I still have not been able to get past the feeling that it is condescending to both the disabled folks and the people that we’re trying to educate about our energy levels. It always makes me cringe.

kitauthor.com•114 days ago

Some of us geekier disabled use "spell slots" because you choose what "spells" you need for a day and then you can refresh them on a daily basis. And, though it's been ages since I played D&D there's a penalty if you/your party doesn't get a good night's rest.

erinbiba.bsky.social•114 days ago

Different now. Some classes can only get them back on a long rest. Some can get them back on a short rest.

kitauthor.com•114 days ago

That still kind of makes sense to me. Like a short rest allows me to dive back in to some things.... but like work around the homestead? If I want to do a big project that takes a long rest.

arvurebantra.bsky.social•114 days ago

If I am using it for MYSELF how is it condescending? I am using it for my own benefit, not the benefits of others.

sarlalian.bsky.social•114 days ago

Yes, though lately my souse and I have been phrasing in terms of spells in D&D, where some can be cast many times (knitting) and some take everything you have (going to the post office).

jons253.bsky.social•113 days ago

Also, if you run out of low-level spell slots for, say, Tak a Shower, that uses the spell slot so it's unavailable later for a higher-level task like, say, Fold Laundry or Make a Phone Call.

jeffna.bsky.social•113 days ago

This is why small spoons are highly prized. Having to use a big spoon for small tasks sucks.

nbrookus.bsky.social•113 days ago

Make a Phone Call is a level 9 spell.

sarlalian.bsky.social•113 days ago

Why … why does it have to be so damn difficult?

phollott.bsky.social•114 days ago

The great thing about D&D folks is how easy it is to explain hard-to-explain things to them in terms of spell slots and saving throws, right?

sarlalian.bsky.social•113 days ago

So true

tujungadude.bsky.social•114 days ago

… spoons? Representing energy?

AA batteries, sure. Matches, maybe. Spoons, I don’t understand.

erinbiba.bsky.social•114 days ago

Someone in my replies today didn’t know so I thought I’d share just in case! 🥰

capncavedan.bsky.social•114 days ago

I did not know; thanks for sharing

queersky.xyz•113 days ago

Hi, I'm someone else in your replies that didn't know. I was under the impression that it was specifically a term used by autistic individuals and didn't want to appropriate it.

jennarainhm.bsky.social•114 days ago

This applies to me, but I did not know that term, so thank you. :)

mabehr.bsky.social•114 days ago

I never heard the term, so thanks! Reminds me of “matches” in cycling

ajmirabelle.bsky.social•114 days ago

This was the only way some of my family understood after my disability.

erinbiba.bsky.social•114 days ago

It’s INCREDIBLY useful.

ajmirabelle.bsky.social•114 days ago

It's (relatively) old isn't It? Like 15 years or so?
But so effective.

disnothus.bsky.social•114 days ago

Oh at least, it's lived on for a reason haha

missfannie.bsky.social•114 days ago

Wow. ❤️

emilyvb.bsky.social•114 days ago

YES! This is the only way I've been able to get my mom to understand some of my limitations. When I first explained it to her though, I swapped out spoons for dollars, it helped her understand & didn't really matter. But now I can just say, "remember the spoons?" & she gets it.

ajmirabelle.bsky.social•114 days ago

We use spoons short hand too.
Changing to whatever item will resonate for your audience was smart of you. Idk why spoons works for so many but 🤷🏼‍♀️.

smpa.bsky.social•114 days ago

I think it's because you can kind of replace forks and knives with spoons but neither of those things help with, e.g., tomato soup. Like it's relatively easy to imagine "there are NO SPOONS therefore I am screwed" scenarios. Bowls/plates works the same way, at least with soup (soup is tricky).

ajmirabelle.bsky.social•113 days ago

So now I'm completely fixated on trying to eat soup with a fork.
But also... you're right. The spoon is a super underrated utensil & the perfect one for this analogy.

elithek.bsky.social•113 days ago

At least 2 of us didn't know. Thank you for sharing.

acidosis.bsky.social•114 days ago

I’ve never heard this before but it makes perfect sense.

jgriffee.bsky.social•114 days ago

This is one of those things I’d file under “well understood within a certain group who’ve had it explained to them, but unintuitive to anybody else.”

(This is also maybe excessively literal of me, but how many actual spoons does anyone use in a given day? Why is THAT the metaphor?)

jgriffee.bsky.social•114 days ago

I’ve been known to tell people I’m just plain out of fuel for the day. Doesn’t need much explaining.

captainzenscuel.bsky.social•114 days ago

I actually first heard it there, but was surprised to see people outside of that using it on the regular when I joined here.

woskethoughts.bsky.social•114 days ago

Didn’t know this. Thank you!

azteclady.bsky.social•114 days ago

📌

linhith.bsky.social•114 days ago

I had to explain this to my siblings. It was really difficult for them to understand the concept for some reason.

nonajabiznez.bsky.social•114 days ago

IME, it's a "known among disabled people who spend time online" kind of thing.

I think using spoons as the analogy makes it something folks can't intuit the meaning of. You really need to be told.

I like "bandwidth". I did two things today, that's all I had the bandwidth for.

jobloobird.bsky.social•114 days ago

I agree, I've been aware of it for some time but never use it myself, simply because most people wouldn't have a clue what it means!

faithern.bsky.social•114 days ago

Or moms of autistics ;)

mandymettle.bsky.social•114 days ago

But why spoons? I like it, it’s whimsical, I imagine the person with all their spoons out and then having just one or two and needing to turn down invitations

amaditalks.bsky.social•113 days ago

The theory came from Christine Miserandino’s explanation of life with lupus to her friend while they sat in a diner. There was a bunch of spoons, and she grabbed them to use as a visual representation of limited energy and ability.

mandymettle.bsky.social•113 days ago

Thank you! Appreciate the back ground

stillwellgray.ca•114 days ago

fork metaphor - i can handle maybe 4 things and then i get jabby

dotsandlines.bsky.social•114 days ago

Fork theory is a pretty apt model for me.

https://jenrose.com/fork-theory/

objectiverodeo.com•113 days ago

In these trying times, I feel like we should switch to knives.

chiefskitty.bsky.social•114 days ago

I did not but can relate to the concept❤️‍🩹

catkimbriel.bsky.social•113 days ago

If you want to go back into the depths of time, we used it at the dawn of the internet.

https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

peanutbcrunch.bsky.social•114 days ago

Recent events can at times feel like Daniel Plainview sipping away the Energy Milkshake before a spoon can scoop any of it.

jonocarpenter.bsky.social•114 days ago

Reminded of customised spoons for Hansens disese/leprosy sufferers without fingers on display in the little museum at Kalaupapa, Molokai, Hi.

If you didn't have these spoons, you couldn't eat.

thenoteheleft.bsky.social•114 days ago

I didn't know this. Now I do!

jwb52z.bsky.social•111 days ago

Did this come from a poem? There's a famous poem that uses very similar imagery.

lsstaub.bsky.social•114 days ago

I understand your use of spoons!

wiseowlmakessoap.bsky.social•113 days ago

In my perimenopause everything takes more spoons with less in the drawer.

javajj.bsky.social•113 days ago

Relate but have never heard that before 🫂💞

cheryl2877.bsky.social•114 days ago

This describes me 100%. I never heard it explained like that before. It’s so great that you shared that! #Chronicillness

carolhmack.com•114 days ago

I am familiar with term, but it hasn’t been an issue for me until recently. Now I have very limited energy, and I’m always trying to figure out what one thing I can do today.

cjmatthews.bsky.social•114 days ago

Somehow, as someone who has had psoriasis since middle school, psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia, I had not heard of this before.

auroragirl.bsky.social•114 days ago

I've known it for a while, and know the experience well, but my autism also finds it intractably confusing why "spoon" was chosen when it has no obvious relevance, plus dirty spoons require effort to clean whereas sleep / rest can be enough for me to regain capacity, plus they are so discrete...

spindlebrindle.bsky.social•114 days ago

I've always wondered this as well; it's made me immensely dislike the "spoons" thing. Let's start with the fact that we do not consume spoons. This person went into their kitchen, a room full of consumables, and chose one of the few non-consumable things present to demonstrate something consumable?!

amaditalks.bsky.social•113 days ago

The theory was born when Christine Miserandino was explaining what it’s like to live with lupus to her friend while they were at a diner. She grabbed what was handy to use as an example, which was a bunch of spoons.

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