New Jersey Rep. Jeff Van Drew is calling for a committee to investigate whether Santa was colluding with the Iranian mothership. He said in a statement that "if you write Santa backwards, you get Atnas, and that kinda looks like one a those weird Iranian names."
I'm coming to you from inside the facility where they are keeping the crashed sleigh. I don't know when I'll be discovered. The reindeer are not of this world! I say again: Rudolph's nose is a weapon! The reindeer are not of this world! It's Project Cookbook all over again! They see me! I'll...
UPDATE:
We can now confirm that Santa is OK.
The crash was an unmanned decoy operated by USSF remote pilots. The 12 casualties are now identified as lawn decorations purchased at a Home Depot in Hoboken.
Well they lasered rudolph and blitzen in jersey last night
And they lasered santa too
Down on the boardwalk they’re digging out jersey shore stars
Gonna get all those mtv reruns too
Comments
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Haaail Santaaaaa
We can now confirm that Santa is OK.
The crash was an unmanned decoy operated by USSF remote pilots. The 12 casualties are now identified as lawn decorations purchased at a Home Depot in Hoboken.
And they lasered santa too
Down on the boardwalk they’re digging out jersey shore stars
Gonna get all those mtv reruns too
#MerryXmasAnyway